The One With The Thanksgiving Kiss
by Jana
Summary: Entirely different direction of the show starting with: 'TOW Underdog Gets Away'. Chapter 20 final chapter should appeal to 'Joey and Pheebs fan' *Vic*
1. The One With The Thanksgiving Kiss

**__**

The One With The Thanksgiving Kiss

By: Jana~

Disclaimer located at:

http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/janas_world/disclaimer.htm

*****~*****

--The holiday was shaping up to be an odd one… little did Monica know, 'odd' was just the start…

It all started with Monica and Ross' parents deciding to go with the Blymens to Puerto Rico for the holiday, and what with it being Ross' first Thanksgiving since he'd separated with his wife, Carol, Monica volunteered to cook a 'traditional Thanksgiving dinner' for the two of them. 

Phoebe was invited to join them when they learned that her grandmother planned to celebrate Thanksgiving in December… because her new boyfriend was 'lunar'… whatever that meant. 

Joey then joined the group of 'misfits' when his family told him he couldn't share the pilgrim holiday with them… because of his venereal disease. Joey tried to explain to them that his appearance on a poster advertising the importance of healthcare… that announced his supposed infliction was just 'acting', but they didn't believe him.

Then, there was Chandler, who _never_ had plans on _this_ particular holiday. Since the age of nine, when his parents announced their impending divorce over pumpkin pie, he'd been 'anti-Thanksgiving'. It was unlikely that he'd be over at Monica's the entire time, but he would certainly poke his head in now and then. 

And finally, there was Rachel, who was the only one of their little group who wouldn't be joining them. She usually went to Vale with her family for the holiday, but because her father usually paid the way, and because she refused to take money from him, she almost didn't get to go. But, her friends pulled together and gave her the money, making the trip possible.

--Rachel left in a whirlwind of chaos, hitting everyone with her skis at least once before getting them under control. She thanked everyone again for their financial help, hugged them all and wished them a happy holiday, then left… leaving Ross, Phoebe, Monica, Joey, and a sometimes-present Chandler…

--"I have to go for a bit…" Ross announced… "I'm gonna go talk to my unborn baby." His tone suggested that he wasn't happy about doing it, but resigned to the idea, he stood and headed for the door… "Don't forget to make the potatoes _with_ the lumps."

"I won't forget…" she muttered, annoyed… "Now go before I give you a lump on your head."

*****

--Monica could tell by Phoebe's side of the conversation that the phone call she was on was important…

"Ok, Grams, I'll be right there…" Phoebe said into the phone before placing it back on the cradle... "That was my grandmother..."

Joey, Chandler, and Monica nodded…

"Her boyfriend is in the hospital. She wants me to be there with her…" She grabbed her coat… "I'm sorry for bailing on you…" she apologized to Monica…

"No, Pheebs, it's ok." Monica assured her… "Go be with your grandmother…"

Everyone agreed…

"Ok. I'll let you know what's going on as soon as I know anything…"

*****

--Chandler entered Monica's apartment, phone in hand… "Joey, you have a call…" He handed Joey the cordless phone…

"Hear anything from Pheebs?" Chandler asked Monica quietly as Joey took his call over by the couch…

"Not yet…" she replied as she busily prepared the large holiday meal…

--"Guys! Guess what?!" Joey exclaimed after clicking off the phone… "My family wants me there after all! Guess they finally 'get it' that I was just 'acting' on those posters!" His smile was wide with excitement…

"Oh." Monica acknowledged him… "Ok…"

"I know you went to a lot of trouble…" Joey winced… "Is this gonna be a problem? Cause, if it is, I can stay."

Monica scoffed… "Don't be ridiculous! You should go! Be with your family!"

"Thanks Mon!" He hugged her quick, then ran across the hall into his apartment to gather some items before leaving…

--Monica looked a bit sad as she went back to the dinner preparations…

"You ok?" Chandler asked softly, rubbing her back…

"Yeah." she lied… "I'm fine."

*****

--Ross walked in to find his sister's apartment emptier than when he'd left…

"Where's Joey and Phoebe?" Ross asked…

"Joey's family called and asked him to join them, so he left. And Phoebe's Grandmother's boyfriend was having some kind of problem and was taken to the hospital. Pheebs went to be with her Grandmother… for moral support."

"Wow. So, then, it's just you and Chandler?"

"Well, for as much as Chandler will participate… and, you too."

He smiled awkwardly… "Actually, I came back to tell you… change of plans. I'm gonna be having dinner with Carol and Susan."

"What?"

"Well, the baby kicked for the first time… when I was talking to him. Singing to him, actually. And we started talking about how we were going to raise him and stuff… and it's our first Thanksgiving since the separation. When they asked, I just… _accepted_." He could tell his sister was upset… "But, I could call them and cancel."

"No, no…" she shook her head… "You should go."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You're sure?"

"Ross, don't press me! Just go."

He kissed her cheek quick and was out the door in a flash…

*****

--Chandler walked in to find Monica alone on the couch, no longer in the kitchen cooking…

"Hey…" he greeted her… "Where's Ross? Isn't he back yet?"

"Came, then left." Monica replied, her tone indicating her emotional pain…

"Left? Where'd he go?"

"Carol and Susan's. The baby started kicking, and they were all excited and talking about stuff and what-have-you. I guess the conversation found its way around to the holidays, and they invited him to stay." She sighed… "He just came back long enough to tell me, then he left."

"So, now your big holiday dinner is just for you?"

She nodded, her head hung as she stared at her lap with interest…

He sighed as he joined her on the couch, putting his arm around her and pulling her close… "I'm sorry…"

"It's like, I'm only good enough to spend time with or whatever when there's nothing better, ya'know? As soon as something better comes along, I get pushed aside."

"Maybe it seems that way sometimes…" he spoke softly into her hair as he held her, comforting her… "But, if it makes you feel any better, you are almost _always_ my first choice."

She smiled… "Thanks."

"Ya'know, I was just about to start preparing my holiday feast of tomato soup, grilled cheeses, with a side of Funyuns. Wanna join me?"

"Sure…" she chuckled… "Not really feeling much in the mood for 'Thanksgiving food'…"

He stood, then helped her off the couch… "Now you're speaking my language." He gestured with a jerk of his head towards his apartment… "C'mon. Let's go across the hall."

She nodded her agreement.

*****

--He helped with the making of the food, not that Monica needed it, what with her being a chef and all… but he wanted to.

"I got it…" she told him… "Have a seat."

And Chandler did… on the barstool on the livingroom-side of the counter…

"Don't get me wrong…" she continued their previous conversation… "I like cooking for everyone. I really do. But, sometimes I feel unappreciated, ya'know?"

"Yeah…" he nodded… "And if I ever made you feel unappreciated… then I'm sorry."

She smiled and nodded as she placed the plate of grilled cheese sandwiches on the counter next to the tureen of tomato soup…

"Do your parents know how much this holiday upsets you?" she asked curiously as she joined him, sitting on the barstool on the kitchen-side of the counter…

He shrugged… "I guess. But after the one when I was nine, they were pretty wrapped up in their divorce… and dad's lifestyle change… and mom's adventures in writing erotic novels…"

"So, pretty much too wrapped up in themselves to care…" Monica added…

"Bingo."

She gestured for him to hand over his bowl, and he did… "You ever feel like it's maybe something you could get over?" she asked as she ladled out the soup… "Seems to me that if you really wanted to, with the right help, you could." She handed him his bowl…

"Maybe…" he shrugged as he took the full bowl of soup from her hands and set it down in front of him… "Never seemed worth the trouble." He watched as she ladled out her soup… "I'm fine with soup and sandwiches…"

She smiled… "It's not just about the food, Chandler. This day is about giving thanks. You seem too wrapped up in the past, bitter about what happened when you were nine… obsessing instead of being thankful for what you have _now_."

"That's not entirely true…" he defended himself… "I'm thankful we're here together today, sharing this meal…" He smiled as he picked up the knife that was nearby… "Shall I carve?"

She grinned and nodded, gesturing to the plate of sandwiches… "By all means."

He cut the sandwiches in half, then took 3 halves and set them on his plate. "How many?" he asked her as he picked up her plate…

"Just one."

"One half or one sandwich?"

"One half."

He hopped off the barstool after handing Monica her plate… "I almost forgot…" He went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine, holding it up for her to see before grabbing 2 glasses…

He poured them each a glass, then retook his seat, holding the glass up to propose a toast… "To friendship."

She smiled and clinked her glass against his… "To friendship." she repeated…

*****

--"Thanks for helping me put everything away…" Monica said as they put the last of the traditional untouched dinner away…

Chandler stood from having found a spot on the bottom shelf in the fridge for the yams… "Oh, you're welcome…" He walked over to sit on the couch and noticed the message light on the answering machine was blinking… "Mon, you have a message."

"Hit the button for me?" she asked, her hands wet as she started to wash the dishes…

"Sure." He hit the button, then plopped down on the couch as the machine cued up the message…

"Hi guys, it's me…" Phoebe's voice filled the room… "Gram's boyfriend is fine… he was having an allergic reaction to…" she hesitated before continuing… "Apparently he's allergic to… lubricant."

Chandler and Monica smiled at one another and chuckled as the message continued…

"Hope you guys are having a good time. Save me some yams!"

"No problem there…" Chandler quipped…

"Bye!"

The message ended, and the machine made a series of beeps and noises before resetting…

"How embarrassing for Phoebe's Grammy's boyfriend…"

Monica nodded… "Yeah." She turned off the water and dried her hands before joining Chandler on the couch… "I'll get those later."

"Really?"

"Yeah…" she squinted, eyeing him warily… "Why?"

"It's just, I've never seen you walk away from a mess before."

She glared, a smile sneaking through… "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not _that_ anal."

He laughed… "Yes you are."

After slapping him playfully, she smiled and welcomed his arm around her… "Fine. Maybe I am…"

"Mmm-hmm…" he smirked… "And the real reason for walking away from the kitchen sink…?"

"Roasting pan needs to soak…" she replied…

"There'ya go."

He pulled her tight to him and kissed her hair… and a thought crossed her mind at that moment. If anyone who didn't know them were to see them right then, they would most likely figure them to be dating. It would be an automatic assumption… the way they acted around one-another… the hugs, the closeness as they just sat around casually talking, or watching TV…

They did that a lot, she recalled suddenly, and the recollection caused her to sit up and look into his eyes…

"What?" he asked with a slight smile, questioning her action… her deep blue eyes boring into his…

"Ever think about how we are with each other?"

He scowled, his expression confused… "What do you mean?"

"I was just thinking…"

"I thought I smelled smoke." He quipped, but she ignored…

"Often times, when we're together, I think strangers would think we're a couple…" She waited for a reaction, but upon getting none, she continued… "Cause we always sit so close… in each other's arms… on each other's laps… ya'know what I mean?"

He nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor… "Does it… bother you?"

"No. It's not that…" she sighed… "Guess I was just… thinking about it. Is all…"

"I just…" he responded with a soft voice… "You're my best friend. I guess I just feel really close to you."

She smiled… "You're my best friend too… next to Rachel." She added…

He acknowledged with a head nod and a hand gesture…

"It's just… sometimes…" she fidgeted, unsure of how to continue…

He placed his hand on hers to stop her from wringing them… "What?"

She looked up into his eyes, then, without any warning, leaned in and kissed him.

It was a soft kiss, not at all demanding or expecting… just tender and brief…

He stared at her for a moment, his voice gone as his heart raced from her actions… "What did you do that for?" he asked in a whisper…

"I--"

Just then the front door flew open, preventing Monica from answering… "Man that was some good food!" Joey announced, heading for the fridge… "I don't think I could eat another bite!"

Chandler stared at Monica for a second or two, then tore his eyes away… "Then, why are you looking in the fridge, Joe?"

Joey paused, then looked between Chandler and the fridge, then back again… "You know, I have no idea." He closed the icebox door… "Habit maybe?"

Chandler just nodded…

"So, where is everyone?" Joey asked casually as he plopped down on the chair nearest the sofa…

"Phoebe is still at the hospital with her Grandmother. Apparently, the boyfriend had an allergic reaction to something…"

"Oh, wow…" Joey interjected…

"Yeah…" Monica continued… "And Carol and Susan invited Ross to go over there for dinner, so, he went… and is still there…"

"So, it was just you two all night?"

Chandler nodded… "Yep."

"Man…" he chuckled… "You musta been so bored!"

"Not really…" Chandler replied…

"I was talking to Monica." Joey clarified…

"Thanks man." Chandler snipped sarcastically, rising from the couch and busying himself nervously with her video collection…

"No…" Monica spoke up… "It wasn't boring." She smiled awkwardly as Chandler turned and looked at her… "The company was good."

Joey shrugged… "Ok, but, he doesn't eat turkey or anything."

"We had soup and sandwiches." Monica explained, her smile dropping when Chandler looked away. Her mind started to whirl with criticisms… her thoughts berating her for kissing Chandler…

Why'd she do it? She wasn't sure. All she knew for sure was that she suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to crawl into bed and pretend it didn't happen. Pretend the confused and shocked expression never crossed his features. She just wanted to crawl away and die of embarrassment…

"Well, I'm gonna go get into my comfortable sweats and watch some porn…" Joey announced, heading for the door… "Later."

Chandler rolled his eyes and waved as his friend and roommate left…

Now it was just the two of them again, and Monica frantically tried to come up with an answer to his question: 'What did you do that for?'

After several moments of silence, Monica finally spoke up… "I don't know why…"

He turned and looked at her… "What?"

"The answer to your question…" she clarified… "I don't know why I kissed you."

He nodded… "Ok…"

She watched him as he walked over to the large bay windows and stared out into the night. What was he thinking? Why was he so upset? Was he angry with her?

"Chandler?" she attempted to gain his attention…

"Hmmm?"

"Are you mad at me?"

He didn't answer, and she winced as she realized… that was his way of saying 'yes'…

"Huh…" he muttered… a sound she wasn't expecting…

"What?"

"Ugly naked guy has a guest…" he turned and looked at Monica… "He's there with ugly naked gal."

Monica stood and rushed to the window to see, and a smile crossed her previously sad face as she watched the two nudists dance by candlelight…

"It's nice that they have someone…" she stated, her sadness returning as she realized she had no one…

Chandler turned and looked at her, a reassuring smile on his face… "Yeah. It is."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked him again, and the smile immediately dropped from his face…

"What? Why on earth would I be mad at you?"

"Cause… before…" she reminded… "Then just now I asked if you were mad at me and you didn't answer…"

"When?"

"Before you spotted ugly naked dancing."

He shook his head… "I didn't hear you, Mon, I swear."

"Oh…" she smiled, relieved… "Ok…"

"Seriously… I could never be mad at you. You could leave me in the desert for dead and I still wouldn't get mad at you!"

"Wow."

"That's not permission, mind you." he quipped, and she laughed…

"I'm sorry I kissed you…" Monica apologized for her behavior…

"Why?"

After a minute of deliberation, she shrugged… "I don't know."

"I'm just sorry it didn't mean something." He admitted, and her expression took on a whole new look…

"What?"

He froze, and his brain cursed him for saying too much… "Did I say that out loud?" he attempted to joke, but her expression remained…

When the phone rang, they both jumped, and at first, Monica ignored it, her eyes staying firmly planted on Chandler… but after the 10th and 11th ring, she tore her eyes away and answered the annoying object…

"Hello?"

"God, Monica, don't do that!" Ross scolded her… "I was getting worried! Why aren't you answering your phone?"

"I was doing the dishes…" she lied… "My hands were wet. What's up?" She looked at Chandler, watching as he began to pace as she only half listened to her brother's account of his holiday…

"Sorry I left you on your own…" he added remorsefully…

"I wasn't alone. Chandler was with me." she told her brother…

"Yeah…" he scoffed… "Might as well have been alone though, huh?"

"Look, Ross, I gotta go. I have lots to clean up before I head to bed… and I want to head to bed now…"

"Oh. Ok. Well, I guess I'll see'ya tomorrow then."

"Yep. Bye." Her eyes stayed on Chandler as she hung up the phone…

"I should probably go…" he said, heading for the door…

"Not yet…" she pleaded… "Please?"

He stopped two steps from the front door, but didn't turn around…

"Chandler, what did you mean by that?"

"By what?"

She approached him and physically turned him to face her… "You know what."

"I don't think I should say."

"Why not?" she pressed…

"Cause, I don't think I can handle one more reason to hate this holiday. And if I tell you, and you… reject--" he stopped abruptly…

She nodded.

"Look, can we just forget this day ever happened?"

She shook her head… "No. I don't want to do that. But, I promise you, tomorrow… everything will be as it was before. We'll never mention it again… if that's what you want."

He smiled, a tiny sharp exhale the only sign of a chuckle, then nodded as he looked down at the floor… "Thanks."

"Don't mention it…" She hugged him tightly… "Thanks for a great holiday."

"You're welcome. Thank _you_." He held her for longer than he probably should have, wanting the hug to last… but he knew if he didn't let go, any chance of walking out the door with even the tiniest scrap of dignity would be gone.

She made no move to break the hug, allowing him to hold her comfortably for as long as he wanted to.

He finally broke away and smiled awkwardly at her… "See'ya tomorrow…"

She nodded, then placed her hand on his cheek, giving him a soft, quick, friendly kiss… "Yep. Night."

He smiled, a slight blush crossing his face… she knew. He knew she knew…

"Night."

He walked out the door, and what happened between them was never mentioned again… ??

TO BE CONTINUED…??

Should I continue? Or leave it 'as is'? Let me know…


	2. The One With The Christmas Strife

**__**

The One With The Christmas Strife

Chapter two of: 'TOW The Thanksgiving Kiss'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--"Wow, Monica, these leftovers are fantastic!" Ross complimented his sister as he, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica sat around the small dining table…

"Yeah, think of how great the meal would have been at the time I made it." Monica replied as she began to clear the dishes to the sink…

"You're not mad cause we took off yesterday, are you?" Phoebe asked as she took a second helping of yams…

"Not mad." She replied…

"If not mad, then what?" Ross asked…

"Then, _nothing_. I was bummed, but, now I'm not."

"I need something sweet…" Joey interjected… "You have any pie?"

Monica rolled her eyes… "Bottom shelf of the fridge…" Discreetly, she glanced over at Chandler who was reading a magazine, propped up comfortably on her couch. She felt instantly ridiculous as her mind conjured up thoughts about how adorable he looked. It was almost like how it might be if they were married… as she busied herself in the kitchen, her husband would sit comfortably on the couch, reading the paper.

*What the hell are you doing?* she yelled at herself, silently in her mind… *Now you're imagining that you're married to him?! What the hell's the matter with you!*

"Mon? You ok?" Her brother's voice brought her out of her thoughts…

"Huh?" She looked around to find that everyone was staring at her… including Chandler.

Chandler smiled when he saw the blush cross her cheeks. He didn't know what it was that had caused the reddening of her face, but she looked so beautiful, he couldn't help but smile…

"I'm fine…" she replied, her reaction delayed, then she continued with what she had been doing…

Everyone shrugged off her odd behavior… except for Chandler. He watched her with greater interest. She'd said everything would be as it was before, but clearly, things were different. She looked at him differently… acted differently around him. He didn't know what to make of it… and her actions intrigued him.

*****

--"Rachel's due back Sunday, right?" Ross asked as he stood and stretched, the ache in his legs reminding him of just how long he'd sat motionless on the couch…

"Yeah…" Monica replied lazily, curled up against Chandler on the couch, watching the movie that signified the start of the onslaught of Christmas movies that would be airing from then till New Years.

"Ok…" he acknowledged her… "It's getting late, so, I'm gonna head home now…"

"Yeah, me too…" Phoebe stood and started looking for her shoes… "Wanna share a cab?"

Ross nodded… "Sure."

Monica and Ross both looked to Joey, who's head was leaning against the back of the chair he was sitting in… snoring lightly as he'd fallen asleep…

Ross threw a handful of popcorn at him to wake him, but it wasn't the salty kernels that jarred him out of his slumber…

"Ross! Don't throw food!" Monica snapped, jumping up from the couch… "It makes a mess!"

Joey yawned and stretched… "The movie over?"

"No…" Ross replied… "But clean-up time is about to begin…" he warned…

Joey's expression turned to that of horror… "Oh! Gotta go!" He jumped up and headed for the door… "Bye!"

They all said their good-byes just before the door slammed shut…

"Ready Pheebs?" Ross asked as he picked up some of the popcorn he'd thrown at Joey, attempting to appease his sister…

"Yep." She grabbed her jacket, then turned to Monica, hugging her… "Thanks for Thanksgiving."

"You're welcome."

"Let's go Christmas shopping tomorrow!" Phoebe suggested excitedly, and Monica chuckled…

"Sure. Sounds fun."

"Let's go Pheebs…" Ross urged as he stood by the door… "Bye Mon. Bye Chandler."

Chandler waved half-heartedly as he continued to watch the movie playing on TV…

--Monica watched Chandler for a moment before moving to clean the mess Ross had made…

"Forget about that for now…" he suggested… "Come finish this movie with me…" He patted the spot on the couch beside him…

She hesitated for a moment, then set the tiny vacuum down and curled up next to him again…

When the commercial came on, she felt him pull her a little tighter to him…

"This is nice…" she whispered, then she waited for what seemed like hours for a response…

"Yeah… it is." he agreed, then kissed her hair…

She hesitated before speaking up again… "About yesterday…"

He stopped her with a sound only Chandler could make… "You promised never to mention it again."

She nodded, knowing he could feel her doing so… "But, how long do we do this?"

"Do what?"

"Pretend there isn't something here." She could hear and feel him hold his breath… "How much longer do we sit this close to one-another… supposedly innocently. How much longer do we gaze at each other… hug each other… support each other… and continue to avoid the deeper meaning behind it all?"

He gulped in air before speaking… "God, Monica, I-- I can't. I would love to… but--" He unwrapped himself from her and stood… "I better go."

She watched him as he grabbed his shoes off the floor and quickly retreated without even once looking back.

--He knew if he looked back, he would do something he regretted. He would take her into his arms and kiss her… he would ruin everything between them. 

His relationship with Monica was unique. He adored her… loved her… he could always count on her. And he was more than happy to return the favor. She was the only woman he'd ever allowed himself to get that close to, and not try and fail to make a relationship out of it. If they tried now, he would screw it up and lose her forever.

No, it was better if they remained friends… so he told himself over and over… in almost a chant-like manner… 'We're better off as friends. We're better off as friends.'

*****

--"Whoa. Wait. Back up…" Rachel was baffled by her friend's admission… "You _think_ you like Chandler? Since when?"

Monica shrugged… "Since Thanksgiving for sure…"

"You go on one little weekend excursion…" Rachel muttered to herself… "Ok, so, what exactly happened on Thanksgiving?"

--Monica recounted the events of the day… and of the next day… and the feelings that went along with those events…

"Huh…" Rachel shook her head… "Ya'know, I've noticed before how close you guys seem. And when I first moved in, I briefly wondered if you two were an item…"

"See?" Monica gestured in agreement… "I think a _lot_ of people would think that! We _act_ like were dating! Except for the sex… he's like my boyfriend!" She sighed as she sipped her tea… "I don't think he wants to be…" she added… "My boyfriend I mean…"

"And that I don't get." Rachel fetched herself some tea and joined Monica at the table… "That Thanksgiving back in '88… he was drooling over you pretty heavy!"

Monica shrugged…

"He was!" Rachel emphasized… "And the way he looks at you. And acts around you… and hugs you. Is there for you. He's _always_ sitting _so_ close to you… or _standing_ close to you. Or--"

"I get the idea Rache…" Monica stopped her… "What's your point?"

"It's just… I woulda thought he was carrying a torch for you or something."

"You know, briefly, I thought maybe he was too. On Thursday… it was something he said…"

"What did he say?"

"I apologized for kissing him, and he'd said something like: 'I'm just sorry it didn't mean anything.' …And when I asked him what he meant by that, he said something about having another reason to hate Thanksgiving… **_if_** I rejected him."

"Rejected him?" Rachel repeated… "He said that?"

Monica nodded… "Yeah. Well, he stopped short, but I'm pretty sure he was going to say 'reject'." She paused in thought for a moment… "Well, I _was_ pretty sure. Now… not so much."

"You need to sit down and talk to him."

"I kinda tried. He didn't want to. He left."

"He's such a man! Running from stuff!" Rachel huffed… "Ugh!"

"I think he might be afraid."

"Afraid?" Rachel chuckled… "Of what?"

"Commitment. He's always been weird about it…" Monica groaned as she moved to pour herself more tea… "His parents really messed him up."

"So…" Rachel broached the obvious question… "What are you going to do now?"

"I have no idea." Monica admitted… "I have no idea…"

*****

--Things between Monica and Chandler were strained over the next several days, and everyone pretty much noticed. Ross and Phoebe figured they'd had a spat or something, but Rachel knew the truth, and Joey was about to…

--"Dude…" Joey approached Chandler with a beer, handing it to him… "What is up with you and Monica?"

Chandler avoided eye contact as he took the beer… "What do you mean?"

"You guys are acting like you had a fight or something. Avoiding each other and stuff…"

He shook his head… "Not really."

"Hey, if you don't wanna talk about it, it's cool. Just thought I'd see if you wanted to or something…"

He took a healthy gulp of his suds, wondering if he should take his friend up on his offer… wondering if it would be a bad thing if he did…

"Can I trust you to keep it between us?" Chandler asked, breaking the brief silence…

Joey nodded… "Sure."

"Ok." Chandler set his beer down on the counter and sat on the barstool at the counter… Joey joined him… "Remember when you first moved in, I told you I liked this one woman, and that there was no way it would ever 'happen' between us?"

Joey squinted as he tried to follow… "Yeah…?"

"I told you we were really close… as friends? And that if it ever got out, how I feel about her, it would ruin everything between us? Make things awkward?"

Joey nodded…

"The woman I was talking about…" he hesitated… "Monica is who I was talking about." After Joey gasped in surprise, Chandler continued… "And on Thanksgiving, the cat sorta got let out of the bag."

Joey scowled… "Cat? What cat?"

Chandler rolled his eyes… "It's an expression, Joe."

Comprehension washed over his face… "Oh! I get it!" he smiled triumphantly, then his expression changed again… "Oh! Oh my God! You and Monica?!"

"Me and Monica, nothing. We _can't_ be anything. If I try to date her, I'll lose her forever."

"You lost me again…"

"I suck at relationships. I ruin them with efficiency! I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to lose her."

"So, now, hang on. So… on Thanksgiving, what happened exactly?"

--Chandler explained the events of the holiday, and the events of the following day, finishing off his beer within a few seconds of finishing his recounting…

"So, now, she knows you like her?" Joey asked, unclear about a few details…

"I don't know. I think so."

"And, how does she feel about you?"

Chandler thought for a moment… "I have no idea."

*****

--It was strained and awkward, but Chandler and Monica forced themselves to be in the same room together, trying to divert suspicion away from their odd behavior. It was Christmas after all, and if they avoided each other on _this_ day, all of their friends would figure that there was something very wrong between the two.

They exchanged gifts, listened to Christmas carols, ate an amazing feast prepared by Monica… and watched the lights on the tree and the candlelight from the Menorah flicker in the nearly-dark, overly-decorated apartment.

Light conversation was had, but mostly, they just sat and enjoyed each other's company as the easy-listening radio station played holiday music commercial free… their gift to their listeners…

"For New Years…" Chandler suggested… "Let's not do the date thing, hmmm? Let's just have it be the six of us… just dinner."

"Well, that's fine by me…" Ross agreed… "Seeing as how I have no one to bring anyway."

"Same here…" Phoebe conceded… 

Joey's face and voice got whiny… "But I _like_ having someone to kiss when the ball drops!"

"Kiss Phoebe." Chandler suggested casually… Phoebe giggled as Joey smiled at her seductively…

"Oh good! Ok!" Rachel interjected… "But, now, Monica can't kiss Ross, cause he's her brother. So… Ross and I will kiss and Chandler and Monica will kiss!"

Ross was secretly excited about that plan, having had a secret crush on Rachel for years… "Sure. Ok." He tried not to sound overly enthusiastic…

Monica glared at Rachel briefly before agreeing… "Fine." She stated simply…

Chandler shifted uncomfortably… "Fine." Chandler agreed…

*****

--The rest of the group had already gone home, or in Rachel's case, to bed… leaving Chandler and Monica alone as she tidied up. She grabbed a trash bag and started collecting bits of balled up wrapping paper that had been ripped from the gifts just hours before, avoiding even acknowledging Chandler's presence…

"Can I help?" He finally broke through the unbearable silence…

"Nah. I have it under control." Monica replied…

He nodded, watching her as she cleaned. Things had been so strained between them during the previous month, and he wondered if it was ever going to get any better…

"Chandler?" Monica's voice pierced his thoughts… "Can you put those dishes in the sink please?"

"Oh, yeah, sure…" He shook his head to clear his mind, then grabbed the dishes off the coffee table… balancing them precariously as he headed for the kitchen…

"Don't drop them."

"I won't." he scoffed, but as he got to the sink, they shifted and he lost control of them. He lunged for the sink, trying to save at least most of them from hitting the floor, but a few crashed to the ground and broke… despite his efforts…

"Oh, God! Are you ok?" Monica asked as she rushed to assess the mess…

He knelt down immediately and started picking up pieces of glass and stoneware… "I think so. God, I'm so sorry I broke your stuff!"

She joined him at the crash site and started to help in picking up the pieces… "It's ok. It was an accident."

Their hands brushed as they both reached for the same piece of debris, and they both froze at the contact…

"Hey…" Rachel exclaimed as she ripped open her bedroom door… "Try to keep it down, huh? People are trying to sleep!" She sleepily stumbled back into her room, closing the door soundly…

Monica and Chandler looked at each other for a moment, then started laughing…

"She doesn't handle being woke up very well, does she?" He asked with a chuckle…

Monica shook her head… "No." she chortled… "You should see her in the morning!"

"Hmmm…" he smiled… "Good to know."

Their smiles faded as they went back to cleaning up the mess…

"Where's your mop?" Chandler asked after all the chunks and shards were tossed in the garbage… "I'll mop the mess…"

"You don't have to…"

"Maybe not…" he agreed… "I want to."

The tension was thick… they both could feel it. Both could feel it strangling them…

She grabbed the mop and handed it to him, then grabbed a bucket and started to fill it with cleaner and warm water…

"I'm sorry things are so weird between us…" Monica stated softly as she set the bucket down on the floor near the area to be cleaned…

"Please, Monica, let's not talk about it." He plunged the mop into the water and wrung it out…

"I think maybe we need to." She winced as she watched his haphazard mopping technique…

"You said we wouldn't have to…" he reminded… "On Thanksgiving…"

"I know I did, but, I think maybe we need to now."

"I don't want to." Chandler countered…

"Why?"

He sighed… "Don't."

"Don't what?" she asked, confused…

"Don't make me do this. Don't make me talk about it. You promised…"

"Chandler, I'm not trying to be mean. I just-- I think we should air some things out--"

"Stop!" he snapped, throwing the mop to the floor… "Does a promise mean nothing to you?!"

She'd never seen him so upset. Well, she had, but never directed at her… "Chandler…?"

"No! You said we didn't have to ever talk about it again! Damn-it Monica! You've ruined everything!"

He stormed out, leaving a confused and distraught Monica behind, staring at the door…

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	3. The One With The New Years Kiss

**__**

The One With The New Years Kiss

Chapter three of: 'TOW The Christmas Strife'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Chandler stood outside Monica's door, slumping against it… he'd yelled at her. God, why did he do that? Why did he yell at her? She didn't deserve that.

He contemplated whether or not to go back in and apologize, but decided against it rather quickly…

*She hates you now…* he told himself… *And with good reason. It's better this way.* he rationalized… *She'll forgive you in a few days, or weeks, then everything will be back to normal…*

He started to move off the door, having been leaning on it while in thought, but before he could shift his weight, the support left from behind him and he went crashing to the floor.

Monica immediately dropped to her knees, placing her hand on his shoulder… "Oh my God! Chandler, I'm so sorry!"

He just looked at her, unmoving… not talking…

"Chandler, say something."

"Were you crying?"

It was then that she realized that she hadn't wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks before opening the door. She hadn't expected to be seeing Chandler flat on his back, staring up at her… she thought she would have a moment to collect herself before knocking on his door…

She averted her eyes as she wiped at her face, then grasped his arm near his elbow… for balance… "Let me help you up…"

He groaned as he moved, allowing her to help. Ross was right, she WAS freakishly strong.

She helped him to the couch and he eased down to the cushions with a sigh.

She sat beside him nervously, at the edge of the couch, waiting for him to speak…

"It's going to be awkward…" he spoke up finally… "If we don't talk about stuff… isn't it?"

She nodded… "I'm afraid so."

He saw a new tear fall down her face and he wiped it away with his thumb… oh-so gently… "What happened? Between us?"

"We questioned the line… between friendship and… MORE… I think…"

He nodded… "I am so sorry I made you cry. God, I never wanted to hurt you."

"I'm fine. But, I do think we need to talk about this."

He nodded again. "You go first."

She chuckled… "There were a few things said… and I guess I thought that… maybe…"

"Maybe what?" he asked softly…

"That maybe you too had considered crossing **_the line_**…"

He looked at her with questioning eyes… "Too?"

"I don't know when it happened exactly, but, I started thinking… maybe…"

"Right…" he cut her off. He had to cut her off. If she finished the sentence, he would yearn… moreso than he already was…

"So… have you? Thought about crossing that line I mean…"

He didn't reply right away… he didn't want to answer her. Didn't want to admit it out loud. But he knew he had to. They had to 'air things out', as Monica had said. He just wanted their relationship back the way it was… and if it meant humiliating himself, he would have to do it…

"Yes…" he replied quietly… "But…"

"But?" she repeated in the form of a question…

"We can't cross the line."

She nodded… "Ok. Can I ask why?"

He sighed, swallowed his fear, and faced her… "I love you Monica. I really do. You are my best friend. I couldn't imagine my life without you." He paused for a moment before continuing… "And that's why I can't date you. If I try to date you, I will lose you. Alienate you. Hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself then…"

"How can you be so sure?"

He looked at her with a sideways glance of skepticism… "You know me Monica. You look in the dictionary under failure and you'll find my picture."

She scowled… "You're not a failure, Chandler."

"I am at relationships."

"Maybe _this_ would be different?" She gestured between the two of them…

"I can't take that chance." he stated solemnly… "I care too much about you to risk your heart… or mine."

"What if I'm willing to take the risk?"

He shook his head… "I'm not."

"Fair enough." She couldn't hide her disappointment, and he gathered her in his arms as a tear splashed down her face…

"Please don't cry over me, Monica. I'm not worth it."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." She sniffled as she allowed his embrace to comfort her…

"I only give credit where credit is due…" he quipped half-heartedly, stroking her hair as he held her… "It's not like I'm heading off to war… or dying…" he muttered, confused by her reaction… "We'll still see each other every day…"

"I know…" she acknowledged as she pulled away… "I just feel like something that _could've_ been amazing ended before it ever began. It's sad…" she wiped away her tears with a kleenex he provided… "Or maybe it's just cause I'm on my period." she quipped…

He wrinkled his nose, but couldn't help but chuckle… "Too much info there, Mon…"

She smiled… "Yeah. Sorry."

"S'ok…" He watched her for a moment as she attempted to regroup… "So, we ok?"

"Yeah…" she nodded… "We're fine."

"You don't hate me?"

"Of course not." She assured him… "I understand your reasons. I may not completely agree with them, but I understand them."

He nodded and smiled… "It's better this way."

She smiled… "Ok…"

"We're still on for New Years, right?" he asked…

"The kiss?"

He nodded… "Yeah."

"Yeah, I don't see the harm in that."

He scoffed… "I do."

"But you still want to do it?"

"Yeah. Kinda symbolic. Like, the start of a new year, and our friendship is solid and secure and the kiss proves that."

"Alright…" she shook her head… "I kinda follow you there… but, aren't you afraid of the feelings it could dredge up?"

"The 'old' Chandler and Monica coulda handled a friendly kiss, no problem. I want things to be the way they were."

"And kissing will prove that to be possible?"

He nodded… "Yep. I think…"

"Ok…" she shrugged… "I'll kiss you at midnight on New Year's Eve then…"

"You don't have to make it sound like such a chore!" he snipped jokingly…

"Yeah, well, you didn't have to yell at me…" she joked, pretending to be upset…

He could tell she was just playing, and he smiled… "And this is where I say goodnight…" He struggled to stand, his back still hurting… "I think you killed my back."

"I wasn't expecting you to be leaning against my door…" she defended herself…

"Yeah…"

"Why were you anyway?"

"I was struggling with whether or not to come in and apologize to you…" he continued towards the door… "For yelling at you…"

"Ah."

With his hand on the doorknob, he turned just slightly… she could see him in profile… "Night, Mon."

"Night…" she nodded… "And Merry Christmas."

As he turned a little further, Monica could see a small smile crack across his face… "Happy Hanukah." He walked out the door and closed it softly, the click of the latch almost sounding eerily loud to Monica, who stood rooted in place for several minutes, staring at the door before finally moving to finish cleaning.

*****

--Minutes before the ball would be dropping, and Chandler and Monica were both stealing nervous glances at one-another. The friends watched the TV, waiting for the pivotal moment, all but two aware of the tension between the two friends who's friendship had suffered strain over the previous month.

Rachel and Joey both knew, to some extent, the anxieties between them because Monica had confided in Rachel and Chandler in Joey, but Ross and Phoebe were oblivious. Ross because he was excited about kissing Rachel, his secret crush, and Phoebe cause she was… well… Phoebe.

Joey and Phoebe shared a smile as the moment was upon them… Ross was counting down enthusiastically, and Rachel chuckled at how adorable and boyish he was being… Chandler and Monica just stared intently at the other…

"Six… five… four… three… two… ONE!" Ross announced, then leaned in to kiss Rachel…

Phoebe blew on her little noise maker before Joey kissed her…

Chandler smiled awkwardly, then closed the gap between him and Monica, touching his lips lightly to hers.

It felt better than he'd prepared himself for… her lips so soft, and she kissed him back in a way that let him know her feelings for him…

The soft moan that escaped her lips was involuntary, and only heard by Chandler as the noise from the TV drowned out the sound…

Phoebe and Joey were the first to break, their kiss soft and brief… he looked at her expectantly…

She smiled… "_Happy New Year_…" she uttered, her tone indicating the kiss was good…

He nodded emphatically, pleased by her reaction… "Yeah baby!"

Chandler and Monica were the next to break. The kiss had been more than friendly, but by no means the passionate kiss Monica wanted and Chandler knew to be a bad idea.

He touched her face gently, then smiled… "Happy New Year, Mon…"

She nodded, tears welling she refused to allow to fall… "Happy New Year, Chandler." She took his hand from her face and held it, giving it a squeeze.

Ross and Rachel were the last to break, and as Ross slowly backed away from her, he noticed she looked flushed…

She looked around the room at nothing in particular before looking into Ross' eyes. She stammered, trying to gather her thoughts…

"Uh… Happy New Year… uh… Ross."

He smiled… "Happy New Year, Rache."

Everyone's attention moved to the blushing twosome…

"Need us to leave you two alone?" Chandler quipped…

Ross shot him a 'look'… "Shut up, k man?"

"Sorry…"

"Ummm…" Rachel muttered… "I think I need some air…" she stood… "Excuse me." She headed for the balcony, and everyone looked at Ross as he watched her leave…

"I'm gonna go talk to her…" Ross stated quietly, more to himself than to anyone else. He followed her onto the balcony…

"Whoa…" Joey shook his head… "Intense."

Phoebe nodded… "Yeah. Think I'm gonna go. Let them have some privacy…"

"I'll take you home…" Joey offered… "After midnight on New Years… could be iffy as far as drunks and weirdoes…"

Phoebe smiled and touched his face… "Thanks." She turned to Monica… "Great party, Mon."

Monica nodded as she walked Phoebe and Joey to the door… "Thanks."

Phoebe leaned in… "Let me know what's going on…" she requested sotto, gesturing towards the balcony… "If you find out anything."

Monica smiled weakly, her mind on other things… "Ok."

"See'ya in a bit, man…" Joey told Chandler, who simply acknowledged his friend with an up-nod…

And then it was just Chandler and Monica alone in the apartment… Ross and Rachel having their own situation going on out on the balcony…

"Let's go over to my apartment…" Chandler suggested… "Joey'll be a while. And it'll give them," he gestured towards the balcony… "Some privacy."

She nodded… "Ok."

--They entered his apartment, and Chandler immediately grabbed a beer out of the fridge, hoping the affects of alcohol would relax him.

"Want one?" he asked, holding up his beer… she shook her head 'no'.

He twisted off the top and took a swig, but when he turned to toss the cap into the garbage, she threw her arms around him and pressed her lips soundly to his…

He was shocked, but kissed back, her lips too perfect to ignore. He wrapped his arm around her, his cold beer chilling her back as the kiss grew in intensity.

Without breaking the kiss he reached out blindly towards the counter and fumbled with placing the bottle down so he could free his hand. Once the beer was safely situated, his now-empty hand flew to her hair, holding her firmly as his other hand wandered her form…

He took the opportunity to speak when her lips left his in search of his ear and neck… "We shouldn't be doing this…"

"I don't care." She replied…

"It'll be harder…"

"I don't care…" she repeated…

"I can't be in a relationship with you…"

"I don't care."

"Is there anything you DO care about?"

She sucked on the taught skin of his neck, giving him a slight hickey, causing him to moan… "I care about you…" she breathed, peppering his skin with kisses as she inched her hands up under his shirt hem… "Make love to me Chandler. Just tonight. Please."

"It'll be harder…" he repeated…

"Please?" she pleaded, ignoring his warning, and he sighed… 

He couldn't refuse her. His mind AND his body wouldn't let him. He gathered her into his arms and carried her to his room.

*****

--"That was a mistake…" Chandler sighed as he held a naked Monica close to his sweaty body… "It was a nice mistake, but it was a mistake."

"I don't care." She whispered, kissing his chest… "And thank you."

"God, don't thank me! If I'd been stronger, we never would have made this mistake… and I wouldn't have to hurt you…"

"You don't have to hurt me." She reminded him…

"I can't date you Monica. We won't work. You deserve better than me anyway…"

"I should be the one to decide who I deserve."

He sighed, rubbing her arm… "I know it's your decision, but, you know as well as I do how disastrous we would be together. I'm not even sure if I CAN have a normal, healthy relationship."

She scoffed… "Of course you can! It might take a bit more work, but, I know you COULD… if you wanted to…" There was a touch of sadness to her voice…

"I WANT to, Mon, believe me. Who _wouldn't_ want you?! You are amazing! But, I know how this will end. It'll end with me freaking about commitment, you being pissed that you wasted your time and energy on me, and us not being able to stand being in the same room together. Like you and Kip. We'll fall away from one-another… it'll mess up the wonderful group of friends we have…" he paused to kiss her shoulder… "You know as well as I do, this just won't work." He moved to look into her tear filled eyes… "You know I'm right."

She nodded… "I know you are. I don't like it, but I know it."

"I'm so sorry…"

She nodded… "Maybe, later in life--"

"Don't think about that now. We don't know what the future holds. Well, except for maybe Phoebe…" He chuckled when she did… "Still, you'll meet a great guy, and forget all about these feelings…"

"And you'll meet some woman and forget about me…"

"Doubtful."

"Which is doubtful?"

"Both."

"You will. You'll meet some woman who will finally help you get over all your weird commitment crap, and you'll fall in love and get married…"

He groaned at her words… "Please, Monica, that's a world away… a _galaxy_ away! Far, FAR away."

"You're thinking you'll never get married?"

"I don't know. I know I can't imagine it right now, but, later… I don't honestly know."

"Can I ask you a question?"

He laughed… "After what just happened between us… it's not like we have any secrets anymore…"

She smiled… "And that kinda leads me to my question…" She fluctuated her weight, supporting herself on her elbow which was digging into the mattress… "Would you be willing to… **_go_**… again?"

"Again? Really? I didn't suck?"

She laughed at his choice of words… "Well, just that one time, when you went south…"

He shook his head, his smile broadening… "You know what I mean…"

"I do, and you didn't. And I know the whole 'it'll make it harder' speech… but, I want you again. Please?"

"God, why am I saying 'no' to a relationship with you again?"

"Cause, you're afraid you'll end up hurting me and losing me as a friend…"

"Right." He kissed her lips, softly, then with growing passion… "You're sure?"

She nodded, then pulled his lips back to hers…

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	4. The One With The Baby Blues

**__**

The One With The Baby Blues

Chapter four

Continued from: 'TOW The New Years Kiss'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Months went by, and never once was that night mentioned. Chandler and Monica thought it best to keep what had happened that New Years Eve between them, not even confiding in Joey or Rachel that they had made love three times, then talked till the early morning hours before Monica finally dressed and left.

--Things had been awkward between them at first, but things eventually got back to normal between the two friends… especially in the light of the budding relationship between Ross and Rachel.

--Their New Years Eve kiss had sparked something in Rachel… and Ross had already been harboring feelings for her for years. They went out on to the balcony to talk, and Ross finally gathered the courage to tell her about his secret feelings when she admitted that the kiss stirred something in her.

When Monica had sneaked in to her apartment super early that New Years day, she found Ross' jacket still there, him nowhere to be found, and Rachel in the kitchen toasting pop-tarts and pouring orange juice…

--"Hey! Where have you been?" Rachel asked as she pushed the button down on the toaster, the pop-up pastries disappearing as she did…

"I was over at Chandler's." Monica replied truthfully…

"What were you doing over there all this time?"

Monica squirmed uncomfortably… "Talking… mostly…" She gestured to her brother's coat… "Ross still here?"

Rachel smiled… "Yeah. He's in my room."

Monica raised an eyebrow at that statement… "What?"

"Oh, Monica, it's been the most incredible night!" Rachel gushed… "Ross told me tonight, that he's in love with me!"

"What?!"

"You didn't know?" Rachel thought that maybe, since they were related, that she might…

"No I didn't know! Oh my God!"

"I know!" Rachel giggled like a school girl, then grabbed the pop-tarts out of the toaster when they popped up… "We've been getting better… **acquainted**…" she raised her eyebrows suggestively as she gestured towards her bedroom…

--Monica didn't feel right talking about what had happened between her and Chandler. It would put a damper on Rachel's good mood, so, she forced feelings of sadness and jealousy down deep and congratulated her friend before retreating to her room to cry herself into a restless sleep.

--And the months straggled on… and Ross and Rachel became closer and closer… and Chandler and Monica slowly became the friends they once were. And all was fine… until…

*****

--Ross was frantic, and Rachel was trying to get him to calm down as all their friends gathered around, offering words of encouragement…

"It's her first baby…" Phoebe offered… "They always take a while. She'll be here."

"She'll be here." Monica repeated…

"My ex-wife is having my baby and I have no idea where she is!" Ross exclaimed, still near hysteria… "What if she gives birth in the cab and I miss everything?"

Rachel physically stopped him from moving and wrapped her arms around him… "Calm down. Everything is gonna be fine, alright? Breathe."

Ross nodded… "Breathe."

They all repeated the word soothingly, seeing that it'd had a calming affect on him when Rachel had done it…

--When Carol was wheeled into the main lobby, Ross instantly geared back up again…

"You're here! Where were you?! Why didn't you come right away?! Did you have him yet?! Where is he?!"

Carol looked at Rachel and Rachel smiled apologetically…

"Ross, honey, let's let Carol get situated in her room so the DR can examine her while we go sit in these little plastic chairs and breathe. Remember? Breathe…" She drug out the word 'breathe' in an attempt to calm him again, and he reluctantly followed her to the waiting chairs as she repeated the word over and over…

Monica smiled at Rachel as their eyes caught, then pointed at the cafeteria and mouthed the words 'coffee'. Rachel nodded her approval.

"Come on." Monica told Chandler…

"Where we going?"

"To go get coffee."

Chandler chortled… "Make Ross' a decaf."

--As Chandler helped Monica pour the coffee, he couldn't help but notice that she seemed down…

"Hey, you ok?"

She shrugged… "Yeah."

"You don't seem ok. You act like something's wrong."

She silently shook her head.

Chandler put his hand on her shoulder and she froze… "Talk to me Mon, I'm your friend."

"I know you are. I just-- I'm not so sure it's such a good idea to talk to you about **this**."

"You can talk to me about anything." He took the tray of coffees out of her hands, placing it on a nearby table, then he gestured for her to sit down.

Reluctantly, she did, and he joined her, taking her hand in his…

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just-- I see them together--"

"Ross and Rachel?" he asked to confirm…

Monica nodded… "Yeah. And I'm so happy for them. I really am. But…"

"But…?"

"But, I also feel jealous. I want what they have. I want to be in a relationship. I want a family and a baby. And that's like, **right there** for them…" she sighed as she continued to study the formica tabletop… "And I'm not even close."

"One day, it'll happen for you." Chandler assured her…

"How can you be so sure?"

"Tell you what. If for some strange reason it **doesn't **happen for you by the time we're 40… we'll get married and have a kid."

She looked up at him, her expression hard to read… "I don't want your pity Chandler…" she scowled… "Besides, I thought you didn't **want** to **be** with me…"

He sighed… "No, I said I **couldn't **be with you. There's a difference."

"A very little difference."

"I don't want to fight with you, Mon. I just-- I hoped to help you feel better…" He stood to leave, but she reached out and grabbed his hand, stopping him…

"Thanks."

He smiled… "You're welcome."

*****

--She only called to update her on her grandchild, but Monica's mom wouldn't leave it be. She had to question and pester and ridicule… harping on Monica to find a man, settle down, get married, and give her a grandchild **in** wedlock.

"Mom, would you **stop**?! I'm only 26! I'm not even thinking about babies right now!"

Just then a mom with her brand new baby rolled by in a wheelchair and Monica found her voice gone as she started to cry…

Chandler, seeing her distress, grabbed the phone and made a sound similar to static, hoping to fool her mom into thinking the connection had been lost, then hung up the phone. He wrapped an arm around Monica and led her towards the cafeteria again…

--"She makes it worse…" Monica squeaked out, and Chandler nodded…

"I know."

"I'm sorry for dumping on you all the time…"

"We're there for each other. I don't mind. I just wish I could fix your hurt."

"Maybe you can…"

"Anything I can do, I will. You know that." He replied sincerely…

"Come over tonight." She sensed he was about to say 'no', so she rushed on… "I know the speech already, Chandler, I just-- I really need… something."

"You're killing me, Mon, you know that… right? I don't know how much longer I can say 'no' to you…"

"Don't say 'no'. No strings. No relationship. Just me and you and physical intimacy." She reached over and stroked his thigh, inciting a low moan from him… "Please. I need you."

"We shouldn't. I should say 'no'. I should stop this from going any further… before I lose all common sense…"

"I'm not looking for a commitment. I know you're not prepared for that. But, I trust you. You're good and kind and safe and sweet. I just really need this right now, Chandler." She leaned in as she continued to caress his leg, then licked his lips… "Please say 'yes'."

He closed his eyes, a look that was almost pained crossing his face… and he nodded.

"We'll wait till Carol has the baby. Or, if it gets real late, we'll duck out. No one will mind. Rachel told me she's going straight to Ross' after this… we'll have the place to ourselves."

He nodded again… "Alright. But only cause I don't want you going out and finding some one-night-stand to 'scratch the itch'."

She smiled, inching further up his leg till her finger brushed his groin… "Thanks Chandler." 

Abruptly, she took her hand away, and his eyes flew open to find her standing, extending her hand, smiling as he stood and grasped her petite hand in his.

He knew he should've said 'no'. He knew it would be another several months before they would reach any sense of normalcy again… but, he found he couldn't say 'no'. He wanted her too.

*God help me…* he prayed silently as they walked hand in hand back out to the waiting area… *I don't want to hurt her, but this is going to end in heartache, for one of us, isn't it?* He squeezed her hand just a little tighter before letting it go as their friends came into view…

"She's having him now!" Phoebe exclaimed… "They just told us all to get out!"

"Except for Susan and Ross…" Rachel added…

*****

--Little Ben was beautiful, and Monica hogged everyone's turn, holding him as long as possible… tears falling down her cheeks as she sniffed his sweet head…

He tried to open his eyes, but being only hours old, the action took effort for the tiny baby…

"Hi Ben. Hi!" she spoke softly, in a high-pitched 'talking-to-a-baby' tone of voice… "I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica!" she sniffled softly, holding this newborn infant bringing out a need in her… "I will always have gum." She added, then handed him back to Ross so she could wipe her face…

"I'm gonna take Monica home now…" Chandler informed, gesturing at her, indicating that she was falling apart. Everyone nodded and agreed without giving it a second thought.

*****

--Chandler put his arm around Monica as they walked from the cab to her apartment, only letting go when she struggled to unlock the door…

She opened the door with a fling, allowing it to hit the counter on the other side, not caring at all that it set the glass 'face-vase', as Chandler called it, off balance. He reached out to steady it, then turned and closed the door…

"You alright?"

"No." she replied simply. "No I'm not. What is wrong with me?!"

"That's a loaded question." Chandler quipped, trying to lighten the mood…

"No jokes, Chandler. Seriously. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you, Mon."

"Then why can't I find love? And marriage! And kids! And happiness!"

"You will."

"You **love** to just answer with what people want to hear, don't you?" she challenged him… "But, you don't know! You can't promise!"

He looked to the ground as he shuffled his feet… "No, you're right. I can't."

"See?! You admit it!"

He sighed… "Maybe I should go…"

She lurched for him, but stopped short of actually touching him… "Please don't go. I'm sorry. I'm just-- I'm just really…"

"Sad." He finished her sentence, and she nodded… "I'll stay, but, with you in this condition, I don't think we should sleep together."

"Don't take your offer back now. I need you…"

"You don't need me. You need to feel loved and desired. I'm just… convenient."

"I can't win with you!" she snapped… "If I tell you I just want no-strings sex, then you accuse me of feeling nothing for you. If I tell you how I **really** feel about you, you won't have sex with me cause it'll 'complicate things'!"

"How **do** you really feel about me?" he asked, regretting having done so the second the last word left his mouth…

"I'm in love with you, Chandler."

He closed his eyes for a moment, then moved to sit on the couch…

"Nothing's changed… since New Years. I still can't be the person you need and deserve. I **can't** be in a relationship with you. I **can't**."

"I'm not asking you to be. I'm just asking you to make love to me. Tomorrow, it'll have never happened. But tonight… please…" she sat next to him on the couch… "Just-- Just tonight."

"The more we do this, the harder it becomes."

"I know. You're like a drug. I need a Chandler-patch."

He laughed, then placed his hand on her cheek… "Just tonight. And, God, please be sure. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm sure. I'm going into this with total understanding that this doesn't go beyond tonight."

He nodded, then leaned in and kissed her. It started with a touch of apprehension, but that quickly dissolved, and before they knew it, they were stripping each other frantically and heading for her room.

They made love till exhaustion, then snuggled together in bed till dawn…

--His movements as he climbed out of bed woke her from her sound sleep, and she yawned as she sat partially upright…

"Leaving already?"

He nodded… "Joey will wonder where I've been."

"What will you tell him."

"That I spent the night with you cause you were sad."

She nodded… "Ok." She hesitated… "Chandler? Thanks for last night."

He continued to get dressed, avoiding eye contact… "You're welcome."

"Are you mad at me now? Cause I seduced you?"

He shook his head… "I'm mad at myself for having no willpower."

"I'll never ask for this again…" she told him somberly… "I know how you struggle with your conscience over this."

He stopped what he was doing, his gaze remaining on the floor till he slowly moved to sit next to Monica on her side of the bed…

"Last night was incredible. Absolutely incredible. This has **nothing** to do with you and your… desirability. It's me. It's all me and my weird hang-ups and shit, ok? Remember that."

"I know. I will."

He grabbed his socks and shoes, then kissed her quick… "I'll see'ya in a few hours…"

"Ok."

--And he walked out the door. He fought the overwhelming urge to go back in to her… to hold her and make love to her again and stay in her arms all day long. He knew he couldn't, although the reasons why seemed to be losing their substantiality.

--He entered his apartment and moved quickly to shower… the smell of her on him causing his dissolve to weaken further…

"That's the last time…" he whispered to himself as he turned the shower on… "The last time. If she asks again, you say 'no'. You have to say 'no'." He stepped into the stream of warm water and sighed… "It's getting too dangerous…" he added to his previous thoughts, then washed away the physical traces of his last night with Monica.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	5. The One Where Chandler Does Some Thinkin...

**__**

The One Where Chandler Does Some Thinking

Chapter Five

Continued from: 'TOW The Baby Blues'

*****~*****

--They couldn't believe it. They had just been arguing with him not hours before… now, he was being wheeled out on a gurney. Covered with a sheet… dead.

"How'd this happen?" Rachel asked Treeger, the superintendent of the building…

"He musta been sweeping." Treeger replied… "They found a broom in his hand."

The gang all shared looks, knowing the broom had been used to bang on **his** ceiling, **their** floor."

"Poor Mr. Heckles…" Monica whispered sadly after Treeger turned to leave, following the paramedics out… "We killed him."

"We are **not** to blame, Monica… ok?" Ross assured her… "No one **made** him pick up the broom and knock it into the ceiling **repeatedly**. It's sad, but it's no one's fault. It's just, the circle of life…"

"Ok, if he starts singing that song again, I'm outta here." Chandler informed as they all started walking back to Monica's apartment…

"The song has a point though…" Ross added, and Chandler sprinted up ahead…

"Bye. See'ya later."

*****

--"He hated us!" Monica exclaimed as she and the other five of the group stood in the middle of Mr. Heckles livingroom… "Why else would he leave all this **crap** to us in his will!"

"He didn't even know our names!" Rachel added, equally as disgusted with the chore ahead of them…

"Sure he did…" Chandler interjected… "You were 'noisy girl #1'…" he gestured to Monica… "And you were 'noisy girl #2'." he said to Rachel, his usual smirk on his face…

"Yeah, well, I say we just bag all this crap up and give it to the homeless or something." Rachel wrinkled her nose as she poked at a stack of newspapers, wincing as they teetered precariously…

"What'd the homeless ever do to you?" Chandler asked jokingly, only to get glared at… "Shutting up now." He ducked away from Rachel's glare by heading into Heckles bedroom…

--Monica was only half aware of the argument between Phoebe and Ross about evolution… 'fact or myth'… she was too busy with the enormous task of cleaning out the overwhelming amount of crap. She'd already filled 2 trash bags and was ready to start her third, looking around for the box of large 'Glad' bags…

"Where's the box of trash bags?" she asked no one in particular. Upon getting no answer, she wandered into the bedroom to see if they'd been moved in there. What she found instead was Chandler, sitting on the edge of Mr. Heckles bed, looking through a shoebox of pictures and stuff…

"Hey." Monica gained his attention, and he looked to her abruptly before looking back at his find…

"C'mere a sec, Mon…" he asked of her, and she joined him on the bed… "I found this…" He put down the small box and picked up a large leather-bound book…

"His yearbook?"

"Yeah. Look…" he opened it to a page where one of his school chums had signed the book… "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school." Chandler read the inscription out loud, then flipped to another page… "He was voted class clown, and so was I. He played clarinet in band and so did I."

She was trying to understand what he was getting at… "Ok…"

He sighed, exasperated, then grabbed the shoebox again… "Then I found this." He started rummaging through the box, then pulled out a picture… "He wrote stuff on the back of every one of these…" he told her… "These are all the women he went out with. 'Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud! Too smart! Makes noises while she eats!' This is me, Mon! This is what I do! I reject any woman who is crazy enough to go out with me, bitch about not being ready for commitment, then drive them away!" He tossed the box to the bed, some of the pictures flying out… some hitting the floor… "I'm gonna die alone!"

"No, you won't. Remember? When we're 40?" Monica reminded him… "If neither of us are married or dating seriously…"

"You will be! You'll get married long before you're 40! And I'll be alone! Bitter and alone! I'll be like one of those old guys who keeps yelling at the neighborhood kids to '**get off my lawn**!'…"

"Chandler…" Monica wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him in for a hug… "You are **not** Heckles, ok?"

He shrugged out of her embrace… "I think I need to be alone…"

She watched him as he walked out of the room, then turned to locate what she had gone in there for in the first place… the trash bags.

*****

--Chandler had made himself scarce all day, but just after dinner time, he showed up again…

"Hey! I was wondering where you'd gone…" Monica greeted him… "Hungry? I saved you a plate…"

He shook his head… "No thanks. Where is everyone?"

"Rachel is at Ross', and Phoebe and Joey went to the movies."

He nodded, then headed for the couch… "Can we… talk?"

She dropped the dishrag she had been using to dry the dishes on the counter before joining him on the couch… "What's up?"

He paused before finally breaking the minute-long silence… "This Heckles thing really has me bothered."

She rubbed his arm in support… "I'm sorry. You know though, you shouldn't compare yourself to him…"

He shrugged… "I don't want to end up alone, Mon. I didn't used to think that far ahead, but, I'm thinking now."

"Ok…"

"I'm not saying I want to get married tomorrow… but… someday…"

"That's good. That you've given your future some thought."

"I guess…"

"Chandler, it's normal to question your own mortality when someone you know dies."

"Yeah…" he shrugged… "But it's not **just** my mortality. I question, what am I doing with my life? How does my presence affect others? Ya'know what I mean?"

"Yeah. I do."

She sensed what he needed, and she placed her finger under his chin and lifted his face, staring into his eyes. There was a look that passed between them, and she smiled as she leaned in and kissed his lips softly. 

Instantly, he gathered her into his arms, the kiss turning passionate as they both expressed their needs without words.

She whipped her shirt off, and his hands moved to touch her bare skin as she climbed into his lap… but then suddenly, he stopped cold…

"I can't do this to you." He gently pushed her off his lap…

She allowed him to move her, climbing off and sitting next to him… "Chandler, you've been there for me… twice now. I want to do this."

"I don't know if I can walk away this time." He whispered, his voice strained with emotion…

"You don't have to. But you can if you need to. This will just be about tonight." She kissed his cheek, then moved to his ear… "I know you're hurting…" she whispered… "Let me soothe it."

He groaned as he struggled to remove his clothes… and she followed suit, removing the remainder of her clothing. They never made it to the bedroom. They made love on the couch… nearly in front of the large bay windows that looked out onto the building across the way. Luckily, no one saw anything.

*****

--"I can't date you…" he told her as he feverishly kissed her lips, moving along her jawline to her neck… "I want more than anything to get over this fear…" he suckled on her neck before continuing… "But it's still there…"

She moaned from the sensations he was creating… "I know, sweetie… I know."

The sun peeking into the room meant it would be dangerous for him to stay much longer. There would be too many unanswerable questions if they were to get caught together...

"I wish it didn't have to be like this…" he murmured, still kissing her as his hands wandered her naked body…

"You have baggage." she replied… "We all do… yours is holding you back **now** from having a serious relationship." She lightly bit his neck in response to the hickey he was giving her… "Eventually, you'll get over that fear, and any woman would be lucky to have you then."

"One more time…" he breathed… "I want you one more time. Then I'll go."

She nodded…

And they made love for the third time in less than 8 hours.

*****~*****

--Several weeks had passed, all having returned to normal quickly. Quicker than ever before. By the following day actually. 

--With his new interest in getting over his commitment fears, when a co-worker invited Chandler to a singles party, he jumped at the chance to go.

He struck out… big time. No one even talked to him…

"What is it about me?" he asked his friends… "Is there something repellant about me?"

They all answered with a resounding 'no'.

"No, Chandler, you are **very** attractive…" Phoebe assured him… "I go through the same thing whenever I pick up a few pounds, and I--"

"Whoa!" he interrupted her… "I've picked up weight?"

Phoebe froze… she hadn't meant to insult him… "No, no… not **weight**. More like… insulation!"

Chandler grimaced and dropped the handful of popcorn he had picked up to nibble on back into the bowl…

"Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project…" Monica offered… "Let me remake you."

He smiled at her choice of words, no one 'getting' the inside joke except the two of them… "I don't know. I think it might cut into my very busy schedule of lying around and watching TV."

"Oh, c'mon!" Monica whined…

"Just let her do this, Chandler!" Rachel interjected… "What's the worst that could happen?"

He didn't even want to think about the possible answers to that question.

*****

--She was annoying him to no end… and he had the most overwhelming urge to just tell her to forget it, and then where to shove her exercise program, but he couldn't. Since she'd lost her job, she'd been kind of down… and the sparkle had left her eyes. With this, the sparkle had returned. He loved her eyes, and would endure anything to keep the twinkle in them, so, he drudged on…

--"Five more!" she ordered him as she sat on his feet, watching as he struggled to do even a few sit-ups…

"I can't." he panted for air…

"Yes you can! Five more!"

"No!"

"Five more and I'll flash you."

He shook his head… "Already seen 'em."

She smacked him lightly… "Tell me, what will it take to get five more sit-ups out of you?"

"A shower." He replied weakly…

"You can take a shower after we exercise." she replied, not understanding his request…

"A shower… with **you**."

She just looked at him for a moment, her expression a slight scowl… "What?"

He moved his arms and propped himself up on his elbows to see her better… "Do you have any idea how incredibly **hot** you are when you're exercising?"

She smiled… "Yeah?"

He smiled… "**Incredibly** hot…" he repeated… "So, what do you say?"

"You know, we're kinda making a habit out of this…"

"Is that a 'yes'."

"Can I ask… what changed?"

He dropped back to the floor and shrugged… "I don't know. I know I still can't make a relationship work, but, the occasional **romp** with you has been…"

"Incredible?" she finished his sentence, and he nodded…

"You think I'm a pervert now, don'tcha?"

"No. Of course not. We both have needs… there's no one in our lives currently to fulfill those needs…"

"And we're… compatible. **I** think."

"Oh yeah…" she agreed… "**Very**."

"I don't want to hurt you, and I sure don't want to be getting hurt… but as long as we both agree to the terms…"

"No strings. Just sex." She stated the terms…

"Right. Then, what's the harm?"

"Five more, and I'll shower with you." She grinned, tapping his knees…

He smiled in return, then gathered his strength to pull out five more sit-ups.

--Chandler locked and bolted the door, just in case Joey showed up unexpected, then turned to Monica…

"Shall we?" he gestured towards the bathroom, and she smiled as she removed her shirt…

He adjusted the temperature first, then stripped naked, his body already responding to her naked sweaty form.

Wordlessly, they both entered the shower, and Chandler immediately grabbed for the bar of soap. He watched in awe as she tilted her head back, allowing the warm water to cascade down her tired body.

He soaped up his hands, then ran them all over her, enjoying her little sighs of pleasure. When he was done, she returned the favor, soaping his body everywhere, smiling as he tried to keep balance when his eyes drifted shut.

They kissed, and fondled, but they didn't have sex. After the shower, they dried off… Chandler got dressed, then gave Monica his robe to wear so she could walk across the hall to get new clothes without having to put on the sweaty ones from their workout…

And that was that. That was all he'd wanted. He just wanted to feel her naked skin… feel that connection to her that had been forming since that Thanksgiving kiss.

--They smiled at each other discreetly a few times as the gang all gathered for dinner, but other than that, there was no indication that anything out of the ordinary was happening between the two friends.

*****~*****

--Chandler was comfortable. He never wanted to leave his new chair, **ever**… except to go to the bathroom.

Joey finally had a few bucks to spend, having finally landed a decent role in Days Of Our Lives… so to celebrate, he bought brand new twin recliners and a new large-screen TV.

The two roommates were in heaven. **Nothing** was gonna get them out of their chairs. A fire? Firemen would drag them out. Flood? They were high enough up… they'd probably barely get wet. Nope… nothing was gonna get them out of those chairs… except…

--"Chandler? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Monica asked, her tone sounding serious…

Chandler didn't even pause to think. He was out of the chair in a flash, following her out into the hall…

Monica looked up and down the hall to be sure no one was there before she began…

"I'm going out on a date tonight…" she told him…

"Ok."

She sighed… "I think this might… really **go** somewhere…" she elaborated, waiting for a response…

His facial expression changed… "Oh."

"I know we said we weren't… **you** know. But, I felt like I owed it to you to tell you about it."

He nodded… "Ok. Thanks."

"Are you ok with this?"

"I told you I couldn't date you… you have every right to go out there and find happiness." He managed a smile, and was able to hide the pain inside through the smile she believed to be genuine…

"Thanks Chandler." She hugged him… "Have fun with your new stuff!"

He nodded, then watched as she disappeared into her apartment.

The smile dropped from his face, and he forced himself **not** to run into her apartment after her and beg her not to go on the date…

"You can't do that…" he told himself… "You won't commit, so, she's not yours to keep."

He stared at the floor for a few moments, then kicked at the wall before walking back into his apartment.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	6. The One Where Ross & Rachel Fight

**__**

The One Where Ross & Rachel Fight

Chapter Six

Continued from: 'TOW Chandler Does Some Thinking'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--He didn't want to like Richard, but the more he saw of him and spent time with him, the more he saw of him and Monica together… and how happy he made her… the more he realized what a good guy he was. He wondered at one point… if somehow, on some level… he wondered if Richard knew about his feelings for Monica. If he did, he never said anything.

--Chandler honestly thought he'd lost her to Richard… although marriage was not yet discussed, to his knowledge, he knew it was a definite possibility. He wanted to be happy for her, but in a small spot, hiding way in the back of his heart, he ached. He knew he couldn't be with Monica, but he wasn't ready to give her up. Still, he had no choice. She asked him in the beginning, before her first official date with Richard if he was ok with the idea. He'd said he was. Why did he say that? 

*Cause you're a chicken-shit, **that's** why!* 

--With the knowledge that he'd lost her forever… because Richard was in her life… Chandler decided to focus on his own love life. A life that sadly, didn't include Monica.

--He'd met her on the internet, of all places… if they had crossed paths in person, there would've been **no** way he would've even given her the time of day. They were the most disastrous couple in all of history. But, they'd talked on the internet, and without knowing who she was, he agreed to meet her.

--Janice. Just the name was like nails on a chalk board, and then came the voice… 

"Oh My Gawd!"

--But, something was different this time. Maybe it was because he'd grown some… emotionally. Maybe it was because he knew he'd lost Monica to 'hunky mustache man'. Whatever the reason, he gave their relationship another chance. How was he to know that at virtually the same time, in another part of town, Monica and Richard were breaking up?

--She wanted kids… he'd already done the 'kids' thing and had moved on to grandkids. There was no compromise in Monica's mind. It was what she had always wanted. Richard would've done it… the whole 'kids' thing again… but it would have been a sacrifice on his part. Monica didn't want kids like that… under duress. The relationship ended with quiet tears as they danced at the wedding reception of Rachel's ex-fiancé.

*****

--When Chandler learned of the break-up, he held Monica as tight as he could, and still struggled to hold her tighter as she sobbed. He wanted to fix her pain so bad he ached, but he didn't know what to do other than hold her… so that's what he did. For, what seemed like, ever. 

--There was a silent vibe between them he instantly recognized… she wanted him physically, intimately, but he couldn't. He was dating Janice again, and he refused to cheat on her. Monica seemed to sense this, and never asked for anything but friendship, which he gave her willingly… generously…

*****~*****

--Joey confided in Monica… he'd just seen Janice kissing her estranged husband...

"What are we gonna do?"

"You have to tell Chandler!" Monica demanded of him, her heart racing at the hurt it would cause him… "He has the right to know!"

"You tell him!" Joey exclaimed nervously, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news…

"I can't! I didn't see it! And besides, **you're** his best friend!"

"So are you!"

"But I didn't see it!"

Joey sighed, a scowl on his face. He knew she was right… "Fine!"

--Monica waited for Chandler to come over, seeking comfort in her arms, like he always did… she didn't have to wait long. Within hours of Joey's admission to Monica, Chandler was at her door, his eyes puffy from crying…

She opened her door and her arms to him, and he took comfort in her embrace…

"I thought it might actually work this time." He uttered sadly… "She said she still loves me, but has to give her marriage a try…" He allowed her to guide him to the couch where he sat heavily… "I made a fool of myself. I begged her to stay. I don't even know why I did…"

"You weren't ready to see it end."

"I guess. I was dating her for the wrong reasons…"

"What were the reasons?"

"I was sad… depressed… that I'd lost you to Richard."

She paused, rubbing his back… "You'll never **lose** me. Not really…"

"I'm a prick." He criticized himself… 

"Why exactly?"

"I won't commit to you, but I don't want you with anyone else."

"You want to have your cake and eat it too."

Chandler pulled back and wiped his tears… "That's a stupid saying."

"Sorry…" She chuckled softly as she rubbed his arm…

"Not your fault. You didn't make it up."

"Right."

He looked at her for a moment, then reached out and touched her cheek… "Can we have sex?"

She smiled… "That didn't take you long…"

"To ask or to get over Janice?"

"Both."

"I know it's not the best of ideas." He scoffed grimly… "I know it's a **stupid** idea… but, can we anyway?"

Leaning in slightly, she kissed his lips soft and quick… "I expected you to ask…" she whispered to him… "I even shaved my legs." She added humorously…

He chuckled, then snaked his arm around her as he pulled her to him, kissing her passionately… they made love for hours, drowning in each other to stop from drowning in sadness.

--Monica thought Chandler might be ready for a commitment, but he said he wasn't. They talked for a long time about it, but it all came back to one thing… he was scared to death of screwing up and losing her forever. She respected his decision, and they promised, as before, to leave it behind them and remain friends and friends only.

*****~*****

--Chandler and Joey rushed into Monica's room at the sound of screaming, armed with pots and pans, ready to attack the person or persons responsible for causing the pained yelling…

--Upon entering the room they realized there was no armed attacker, but just Monica and Phoebe, waxing their legs, screaming from the pain ripping the wax-covered linen cloths off caused.

"Scared the hell out of me, Mon! Shit!"

"Sorry."

"Sorry." Phoebe repeated… "But it's really painful!" To demonstrate, she put the wax on Joey's arm, then placed a linen cloth over top…

"Real mature!" Joey grumbled, then grabbed the cloth and yanked it off. He winced at the pain…

They all chuckled for a moment, but stopped abrupt when they heard voices raised in anger. Without a real reason as to why, Chandler moved quickly and quietly and shut the door to the bedroom, separating them from the arguing couple.

--Rachel had suggested a break… that her and Ross 'take a break'. It's not what she meant, but it was what she had said. Ross stormed out, not out of anger so much, but out of pain. He was jealous, he admitted that, but it hurt that she pushed him away.

--To get over the hurt, he went to the local bar to get drunk. While there, after several drinks, after well into being impaired, the attractive seductress from the nearby copy place showed up. She seduced him… kissed him… made promises of making him feel better that his impaired way of thinking agreed to without considering the consequences.

--He didn't want Rachel to find out… especially from Gunther… but that was exactly what had happened. 

Waiting till they got to the apartment was near impossible, too many feelings to express making their way to the surface and out into the air before they even hit the door.

--"What happened? Why are they fighting?" Phoebe asked, looking to anyone for the answer…

"Rachel kinda broke up with Ross, so he slept with Chloe." Chandler informed…

"From the copy place?" Phoebe asked, shocked and outraged…

Joey nodded…

"And you **knew**?!" Monica asked as she smacked them both upside their heads...

"He has an affair and we get hit in our heads!" Chandler complained, moving to listen in at the door… they all followed suit.

--"You wanna talk about?" Rachel challenged Ross… "Ok, let's talk about it! Was she good?"

Ross stammered for a reply…

"**Well**?!"

"She was… different."

Rachel glared… "Different **good**?"

He knew he shouldn't have answered that question… "No one likes change."

Furious, she picked up a nearby magazine, rolled it up, and started hitting him with it…

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Rache, I'm so, so sorry!" he winced and ducked a few times, but he took her punishment. When she slowed her attack, he looked up at her, submissively avoiding eye contact… "I'm disgusted with myself… please understand, she meant nothing to me."

"Nothing? Yet she was worth risking everything over!"

"I wasn't thinking! I was… impaired! It didn't even dawn on me that there was a relationship on the line! I thought we had broken up!"

"I didn't 'break up' with you! I suggested we 'take a break'!"

"For all I knew that could've meant forever!"

Rachel scoffed angrily… "You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality?!"

"I'm not trying to 'get out' of anything! I'm trying to explain my side."

--They argued for hours, and Monica leaned on Chandler for support as she cried, hurting from the pain both her brother and her best friend were immersed in.

"They're gonna get through this," Phoebe asked… "Aren't they?"

Chandler squeezed Monica a little tighter… "Of course they will. I mean, it's Ross and Rachel."

"What if they don't?" Monica asked in a whisper…

Chandler kissed her hair…

--Ross stared at Rachel, desperately wanting to wipe her tears away and gather her into his arms… 

"Talk to me Rachel…" he requested softly… 

She didn't reply. She didn't even look at him. Desperate, he moved to the coffee table in front of her… 

"Rachel, please, don't shut me out. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I was out of my mind! I was drunk and stupid and out of my mind. I love you so much… how insane must I have been to risk 'us' like that? I'm no adulterer! You know that!"

"Do I?"

"We're in a tough spot Rache, ok? But, we can get through this! I want us to work through this!" 

He started to cry, which got Rachel crying harder… 

"I did a terrible stupid thing! I admit that! I take responsibility for it! I will apologize for the rest of my life if you want me too. Whatever you want. I'll do… whatever you want. Just-- Just tell me what you want me to do."

"I want you to leave." She demanded softly, standing and pointing at the door…

Ross stood and stared for a moment, then began to cry harder… "No! No! I'm not gonna let you bail on 'us'!" He dropped to his knees and grabbed her around her waist… "I can't imagine my life without you. Please don't make me live my life without you. I can't live without-- Without-- Please…"

Rachel wiped at her tears in vain… "No. I can't, you are totally different to me now." She pushed him away and he let go of her, remaining on his knees… "I used to think you as someone who would never **ever** hurt me, but you have. You have. And now, I can't stop picturing you with her."

He moved his hands to cover his face, sobbing… "I never meant to hurt you. Please… please give me another chance," he begged… "You are my everything, Rache. Everything…" His last word was barely audible…

Rachel dropped to her knees and Ross immediately gathered her into his arms…

"Counseling…" she whispered through her tears… 

He gasped and kissed her hair feverishly… "Yes. Anything. Anything. God, Rachel, I love you **so** much. I will **never** hurt you again… **ever**! That is a solemn promise!"

She nodded, allowing his affections to ease her pain… "Ok…"

"Do you want me to go home?"

"I don't know."

"I'll just hold you. Or whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want."

She sighed… "Come to bed and-- and just hold me."

He got off his knees and stood, then helped her to her feet… "Anything…"

--Monica was crying steadily, as was Phoebe. Joey seemed misty, but held it together, not wanting to appear wimpy. Chandler felt a lump in his throat, his eyes burning from tears that didn't fall, and during all of it… during the entire argument… all he could think about was Monica. **Her** pain. What she must've been thinking as they all listened in on the saddest fight any of them had ever heard.

He held her as close as he could, being careful not to raise suspicions with Phoebe and Joey as he did.

"They're gonna get through this, Mon." Chandler whispered in her ear… "Ok?"

She nodded.

"We'll wait till they're settled in, then we'll leave." Joey suggested and the rest nodded.

After about 20 minutes, they tiptoed out…

Chandler turned once at the door and gave Monica a look she understood and accepted… he loved her. She smiled… she loved him too…

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	7. The One With Pete, Joey's Hole, & Kathy

**__**

The One With Pete, Joey's Hole, & Kathy

Chapter Seven

Continued from: 'TOW Ross & Rachel Fight'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Chandler liked Pete, and not just cause he was closer to Monica's age than Richard was, but because he was rich. Beyond rich. Stinkin filthy rich. Like, 'shake hands with the President of The United States like it was no big deal' kind of rich. And he was nice. And he truly liked Monica. There was financial security there, to say the least, and Chandler knew that he would be good to her and take care of her.

****

That is the kind of man Monica deserved, Chandler thought to himself… **not** someone like me…

--They were all atwitter… all the friends, because it really looked like Pete might propose. 

Chandler knew this day might come… it was inevitable. Monica was an incredible catch… but he wasn't as prepared for it as he thought he was. He'd always told himself that he wanted her to be happy. That **that** was his top concern. Now, with her happiness just a 'Yes, Pete, I will marry you' away, he found he was having major doubts… anxiety making sleep difficult and being awake even harder.

--At first, Monica said she would've said 'no', which had Chandler temporarily relieved, but after some thought, she warmed up to the idea. 

--Chandler struggled with his emotions… actually the emotions conflicted with one another, and he fought the urge to get drunk and drown his feelings of sadness in many shots of vodka.

He put on his happy face, hiding his pain… but Monica could tell. She always could.

--Rachel decided to call it a night and head for bed, and everyone else muttered about how it was late and they should be getting home to bed as well… but as everyone prepared to leave, Monica asked Chandler to stay behind.

--They sat on the couch in awkward silence for several minutes before Monica finally spoke up…

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I'm happy for you." He stated softly…

"Thanks." she smiled, "Anything else on your mind?"

He shrugged.

She sighed… "Are you ok with this? Pete asking me to marry him…"

He shrugged again… "I'm happy for you."

"You said that already. Care to elaborate?"

"I don't know. I **like** Pete…" he trailed off…

"But, me marrying him means… no chance of 'us'."

"Was there ever **really** a chance at 'us'?" he asked somewhat bitterly…

"There might have been. If you didn't have so many issues…" there was a touch of irritation to her voice that didn't go unnoticed…

"Right." He just agreed with her, he didn't want to fight with her…

"The ball's in your court, Chandler. You say the word, and I will turn down Pete's proposal."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"Yes, you can."

"I can't ask you to give up your chance at happiness… at a family, and what you've always dreamed of, just for 'maybe'. I can't ask you to 'wait for me'. And I'm not ready to do this. I just **think** about commitment and I break out into a cold sweat."

"But we can work **through** that."

"No." He shook his head… "Every woman I have ever dated has ended up hating me… cause I get into a relationship, and I change. I change into a man no woman can love."

"It's a defense mechanism," she countered…

"You sound like a shrink."

"You sound like a baby."

"I know."

"This **thing** between us has been going on for a long time. And God **knows** I've tried to be patient and understanding, but, it's like, you won't even **try**!"

"And that's just a taste of 'relationship Chandler'…" he sighed… "You won't like him. You like 'friendship Chandler', so, let's just stay there. In the friendship zone."

She sighed… "If that's what you really want."

"I think it's better this way."

Shaking her head, she stood and wrapped her arms around herself… "Alright then. So, everything's great. And you're ok with me and Pete."

He nodded… "Yep."

His reply was forced, she could tell, but she couldn't force him to admit something he wasn't ready to admit. He obviously had reasons for hiding his feelings, so she dropped it.

"K. Guess I'll see'ya tomorrow then."

"Yeah." He nodded as he stood, then dared himself to look into her eyes… "Congratulations," he whispered, then hugged her quickly before walking out the door as fast as his legs would carry him.

*****

--Chandler was actually relieved when it turned out that the **big** **thing** Pete wanted to talk to Monica about, was **not** about asking her to marry him, but about becoming an 'Ultimate Fighting Champion'.

"What the hell is that?" Rachel asked…

"It's like wrestling…" Monica replied… "I guess."

"Only, the rules are: there **are no rules**!" Chandler added…

"Sounds brutal." Phoebe interjected…

"Oh, it is. And totally **not** fake!" Joey informed…

Ross winced and shook his head… "Let's hope he doesn't get himself killed."

--He didn't. He didn't get killed, but he clearly sucked at it. By the second match he was in a full-body cast. That was it for Monica. She couldn't stand to watch him get hurt, and he refused to stop competing. She broke it off with him, much to Chandler's surprise…

--"I just couldn't watch him do that to himself…" Monica confided in Chandler as they sat alone in his apartment, Joey out with some date…

"I don't blame you." Chandler consoled her as she sat in his lap and leaned against him for support…

Funny thing was, she wasn't all that sad. She wasn't thrilled that the relationship ended, but it was almost, in a way, a relief. She wasn't entirely sure if she even loved him. He was more like… safety. He could provide her with everything she'd ever dreamed about… a family, a house in the suburbs… and financial security didn't hurt either. Only problem was… he wasn't Chandler.

She silently cursed her luck… she sat on the lap of the man who held her heart, but could only love him within strict limits. Many a night was spent ridiculing herself for not being able to help him over his fears. He felt something for her… that was obvious, yet, he refused to commit. 

He told her often that it wasn't her… that it was him, and she believed him when he said it… but, late at night, when she was alone in her bed, she wondered if there was anything **she **was doing… or not doing… to push him away. 

--"I need you tonight…" she whispered in his ear, and he nodded…

"I know. I need you too." He kissed her hair… "It's Pete's loss…"

"Thanks." She smiled into his eyes… "Kiss me."

He smiled in return, leaning in to claim her lips with his.

*****~*****

--The beach house was a mess. Full of sand and debris from the previous storm… and the **current** storm.

Phoebe found the address of her dad's and deceased mom's best friend from school… excited to see her and talk to her about her mom and dad, she convinced all her friends to go with her to Montauk… for moral support. A massage client of Phoebe's allowed them the use of his beach house.

--Joey had found the joy of building sandcastles, the **huge** amount of sand in the house making the craft easy to do from the comfort of the livingroom. Ross and Rachel excused themselves to go 'sleep', although everyone knew they would be doing little sleeping… their relationship back on track again. Phoebe went off in search of the woman who held stories about her parents… so that left Chandler and Monica on their own.

--They sat on the porch swing outside, watching the rain and lightening from the safety of the dry awning-covered porch.

"I like storms," Monica muttered as she snuggled up to Chandler…

"Me too." He pulled her a little closer… 

"It's frightening and safe, all at the same time."

"Yeah…" he chuckled almost imperceptibly… "Kinda like us."

"Yeah…"

There was a long comfortable silence as they watched the sky light up as thunder and lightning crashed through, disrupting the darkness.

"I think about what it would be like to date you properly…" Monica admitted out of the blue… she could feel Chandler tense…

"You know where I'm at on that, Mon." he said after a moment's pause…

"I know…" she whispered…

"We've **so **broken the rules of friendship, and now things are in a strange place with us."

"What do you mean?"

Lightning crashed through the sky, closer than the previous bolts… Monica startled as Chandler continued on, holding her tighter when he felt her jump…

"We're not 'just friends', but we're not dating either. How much longer can we carry on this way?"

"I don't know. I know I wouldn't trade our time together for the world. If I can't **have** you, at least I can **kinda** have you… know what I mean?"

"Yeah, but, you're hurting. And I'm the cause. And I don't want to be the cause of your pain."

She tensed… "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying… I think we should stop with the intimate stuff." There. He'd said it. No turning back now… "I think we should just focus on being friends. Like Joey and Phoebe are friends… like me and Rachel are friends. Platonic."

She pulled back and looked at him, shocked and hurt… "Did I piss you off or something?"

"No! Not at all! I think-- I knew this would be disastrous, and I was right. You want more, you deserve more, and I can't give it to you. We're just making it worse… and harder to be 'platonic' every time we're **together**. I think we should stop now."

"I've been really understanding… **I **think! I have laid with you without ever expecting more and I have **never** pressured you!"

He winced… she was angry… "I know…"

"And now you're just-- you're gonna--" She was so upset she couldn't even make a coherent sentence. She stood and made a gesture of dismissal, then walked away and back into the house…

Chandler put his face in his hands and sighed… "Well, **that** went well."

*****

--Chandler tried to make small talk with her as they sunned themselves on the beach, but Monica gave him the cold shoulder, barely acknowledging him.

Joey was nearby, digging a large hole for God-knows-what reason, so Chandler didn't push to have a conversation with her about what was **really** bothering her.

"Check this out!" Joey exclaimed… "Dug me a **hole**!"

Chandler and Monica stood and approached…

"Excellent hole, Joe." Chandler humored him…

Just then Monica screamed in pain and favored her left leg…

She had been stung by a jellyfish… a very painful thing to be certain.

"You want to go back to the house?" Joey asked as Chandler helped her to balance as she hopped on one foot…

"It's too far!" she screamed…

"Maybe we could carry you?" Chandler suggested…

Joey snapped his fingers… "Oh! I know! You need to pee on it."

"What?!" Chandler asked in shock…

"Ewww! Gross!" Monica snapped…

"No, I'm serious!" Joey told them… "I saw it on one of those boring nature documentaries!"

"Oh yeah!" Chandler suddenly remembered… "There's something like ammonia in **that**, that deadens the pain or something."

"You can use my hole if you want some privacy." Joey offered.

--Monica tried, only because the pain was so intense that she felt like she was going to pass out, to pee on her ankle… but she couldn't bend in that way…

"Joe, I need you to help her out…" Chandler pleaded… "We kinda had a fight. She's not gonna want me to **pee** on her…"

"I don't know, man. It's… **weird**."

"She's in pain. Please, Joey. As a friend."

Reluctantly, Joey agreed. He tried, but he just couldn't do it. It was too weird and he got 'stage fright', so it was back to Chandler…

--He jumped in the hole with Monica, glaring at Joey when he just stood there as if he were going to watch. Joey took the hint and turned around.

"I'm sorry about this…" he whispered, she nodded. "I know you're mad at me…"

"Damn right I am!" she huffed… "If you're gonna do it, get **on** with it."

He inwardly winced at the bitterness in her tone. The last thing he wanted was to cause her pain, and now she was in pain… emotionally as well as physically… although the physical wasn't his fault. At least he could take **that** pain away.

He felt his face flush at the awkwardness of what he was about to do…

"Where exactly is the sting?"

She lifted her leg and pointed at the spot on her ankle, then extended it, giving him an easier angle at it.

He sighed, then looked around before pulling his shorts down just enough… 

He couldn't do it at first. Like Joey, he had gotten stage fright…

"Are you gonna do this or what?" she asked, avoiding eye contact…

"Stage fright," he muttered quietly… "Give me a minute."

She nodded, then stole a glance at his expression. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be really concentrating. She would have smiled, only she was in extreme pain and was still mad at him.

He sighed in relief, finally able to go, and Monica yipped then sighed, as it at first burned a little, then started to feel better.

When done, he pulled his shorts back up and moved to leave the hole…

"Chandler?"

He stopped…

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Chandler climbed out, then he and Joey helped Monica out and carried her back to the beach house.

--The situation was weird, to say the least, but he came through for her. He could've said 'no', especially after their fight, but he didn't. He helped her out under the oddest of circumstances… he'd peed on her, in public, to help her out of an intense pain like she'd never felt before. She was still upset with him, but his sacrifice to help her when she needed him didn't go unacknowledged.

*****

--Monica sighed as she saw him sitting alone at the rest stop, everyone else off peeing or raiding the vending machines…

She sat beside him… "Hey."

He glanced her way, then back at the ground… "Hey."

"Thank you for what you did this weekend."

"You're welcome, but if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk about it. **Ever**."

She smiled just slightly… "I understand."

"I'm sorry I made you angry."

"I know you are. It's me. I said that I agreed to the terms: no strings attached sex… it became more to me. I can't force you to feel the same."

They turned at the sound of cursing and banging… Joey was at the sandwich machine, cursing at it and kicking it…

"I gave you my money! Give me my **damn **sandwich!"

"Joey! You're gonna break it!" Phoebe warned him, trying to pull him away from it as he struggled to continue his assault on the mechanical thief…

Chandler and Monica looked at each other with brief smiles, then turned their attentions back to their conversation…

"As I was trying to say… it's **because** you're having these feelings that I think it's best if we just cut cold turkey. It's like, when you quit smoking… if you tell yourself 'just this one more', you'll be saying it forever and you'll never quit, know what I mean?"

She nodded, her head hung low… "I'm not ready to give you up." She felt tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to let them fall…

"I'm sorry. I will **always** be here for you. **Always**. But, we can't be **intimate** with each other any more."

She nodded, a single tear she couldn't control trickling down her cheek… "Alright."

"Guys! C'mon!" Joey yelled from Phoebe Grandmother's cab, holding his sandwich up in the air triumphantly… "Let's **go** already!"

*****~*****

--Monica was jealous. She didn't want to be… she tried to force herself not to be… but she was. 

Her name was Kathy, and she was originally Joey's girlfriend, although he wasn't really all that serious about her. That's why it was so easy for him to step aside and let Chandler have her. Joey tried to let her down gently, but it didn't really prove necessary… she liked Chandler more than she liked Joey.

--Chandler started dating Kathy. Maybe because she subtly threw herself at him. Maybe because he was trying to prove he **could** be in a relationship. Whatever the reason, Monica thought, he was willing to attempt a relationship with this virtual stranger and **not** her… and **that** hurt.

--Chandler liked Kathy, although he wasn't sure as to why. But, there was definitely something there. They just seemed to click, and he hadn't felt that since Monica.

--He was the one who'd said that they could no longer be **together**, strings or no strings, and they had abided by that. Still, he missed her. It was his suggestion that they quit cold turkey, but he still missed her… horribly.

Maybe **that** was why he liked Kathy. Not because she was Kathy, but because he was hurting and lonely and she filled a void. In some respects, he felt like he was cheating on Kathy with Monica, for his thoughts seemed to always wander back to her. Then, in other respects, he felt like he was cheating on Monica with Kathy.

He'd told Monica that he was unable to commit, yet, there he was, in a relationship with some other woman. He wondered if his relationship with Kathy was painful for Monica, like hers with Richard and Pete was for him, but thought it best not to bring it up.

--They dated for a while, and it started getting pretty serious, till Chandler pulled a 'Chandler'. His weird commitment issues surfaced and he accused her of adultery. Angry, Kathy told him not to bother calling or coming over till he 'grew up'.

He didn't want to leave it like that with her… her angry with him, so he went to her apartment to apologize for upsetting her. Nothing would have prepared him for what he saw. There was Kathy, in the arms of another man.

Had he been right? Had she been having an affair? Or did his accusations drive her into the arms of another man? It didn't matter. Either way, it was over with Kathy. 

--Silently, Monica cursed Kathy. Cursed her for getting to have Chandler. Cursed her for pushing him away after his accusations when all he was, was scared. Cursed her for cheating on him and hurting him. But **inside**… inside, she was relieved. She wanted him to be happy, she truly did, but **she** wanted to be the person making him happy. Now with Kathy out of the picture… maybe… just maybe…

--Monica held him as he cried, wanting to ease his pain more than anything…

"I told you I'm **bad** at this!" Chandler exclaimed as he accepted Monica's arms around him… "This is what happens! This is what would happen with us if we tried to become an 'us'!"

"Ssshhh…" she soothed, stroking his hair… "There will be other 'Kathys'. You'll fall in love with her and she with you and she will understand your issues and fears." She spoke in generalities, but the hidden meaning there was quite simple… she hoped that his 'Kathy' would be her.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	8. The One With The Trip To London

**__**

The One With The Trip To London

Chapter Eight

Continued From: 'TOW Pete, Joey's Hole, & Kathy'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Rachel had always wanted to get married in London… since she was a seven year old playing bride with Monica, a pillow case hanging off the back of her head. Ross would deny her nothing, so London was where they would wed.

--"Why not just honeymoon there?" Phoebe asked sadly… "I can't go see you get married cause I'm carrying this frickin litter!" She rubbed her stomach…

--Phoebe was originally against her little brother marrying someone twice his age, but his bride-to-be seemed incredibly nice… and they were truly in love. They were sincerely made for each other. When trying to get pregnant failed for them, and tests showed her as unable to conceive, they turned to Phoebe for help.

She struggled with whether or not she could be the surrogate mom, carry a baby, then give it away. But, after much thought, she decided to make her brother and sister-in-law's dream come true. They hadn't planned on her carrying multiples, but that sometimes happens with the procedure she underwent… in vitro fertilization.

--So, because she was carrying triplets for her brother and his wife, she couldn't fly anywhere. She couldn't fly to London… and she couldn't see two of her best friends get married.

--"I'm sorry Pheebs, but, this is what Rachel wants." Ross apologized…

"Can't you wait, like, 2 months till I have the babies?" Phoebe asked…

"The church she wants to get married in is being torn down. If we wait, it'll be gone." Ross explained… "Sorry."

Phoebe groaned and turned to walk away…

"We'll bring you back the video!" he called out to her, she just dismissed him with a wave of her hand and kept walking.

*****

--"Passport, **check**. Camera, **check**, Traveler's checks, **check**…" Monica put each item away as she crossed them off the list in her head…

"Who are you saying **check** to?" Rachel asked as she too packed her stuff for the trip.

"Myself…" Monica replied… "You remember what's on the list, you have it, so, you **check** it off."

Rachel chuckled as she shook her head… "I can't believe we're gonna be sisters-in-law…"

Monica huffed… "You say that like it's a bad thing!"

Rachel dropped her carry-on bag and hugged her… "No. It's an excellent thing."

"Hey guys!" Ross exclaimed as he entered Monica's apartment… "We all set to go?"

"Yep!" Monica replied… "Got the tickets?"

"Yep! **Check**!"

Rachel chuckled as she wrapped her arms around her soon-to-be husband… "You guys are so alike, you're almost interchangeable. Maybe I should marry Monica!"

Ross' smile dropped… "Don't even joke! One lesbian ex-wife is enough, thank you!"

--With both front doors open, Chandler could hear the conversation in Monica's apartment from his apartment…

"**More** than enough **I** would think!" Chandler added with a smirk as he continued packing his carry-on bag…

"You guys ready?" Ross asked as he stood in his sister's doorway, looking across the hall and addressing Chandler and Joey.

"Yep." Chandler patted his bag after zipping it up.

"London baby!" Joey announced as he walked towards the door, indicating he was set to go…

"Joe? You remember your passport?" Chandler asked…

"Yeah! It's in the top drawer of my dresser!" Joey replied… "Don't wanna be losing **that**!"

Chandler looked at him expectantly, and immediately Joey realized he was forgetting something by the expression on his face. After a moment, he gasped and ran for his room…

Chandler rolled his eyes… "There ya go."

--After receiving directions on how to feed the chick and the duck, Phoebe hugged all her friends and wished them a safe and fun trip…

"Don't forget to bring me back something!" she called to them as they disappeared down the hall… "And not some lame **mug** either!"

She sighed as she walked into Monica's apartment and shut the door… "I don't get to **go**…" she muttered to herself… "Least you can do is bring me back a half-ass decent souvenir."

*****

--Rachel walked out of the dressing room, looking so incredibly beautiful in her eloquent wedding dress that Monica started to cry… out of joy for her friend, and out of sadness for herself…

"Rachel…" she gasped… "You look perfect!"

Rachel beamed… "Thanks."

Sandra, Rachel's mom handed Monica a tissue, then retrieved another one from her purse for herself… "Simply stunning, dear."

"Thanks Mom."

"After the whole 'Barry fiasco', I never thought this day would come…"

"Mom, please, let the 'Barry' thing go, k?"

"Sorry."

Monica smiled to hide her frustration. Her and Rachel were the same age, and yet she'd had two marriage proposals… two weddings, even though the first one she didn't go through with… when was it her turn? When was it Monica's turn? When would **she** be the one standing in front of family and friends in a gorgeous white dress, the man of her dreams standing beside her?

"Mon, you ok?" Rachel's question brought Monica back to the present…

"Yeah, sorry. Just zoned out a bit." She shrugged… "Jet lag."

*****

--All the arrangements were checked and double checked… and everything was right as scheduled. Rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch, except for Monica's mom's constant nagging…

"Your brother will be married for the second time…" Judy Geller droned on… "Not that I'm condoning divorce mind you, but you haven't even had a proposal. Maybe you're doing something wrong? Ever think about that dear? You have to lure a man and keep him if you ever expect to get married. Maybe you need to--"

"Mon?" Chandler interrupted… "Sorry Mrs. Geller." He apologized to Monica's mom, then turned back to Monica… "We need you for a second. Wedding details."

"Details about what?" Monica asked, confused…

Chandler threw her a look, then instantly dropped it and smiled… "About the food at the reception. You being a chef and all…"

She then realized what he was doing… he was rescuing her…

"Oh. Sure. Of course." Monica stood… "Excuse me please…" she said politely to her mother, then followed Chandler away…

--"Oh my God, thank you!" she hugged Chandler when they were out of her mom's line a vision… "I was about ready to **hang** myself!"

He smiled… "Thought you could use the help."

They both snagged a glass of champagne off a passing waiter's tray, then sat on a bench nearby…

"How're you doing?"

"I'm ok. I mean, I'm happy for Ross and Rachel… anything else is secondary to that."

"Yeah. I've been worried about you though…" he admitted…

"Why?"

"I know how much you want this, Mon. The beautiful wedding to the man you love…"

"I'll get that… someday. I hope…"

"You will."

She sighed, then gulped her drink… "You know what I really wanna do right now?"

He shook his head… "What?"

"Get drunk. Not so drunk I have a hangover tomorrow, but good and fuzzy-warm! Wanna join me?"

He chuckled, then downed his drink as she had moments before… "Sure." He stood and extended his hand… "There's a bar at the hotel."

"Sounds good."

*****

--Chandler had thought about staying with her, but decided it would be too dangerous. He and Monica had been able to stick to the 'no intimacy' arrangement, and had even been able to regain, very closely, the friendship they'd had before all the sex. 

--He knew she was vulnerable. If he stayed, there was no telling what would happen. So he saw her safely to her room, then headed down the hall to his own.

--There was a note from Joey that simply stated: 'Dude, out with British Chippie. Took your condoms. Don't wait up!'

Chandler rolled his eyes and wadded up the note before tossing it in the trash. He started to undress for bed, his shirt and pants off when there was a knock at the door. He opened the door just a crack and peeked out, seeing Monica on the other side, another drink in hand…

"Can I come in?" she asked, sipping her what-looked-like scotch on the rocks with a twist…

He hesitated, mostly because of his state of undress, but then nodded… "Yeah. Sure."

He hid himself with the door as he opened it further, allowing her entrance, then closed it when she strolled inside.

She smiled as she looked him up and down… "What'cha doin?"

"Getting ready for bed. What're you doing?"

"Drinking more." She answered simply, then started sipping at her drink again…

"You've had enough, Mon." He took the glass from her, then splashed the contents into the bathroom sink…

"Hey!"

"You need coffee…" he picked up the phone and dialed for room service… "Coffee please. Strongest you got. Thanks."

"I don't want coffee!" She plopped onto the bed dramatically…

"Then, what do you want?"

"You!"

He sighed, then kneeled beside her… "You're drunk. You're hurting. It's NOT a good idea to go back to that place again."

She lunged forward and kissed him, wrapping her hands around his neck…

He semi- kissed her back, semi- pushed her away, grabbing her arms from around his neck…

"No Monica. No. We can't."

Tears filled her eyes and she dropped backwards on to the bed, laying with her legs still dangling off the edge… "I love you Chandler…" she whispered sadly…

He closed his eyes at the sound of pain in her voice… "You won't if we date."

"I am sick to **death** of those words! How do you know?! I know you, Chandler! I know what an effort '**us**' would take! I know you have issues! I know you can be a big, fat jerk! I'm **ok** with all that! I want to try!"

"What if we fail?"

"What if we don't?"

"What if we **do**?"

She let out an exasperated sigh… "But what if we **don't**!"

He sighed and stood… "We've had this argument before…"

"I know! And I for one am getting **sick** of having it!"

"Look, you're drunk. By tomorrow, you'll see as I do that this is **not** a good idea."

There was a knock at the door, and he quickly grabbed his pants and threw them on before answering it.

Chandler tipped the room service waiter, then closed the door and immediately started pouring Monica a cup of coffee…

"I'll drink the coffee…" she told him… "And I'll sober up. Sleep it off. If by tomorrow… if I still feel the same, will you at least **consider** 'us'?"

He handed her the mug after having adding cream and sugar, just like she liked it, then sat beside her carefully so as not to jostle the bed and disrupt the steaming liquid…

"Alright." The one simple word was uttered softly, but firmly… and it meant more than any other word he could've said…

"What?"

"Alright." He repeated… "If you still feel the same by morning, we will talk about giving it a try."

"Are you serious?" she asked in shock… "You're not just saying it to appease me, are you?"

"No. I'm serious."

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry… "Oh my God…" she whispered, almost tipping the coffee cup over enough to dump it in her lap, her attention elsewhere…

He smiled, and steadied the mug… "You'll scald yourself…"

She ignored his warning… "Thank you Chandler."

He nodded… "Drink your coffee."

*****

--"I'm getting married today!" Ross exclaimed as he barged into Chandler's room, waking him out of his sound sleep…

"Morning Ross."

"I'm getting married **to-day**! WooHoo!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to sleep here!" Monica snapped sleepily from the other bed in the room, then flung the covers over her head and rolled over…

"What's Monica doing here?" Ross asked…

"She was kinda bummed last night, and had **way** too much to drink…"

"Why was she bummed?"

"You're mom." Was all Chandler had to say…

"Ah." Ross nodded…

"I ordered her some coffee and told her she needed to sleep it off."

"She gonna be ok for the wedding?"

Chandler smiled and patted Ross' shoulder… "Yeah. She didn't get **that** wasted. She'll be fine."

Ross smiled… "I'll see you at the church! **Don't** be late!"

"Hey, it's not **me** you have to worry about…"

"Speaking of Joey…" Ross knew instinctively who Chandler was referring to… "Where is he?"

"He 'hooked up'."

"Ah. Well, when you see him, threaten his life for me that if he is late, I'll kill him."

"You got it, man."

"Thanks." A brief smile, a glance in Monica's direction, and Ross was gone.

*****

--Chandler ordered breakfast through room service, along with a pain reliever for Monica… just in case.

He tipped the waiter, then shut, locked, and bolted the door… having no idea when Joey was coming back. The last thing he needed was Joey barging in on their conversation…

Part of him hoped Monica would still want to start a relationship with him, in the light of a new day and absence of alcohol. But part of him felt anxiety and wished for the easy, chicken's way out.

He sat beside her on the bed and lightly rubbed her back… he knew he'd reached her when she groaned…

"I have breakfast. Coffee, drugs…"

"Mmmm…" she rolled over… "Like that combination."

He smiled as he left the bed and began transferring the food from the little tray it was wheeled in on to the small table…

"Eggs? Toast?" he asked as he gestured for her to join him…

"Toast, coffee, drugs, then we'll see how I feel."

He chuckled… "Fair enough."

They both sat and began to eat, both wanting the other to broach the subject… Chandler finally did…

"So, what have you decided?"

She smiled through her hangover… "What you knew I would, but was afraid I would…" she told him softly… "I have wanted to try for 'us' for a long time now."

He nodded… "I hope you understand what you're getting yourself into."

"I do. I hope **you** realize I'm not gonna take any of your crap."

He laughed… "I do. After all… you're Monica."

"Oh good…" she quipped… "The change in longitude and latitude hasn't affected your memory."

"Oh, I don't know, I think maybe it has…"

"How so?"

He grinned… "Cause, I'm having a hard time remembering what it's like to touch your naked skin. And make love to you…"

"Well…" she purred… "I think I'm gonna need to give you a refresher course in Monica101."

"Sounds like a fun class. Think I'll ask for extra-credit assignments…"

She grinned as she leaned across the table and kissed him. It had just started to heat up when Joey attempted entry…

"Dude! Who do you think's gonna steal you?! Open the door!"

Chandler rolled his eyes as Monica's lips left his… "Could you maybe let him in? I'm a little more **excited** then I should be, if you catch my drift."

*****

--Joey rambled on about his date all through breakfast… the breakfast he copped from Chandler and Monica's room service tray. Chandler and Monica didn't mind though… that was just Joey. He was like that.

Monica, sotto, leaned in and whispered to Chandler… "Let's go to my room and get ready."

Chandler smiled…

"So, **then**, we get this bucket of strawberries and--"

"Joe. Joe." Chandler interrupted, rolling his eyes… "As thrilled as I am to be getting **every** detail of your date… we gotta go now."

"Go? Go where?"

"Monica's room. To get ready."

Joey's brow wrinkled… "Why are **you** going to **Monica's** room to get ready?"

Chandler made a few stuttering sounds, but was unable to produce a reason, luckily, Monica could and did…

"Cause he's, like, **helpless** when it comes to dressing himself. And I just want him to look decent for Rachel and Ross' wedding. For pictures and stuff. Right?"

Joey looked at her with confusion. He'd never thought of Chandler as not being able to dress himself, but, then again, he was a guy. Maybe a woman saw it differently.

He shrugged… "If you say so."

Chandler sighed and grabbed his suit, still bagged, out of the closet, then grabbed his toiletries…

"And by the way Joe, Ross asked me to tell you that if you're late, he'll kill you."

Chandler and Monica both rushed out the door, leaving Joey alone at the breakfast table, still eating…

"Fine, fine." he mumbled to himself… "Chandler can't even **dress** himself and **I'm** getting lectured on being late." He shrugged as he went back to his food, grabbing the TV remote and flipping channels…

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	9. The One With The Souvenirs

**__**

The One With The Souvenirs

Chapter Nine

Continued from: 'TOW The Trip To London'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Chandler and Monica frantically kissed as she struggled to unlock her hotel room door. Once open, they nearly fell inside and onto the bed…

"We have to start getting ready…" Monica whimpered, his hands transforming her body into the consistency of jello…

"We have time…" he murmured as he continued his affectionate assault… "We'll just do a quickie."

She groaned… "I want a 'longie'…"

"Tonight… all night long…" 

His hand slipped up her thigh and all thoughts of getting ready for the wedding left her mind…

*****

--Rachel looked beautiful… and so happy. She walked down the aisle towards her prince, Ross smiling at the sight of her…

"She looks incredible…" he breathed, and Chandler smiled, his gaze moving from Rachel to Monica…

"She sure does." He whispered to himself…

--Rachel swore she wouldn't cry, not wanting to ruin her make-up, but it quickly became a lost cause…

"Repeat after me…" the minister instructed… "I, Ross, take thee, Rachel to be my lawfully wedded wife,"

Ross smiled… "I, Ross, take thee… thee…" His smile dropped as he struggled with his lines, his excitement and nervousness causing his brain to shut down momentarily…

Rachel chuckled, noticing the sheer terror on his face… "Rachel," she prompted, then her smile grew wider… "This really isn't a scam to get citizenship…" she quipped to everyone as a whole… "We're both citizens of **the same** country."

Everyone chuckled, and her lighthearted reaction helped Ross to relax…

The minister smiled… "Let's start over…" 

*****

--The reception was fun, and the food was wonderful, but all Chandler and Monica wanted was for it to end so they could leave… back to her room… to be together…

They danced closely, but not so close as to attract suspicion. They were finally a couple, but they weren't ready to announce it to everyone just yet. It was Ross and Rachel's day, and Monica didn't want to intrude on that.

--Ross and Rachel had done all the little things a newly married couple does at a reception… cut the cake, first dance, throw the bouquet and garter, then they left for their honeymoon, giving Monica and Chandler the opportunity to duck out.

--"Joey, we're going now." Chandler approached his friend at the buffet table and informed him of his plans…

"We are?" he asked as he continued to load down his plate… 

"Monica and I are leaving." he clarified…

"Oh. Where'ya going?"

Chandler's brain quickly thought up a place, knowing if he wasn't careful, Joey would invite himself to come along… "The movies. To see a chick flick… that has subtitles."

"Eh!" Joey made a disgusted face… "Why?"

Chandler shrugged and made a similar face… "Monica wants to go."

He scoffed… "Have fun, Dude."

"Thanks." As Chandler moved to leave, he noticed Joey had meat on his plate…

--That wasn't uncommon for Joey. In fact, it was **very** common for Joey, but he had made a promise to Phoebe… he promised to stop eating meat until she had the triplets for her brother and his wife. 

--Typical of pregnant women, Phoebe had a craving… and that craving for her was meat. But with being a vegetarian, that posed a problem for her. Joey, being a good friend, volunteered to stop eating meat till she gave birth. The reasoning behind the sacrifice was that she would be eating **his** meat, and no additional animals would be eaten.

--"Um, Joe, that's meat." He pointed at the plate…

"Yeah?"

"What about your promise to Phoebe?"

"We're in a whole other country!" Joey exclaimed… "I still have to do that **here**?"

"Uh, **yeah**! You made a **promise**."

Joey groaned and dropped the meat back in the tray, then stabbed a chunk of overcooked, soggy broccoli, waggling it at Chandler… "Mmm! Yumm!" he snipped, upset, then flung it onto his plate and walked away…

*****

--Chandler and Monica were in each other's arms and kissing before the door was even shut, locked, and bolted, their passion for each other fueling their desires…

"Rachel looked **so** beautiful…" Monica muttered as Chandler's lips found her neck…

"Mmm-hmm…"

"And Ross seemed **so** happy…"

"Mmmm…"

"So did Rachel…" Monica added… 

"Do you want to make love or commentary?" he asked playfully…

"Hush," she smirked as she scolded… "Or my next commentary will be about your '**performance**' **while** making love!"

Chandler winced… "Beautiful wedding, huh?" He smiled sheepishly…

"Yeah," she chuckled… "Now kiss me."

*****

--They snuggled under the blankets, naked and sweaty, content and sleepy…

"I think that's a record…" Monica panted… "Who knew you had such stamina."

He shook his head… "Not me."

He stroked her arm as they remained silent for several minutes, enjoying the closeness… he knew an in-depth conversation was imminent…

"Chandler?" 

And there it was…

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk…" It sounded more like a question than a statement…

"Right."

"Why did you agree to this?" she asked hesitantly… "What's changed?"

"I have," he replied without pause… "I've changed."

"In what way?" she pressed…

"I know now what I want."

"And what's that?"

He kissed her hair… "You." he answered simply…

She smiled as she kissed his chest… "I want you too." She snuggled in closer, running her index finger in little circles across his abdomen… "You're not scared of being in a relationship with me?"

"Oh, couldn't be more terrified." He admitted… "**Terrified** of being in a relationship with you. **Terrified** of hurting you. Losing you. Terrified that you'll start hating me…"

"I won't ever hate you, Chandler."

"I'm gonna hold you to that…" he chuckled, then a seriousness that was uncharacteristic for him followed… "You said once that you could help me with my issues…"

She nodded… "I did…"

"You're still willing to do that?"

"Of course…"

"Just so you know, I'm **going** to mess up. **A lot**." He tensed… "Still sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm sure." Her tone was firm, unwavering… "And just so you know," she added… "I'm not gonna let you bail at the first sign if trouble." She tapped his chest with her finger… "Now are **you** sure you still wanna do this?"

"Very." He answered softly… "Very sure. I want to make this work."

"I do too."

He sighed as he pulled her tighter to him…

"What are we gonna tell everyone?"

"The truth." he offered… "That we 'hooked up' in London."

She chuckled… "How romantic." She propped herself on her arm and turned slightly to face him… "We should wait to tell them though."

"Ok," he agreed… "For how long?"

"Well, we should wait till Ross and Rachel get back from their honeymoon…" she reasoned… "So we can tell them all at the same time."

"Ok…"

"And maybe we should wait till after Phoebe has the babies." she suggested… "I think everything will be a little on the tense side for a while… after she gives them up to Frank and Alice…"

"Really?" he questioned… "Why?"

"I think it's gonna be hard for her…" Monica replied, a touch of sadness to her voice… "She said something before…"

"Oh. So, we can't be together for a while then…"

She chuckled at the sound of disappointment in his voice… "**No**… we can **be** together, we just have to be **sneaky** about it."

He smiled, his grin so sweet and playful it made her smile wider… "Aaaahhhh, I see. Yeah, we can do that. We've done it before."

She touched his lips, running her finger along them before moving to his chin… "Exactly."

"I don't think I could be without you for **hours** let alone days or weeks!"

"You won't have to," she assured him… "You're stuck with me now."

"Why am I suddenly thrilled and frightened, all at the same time?" he quipped, his eyes twinkling with mischief…

"Cause relationships are scary?" She answered his question with a question, playing along with his wisecrack...

"I was thinking more along the lines of: because **you** are scary."

She slapped him playfully, then kissed where her hand had made contact… "And as your punishment for such a remark, we're gonna 'go' again!"

"That doesn't sound like punishment…" he smirked…

"It might be," she raised her eyebrows suggestively… "**If** you don't be good…"

He pretended to recoil from the possibilities… "I'll be good."

"Good boy. Now, kiss me."

"Woof."

*****~*****

--"Hey! Pheebs! We're back!" Joey exclaimed as he, along with Chandler and Monica, entered Monica's apartment…

Phoebe struggled to stand, her swollen belly making such a simple task difficult… "Good. Fine. Where's my presents?"

They all dropped their smiles and fished into their bags, handing over gift-wrapped souvenirs… Chandler held his up as if it were an offering to some ancient king. 

Phoebe faked a chuckle, then glared as she collected the gifts from each of them… 

Joey, Monica, and Chandler shared looks as she struggled to sit at the dining table…

She started with Joey's, and he smiled as she tore away the paper and opened the box, hoping she would like it.

She peered into the box, discovering a tall soft hat, royal blue with a British flag pictured on the front. 

She looked between it and Joey, then put it on her head… "Who am I? Cat-in-the-Hat??" She then yanked the hat off her head and dropped it to the table… "Who's next?"

Monica timidly pushed her gift towards her, and Chandler patted Joey's back as he pouted…

"You couldn't have picked her up an unused gift, huh?" Chandler whispered sotto to Joey…

Joey frowned and shrugged… "Ran out of money."

Phoebe scowled as she ripped the paper off of Monica's present, but once the gift came into view, her expression changed and she smiled… "A porcelain doll?"

Monica exhaled in relief at Phoebe's reaction… "Yeah, it's the flag guard."

"Thanks Monica," Phoebe strained to hug her… "It's so pretty!"

Chandler, seeing Phoebe as not so scary and moody, inched his gift towards her with confidence.

She smiled as she ripped the paper free to produce a 'Big Ben' miniature clock. She looked at him with an add expression, like he'd lost his mind…

"See, Pheebs, it's a real clock! It does the chimes and everything!"

"So every hour on the hour I can be reminded that I didn't get to go?!?"

Chandler winced and backed away slightly…

She dramatically pushed the clock back across the table towards him, sighing loudly with great irritation… "And I suppose I'll have to wait till Ross and Rachel get back from their **_honeymoon_** before I'll get **their** gifts!"

"Well, yeah sweetie," Monica stated softly… "But I'm sure they got you something really nice…"

"Are you?! Are you sure?!" she snipped, then struggled to stand, waddling to the bathroom and slamming the door…

"What's wrong with her?" Joey asked, concerned and irritated…

"She's just hormonal…" Monica explained… "And sad cause she didn't get to go to London."

Joey scowled and nodded… "I'll be back…" He grabbed his carry-on bag off the floor and walked out the door…

Chandler looked at Monica and cracked a tiny smile… "He's really worried about her…" he confided… "She's been really different since the pregnancy. I think he thinks he's lost her as a friend."

"She'll be fine once she has the babies…" Monica stated as she began to clean up the wrapping paper…

"You had said that she might have a hard time giving up the babies?" he asked as he helped her… "What did she say to you?"

She looked over at the bathroom door to be sure it was still closed, then leaned in and spoke very quietly… "She said she was bummed because it was almost over, and that usually, when you're done with the pregnancy, you get to be a mom, and she doesn't get to be."

"Wow."

"Yeah. She'll be ok though… just might take a while, ya'know?"

"Yeah."

"Especially if she gets 'baby blues'."

His brow wrinkled in confusion… "What's that?"

"Postpartum depression? A lot of moms get it. Hormonal changes causes the mom to get really depressed."

"You sure know a lot about this stuff…"

She shrugged… "I've done some reading… since she's gotten pregnant…"

"Is there anything we can do to help her?"

"We just need to be there for her."

"Of course."

The bathroom door flew open and Phoebe waddled out… "You **think** you have to pee! You sit **down** to pee! You **wait** to pee! But you don't have to **pee**! It's just a baby sitting on your **bladder**! Squeezing it like a **squeak toy**!"

Chandler approached, trying to be helpful… "Phoebe? Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yeah! You can tell the babies to stop kicking my bladder like a soccer ball!" she snipped as she struggled to sit on the couch…

Chandler looked to Monica who just shrugged in response…

"Ok, umm, well, I guess I can try…" He knelt down next to Phoebe and inched his face closer to her protruding abdomen… "Um, hello? Little babies? Um, could you stop kicking your Aunt Phoebe in the bladder? You're hurting her…"

She squinted at him… "Is that how you're going to discipline your own kids? You don't ask! You tell!"

He flinched when she yelled, then nodded and leaned in again… "Babies!" he said firmly, placing his hands on her stomach… "You stop kicking your Aunt Phoebe right this minute!" Just then one of the babies kicked and he jumped back when he felt it… "Defiant, aren't they?"

"What good are you?" Phoebe snipped, then waved him away…

He approached Monica who was standing in the kitchen and shrugged… "I tried." 

Just then Joey walked back into the apartment. He acknowledged Chandler and Monica briefly with a look before walking over to Phoebe and kneeling down next to her…

"I have something for you…" he stated softly…

She put down the magazine she had just seconds before picked up, then gave Joey her undivided attention…

He gave her a slight lop-sided smile, then handed her a small wrapped gift…

"What is this?" she asked as she took it from his hand…

"It's something I was **going** to give you after the babies were born, but, I thought maybe, you'd kinda like to have it now."

She ripped away the wrapping and opened the small box inside, gasping at what she saw. Inside the soft velvet box was a necklace. 

A necklace of white gold, with a pendant attached, also made of white gold, and on the pendant it had the inscription: 'World's best aunt'.

She started to cry, and Monica quickly dashed to the bathroom to grab her a box of kleenex…

Joey grimaced and began to fidget, thinking she was upset with his gift… "I'm sorry! I'll take it back! You can take it back! Get anything you want!"

"Joey…" she whimpered through her tears… "I love it. I'm not crying cause I don't like it, I'm crying cause I **do**."

He sighed with relief, wrapping his arms around her when she reached for him…

"You're the greatest…" she whispered… "I'm sorry I've been so bitchy lately…"

"It's fine, Pheebs. We just hate seeing you so upset…" Monica interjected, and Chandler nodded in response…

Joey broke the hug and took the necklace out of the box, undoing the clasps and extending the opened ends towards Phoebe… "May I?" he asked, offering to help her put it on…

She smiled and nodded… "Thanks for being so understanding guys. And I'm sorry I complained about the souvenirs. I'm just irritated that I didn't get to go."

"Maybe after you have the babies we can go somewhere?" Joey suggested…

Phoebe smiled… "That might be fun…"

"Yeah!" Joey exclaimed… "And, ya'know Pheebs, we really missed you being there."

"Of course you did," she scoffed… "I'm loads of fun to travel with!" 

Chandler, Monica, and Joey smiled over her comment as she looked at her new necklace with quiet awe.

*****~*****

--Ross and Rachel bounded through the door excitedly…

"We're back!" they both said in unison…

Immediately, Chandler, Monica, and Joey jumped up to greet them… Phoebe moved much slower due to her huge stomach…

Hugs were exchanged and several overlapping conversations and laughter made the scene noisy and chaotic… but no one minded.

"Did you bring me souvenirs?" Phoebe asked, and Joey and Chandler instinctively moved back…

Ross' smile dropped slightly… "Well, we **did** get you souvenirs, but they're in our bags at home."

Phoebe sighed… "Figures…"

Rachel quickly reached into her purse and produced a video… "We **did** bring the wedding video though!"

Phoebe snagged it from her hand and held it up excitedly… "Yay! Let's watch it!" She turned towards Monica's VCR, then stopped cold…

"Pheebs? What's--" Joey didn't even finish the question when he saw the problem… "Phoebe?! You're leaking!"

"Oh my God, Phoebe! Your water broke!" Monica announced as all eyes moved to the puddle on the floor beneath Phoebe…

"Yeah. I feel that." Phoebe uttered softly, then began to head for the VCR again… "So, Let's pop some popcorn to eat while we watch the tape!"

"Phoebe!" Chandler called out… "We have to take you to the hospital now!"

She turned, facing Chandler and her friends, everyone making similar comments and nodding in agreement…

She forcefully slapped the video into Joey's hand and huffed… "I'm **NEVER** gonna get to see this wedding!"

She stormed towards the door and everyone shared looks of bewilderment…

Phoebe stopped at the door… "You guys **COMIN'** or **NOT**?!"

With various comments of affirmation, they all fell quickly in line behind Phoebe as they headed out the door.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…

--In: 'The One Where Chandler Comforts Phoebe'


	10. The One Where Chandler Comforts Phoebe

**__**

The One Where Chandler Comforts Phoebe

Chapter Ten

Continued from: 'TOW The Souvenirs'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--They arrived at the hospital, immediately approaching the nurse's station…

"Um, hi…" Phoebe said to the first nurse she saw… "I have babies coming out of me."

"Babies?" The nurse asked innocently…

"Yeah, it's called multiples! Ever hear of it?!"

The nurse smiled awkwardly at her, then at the rest of the group gathered around her…

"She's in some pain…" Chandler offered as an explanation for her outburst… 

The nurse nodded slightly, the odd smile still plastered on her face, then extended to Phoebe a clipboard with several papers attached… "You need to fill these out."

Phoebe just looked at her in shock… "You have **GOT** to be kidding me!"

Chandler quickly grabbed the clipboard… "I'll fill them out for you, Pheebs…"

"It's standard procedure…" the nurse assured… "Did you fill out a pre-reservation pack?"

"All the papers at Lamaze class?" Phoebe asked, and the nurse nodded… "Yeah. Weeks ago."

"Then you can forgo these for now…" she stated as she gestured for Chandler to hand back the clipboard. 

"K, got ahold of Frank…" Ross informed as he clicked off his cell phone and approached… "They're in Delaware visiting Alice's relatives or something… but they're on their way."

"Oh **GREAT**! That's just **perfect**! Now who's gonna be my coach?!" She sounded angry at first, then burst into tears… "I don't wanna do this alone!" she wailed…

Everyone was dumbfounded and unsure of how to respond…

Joey fidgeted at the sight of her tears… "I'll be your coach Pheebs…"

She almost instantaneously stopped crying as she looked up at him… "Have you ever coached before?"

"Well, um, no. But, I can be there for you! And put a wet washcloth on your forehead and stuff…"

"And fetch me ice chips when my mouth is dry?" She asked…

Joey smiled… "Sure."

"Yeah, **THANKS**!" she barked… "But there are **NURSES** who do **THAT**!"

Joey's smile dropped and he looked down at the floor sadly…

"Oh, God, don't do that!" Phoebe pleaded… "I hate the 'Tribbiani sad face'!" She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head… "Fine! You can be my coach! It's better than doing this by myself…"

Joey cracked a small apprehensive grin, suddenly wondering if volunteering for the position was such a good idea…

"Well, good luck then!" Chandler exclaimed, hugging her quick, then glancing over at a worried Joey with a look that seemed to be saying 'Better you than me'…

Everyone else followed suit and hugged her, wishing her good luck…

"Yeah, ok, thanks…" she muttered, then grabbed Joey's hand and started dragging him away, ignoring the orderly with the wheelchair…

"Let's get this **OVER** with!" she snapped, and Joey looked behind him at the other friends as she pulled him away, his expression looking something like a man being drug away to war against his will…

They all looked at each other after Phoebe and Joey were out of sight…

"I'm really gonna miss Joey…" Chandler quipped… "Cafeteria?" he suggested… they all nodded…

*****

--Ross and Rachel made kissy faces at one-another as they sat at the small formica table in the hospital cafeteria, waiting to hear word from Joey about Phoebe… or word from Frank and Alice.

Monica looked at her brother and sister-in-law's open display of affection, then looked to Chandler, silently telling him with her eyes and expression that she wished they could be doing the same.

She wanted to be there for Phoebe, knowing after she gave birth she would want her friends gathered around her, but she also wanted to be in Chandler's arms. 

If everyone knew about them, she could be sitting on Chandler's lap and kissing his delicious lips… but everyone **didn't** know. No one knew. And they couldn't tell anyone because they had to wait and see how Phoebe was going to emotionally handle handing over the babies to her brother Frank.

--While Ross and Rachel were busy feeding each other disgusting hospital food and kissing, Chandler discreetly reached under the table and gave Monica's hand a squeeze… it would have to do till later, and she squeezed him back. 

--"There you guys are!" Joey exclaimed as he entered the cafeteria, heading straight for them…

All four stood as he approached…

"How is she?" Monica asked…

"Ok. She's cranky cause she's in pain, but ok. Any word on Frank and Alice yet?"

"They were able to get on the first available flight out…" Ross informed… "They should be here in, like, three/four hours…"

Joey nodded, then grabbed the untouched half-of-sandwich off Chandler's plate and took a big bite…

"Joey! That's a TURKEY sandwich!"

"So?!" Joey asked, his mouth full, his voice muffled… "She's giving birth! She can't eat till the babies are born, DR said, I'm eating **MEAT**!" He pointed the sandwich at Chandler like a weapon, then grabbed a handful of chips off the plate, shoving them into his pocket. He took another huge bite out of the sandwich, then turned and walked out.

Chandler looked over at the rest of the group and smiled… "It's like when you try to take a bone away from a dog…"

*****

--It was time to start pushing, and Frank and Alice still weren't there…

"I'll still be here Pheebs…" Joey assured her as he wiped her brow with a cool wet washcloth…

"Thanks Joey," she panted, trying to do her Lamaze breathing… "I love you."

He smiled… "I love you too."

"Ok, it's time to start pushing…" the DR instructed… "With your next contraction Miss Buffay…"

*****

--Joey ran out into the waiting room to the four waiting friends, all anxious to know what was going on with Phoebe and the babies…

"It's a boy!" Joey announced excitedly… "Little Frank Jr. Jr.!"

"Awww…" Rachel cooed… "How does the baby look?"

"Gross!" He made a disgusted face… "And slimy! And he turned colors, like, 3 times!" He shuddered, then turned on his heel and walked back to the labor room…

--A short time later Joey was back out in the waiting room to give an update…

"Second baby is the girl… little Leslie."

"How's Phoebe holding up?" Monica asked…

"She's fine…" he informed… "A real trooper!" He gestured back towards where he came from, then turned and went back in…

--Joey entered the waiting room and grinned… "Third baby is here…" he informed them… "Little Chandler. Only thing…" his grin seemed to grow wider… "It's a girl."

"What?" Chandler asked, as if he hadn't heard him right the first time…

Joey chuckled… "Chandler's a girl."

--It felt like sweet revenge to Joey. Back when Frank and Alice asked Phoebe to name the third triplet, who at the time was thought to be a boy, it was narrowed down to 'Joey' or 'Chandler'. Phoebe picked 'Chandler' because the adult Chandler tricked her. 

He pretended to hate his name, in the hopes that Phoebe would pick the name as proof that it was a good name. His plan worked, and Phoebe **did** pick 'Chandler' for the third triplet, the second boy baby. Only, the sonogram was wrong… the third triplet was a girl, not a boy…

--"Chandler's a girl…" Joey repeated, and Chandler glared at him…

"Ok, you can stop saying it now!" Chandler snipped at his gloating friend…

"Is Phoebe ok?" Monica asked as she rubbed Chandler's back in sympathy…

"Yeah. Tired, but ok."

"Can we go see her?" Rachel asked…

"Yeah. I think so." Joey replied, looking around as if the answer to that question was in the air around them…

Just then Frank and Alice flew out of the elevator and to the group of five they immediately recognized…

"How is she? Did she give birth yet?" Alice asked frantically…

"Yeah…" Joey nodded… "They're all fine, but, the sonogram was wrong…"

"What?" Alice asked, concerned…

Frank gripped his wife's hand… "How so?"

"No, no…" Joey assured them… "Everything is fine. It's just, Chandler's a girl." 

Chandler could tell Joey was fighting to keep from grinning… "I'll be right back…"

Monica watched him walk away, then excused herself to follow him…

--"Chandler! Wait up!"

He turned to acknowledge her, then stopped so she could catch up…

"Hey. What's wrong?"

He shrugged as he kicked at the ground… "Nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing…" She took his hand in both her hands… "Are you upset cause baby Chandler is a girl?"

"No." he cocked his head in frustration… "It's not that…"

"Then, what?"

"It's just--" He shook his head, dropping his gaze to the floor… "I just thought it was kinda neat… ya'know? Having a little baby named after me…"

"Yeah…"

"All through school… through jobs or whatever… I have never run across another 'Chandler'…" He sighed… "I just thought it would be neat. And we'd have, like, a special bond… that no one else had with him, cause we had the same name. And when he'd come by to see Phoebe, we'd be buddies…"

"Wow. I had no idea it meant that much to you."

He shrugged… "And now, I won't have that."

She hugged him, running her hand through the hair at the nape of his neck…

"And it doesn't help ease the pain when Joey keeps teasing me."

"He's just being weird. You know he loves you."

"I guess." He pulled her tighter to him… "I can't wait to 'have' you tonight."

"Ditto. I love that I have the apartment to myself now. It makes sneaking around with you so much easier."

Chandler peeked around, just to be sure no one was watching them, then leaned in and kissed her…

"You feeling better now?" she asked as they broke away… he nodded. "Let's go see Phoebe, hmmm?"

"Yeah. Ok."

*****

--"We are so proud of you Pheebs…" Monica patted her arm… "You did it!"

"So proud!" Rachel added… "Was it painful?"

Phoebe scoffed, as if that were an understatement… "Uh, yeah. You won't be able to handle it."

Rachel looked almost offended, and Ross took her hand in his…

"Pheebs, what are they gonna name the second girl baby?" Chandler asked, and Joey snickered… Chandler glared at him and he stopped, but his smile was still prominent…

"They're gonna name her 'Chandler'." Phoebe replied…

Chandler squinted in confusion… "But, isn't that kinda odd? To name a girl a boy name?"

"Odder than naming a baby 'Frank **JR. JR.**?" Phoebe asked with a slight chuckle…

Monica nudged Chandler… "She's got a point…"

Everyone laughed, including Chandler, who made a gesture of understanding…

*****~*****

--"So, are you ok with baby '**Chandler**' being a girl and not a boy?" Monica asked as she snuggled with Chandler in her bed…

"Yeah. I think I'm gonna have to listen to a lot of snickering from Joey for a while, but it's ok…"

"Good…" she murmured in his ear, kissing his neck a moment later, inciting a low moan from him… 

"I thought you were too tired to 'go' again?" he asked, certain where her affections were leading him…

"Maybe I changed my mind."

He smirked… "Maybe? You're not sure?"

She smirked back, then climbed on top of him and started rubbing against him… he moaned again…

"You keep that up and I won't make it past the appetizer, let alone to dessert… if you know what I mean…"

She continued her movements… an almost torture, and he reached up to caress her bare skin. He groaned, then gathered her into his arms and flipped over with her, pinning her to the bed…

"I need you…" he moaned softly into her ear…

She smiled and grabbed his neck, bringing his lips to hers. 

The kiss that followed was beyond passionate, and they made love with intensity until they collapsed in each other's arms, falling asleep quickly as the events of the day caught up with them.

*****~*****

--"Ya'know, they say giving birth is the hardest thing you'll ever have to go through…" she shook her head grimly… "Wrong. Giving birth isn't the hardest thing, giving them up is."

"I'm sorry Pheebs…" Monica soothed as she put her arm around her friend… "Is there anything we can do?"

"Well, could I maybe stay here with you? In Rachel's old room for a bit? I just don't feel like being alone…"

"Monica glanced at Chandler briefly before responding… "Sure, sweetie. Anything you need…"

"Thanks…" she murmured softly… "I'll go grab a few things from my place and be back…"

"Phoebe…" Chandler spoke up… "I'll go with you to help, ok?"

She shrugged… "Ok. Thanks."

As Phoebe headed for the door, Chandler looked over at Monica, feeling her eyes on him. She mouthed the words 'Thank you', and Chandler smiled, nodding his head.

--He knew how worried Monica had been about Phoebe, and he could see the concern on her face when Phoebe suggested going alone to gather her things. He didn't quite get Monica's concern… Phoebe seemed ok to him… a little down maybe, but not, like, super depressed or anything. Still, Monica would know better than he, so he followed her lead in the matter.

--Chandler and Phoebe got to her place and Chandler looked around her livingroom briefly before following Phoebe to her room…

"Ok, where's your suitcase? What do you need packed?"

She sat heavily on her bed and began to cry…

Chandler backed away slightly, her tears making him uncomfortable, then he moved to sit beside her… wrapping his arm around her…

"Phoebe?"

"I'm sorry…" was all she said in reply as she buried her face in the hollow of his shoulder and sobbed…

"It's ok…" he whispered as he rubbed her back… "It's gonna be ok…"

His mind frantically searched for the word Monica used for this… *Something depression…* He continued to console her, his brow wrinkled in concentration. Finally, it came to him… *Postpartum depression.*

"Pheebs, ya'know, I think a lot of women get this postpartum depression thing after they have a baby. You should maybe tell your DR about it… so she can help…"

She nodded, her face still buried… "I will…" she whimpered… "I just miss them so much. I even miss the kicking…"

"You did a wonderful thing Pheebs, ya'know? And Frank and Alice are so happy. And I know it's hard, but we're all here for you… k?"

She pulled back and wiped her tears… "Thanks Chandler. It's no wonder why Monica cares so much for you…" 

She stood and reached for her suitcase off the top shelf of the closet, struggling with the task, but Chandler made no move to help her. He was too floored by her comment…

"Chandler? A little help?"

Her request pulled him out of his thoughts, and he jumped up to give her a hand…

"Pheebs?" he broached the subject carefully as she grabbed clothes from her dresser… "What did you mean by that? About Monica…"

Phoebe shrugged as she threw underwear into the suitcase… "Whenever she's upset… you always seem to be there for her." She closed her dresser drawer and moved over to the closet, yanking clothes off hangers and tossing them at Chandler… "It's sweet."

He sighed in relief… "Oh. Thanks."

She stopped what she was doing and eyed him curiously… "What did you **think** I meant?"

He fought not to panic… "I didn't know! That's why I asked!"

She watched him for just a moment, then went back to her task, much to the relief of Chandler…

"I'll want my guitar…" she informed, pointing at it, and Chandler nodded and grabbed it…

"Is that everything then?" he asked as he set the guitar on the bed, then closed and locked the suitcase…

"Yeah. Just need some toiletries and then, that's it."

He sat on her bed and waited for her to return, looking around the room that just screamed 'Phoebe'. Candles everywhere, odd bits of knick-knacks and pictures that looked like they were purchased at a thrift store… even her furniture looked second hand.

He smiled and shook his head… *No wonder Phoebe and Monica couldn't live together…* he thought, looking around at the disarray. She wasn't sloppy by any means, but she was just too 'out there'… her décor had no rhyme or reason to it what-so-ever.

--"I'm ready now…" she sniffled, her eyes puffy from crying…

Chandler stood and gathered her into his arms… "I wish I knew what to do…" he muttered into her hair… "I wish you weren't so sad…"

"Same here." She pulled back from his embrace, then looked into his eyes… "I never really noticed how blue your eyes are…" She reached up and touched his cheek, then leaned forward and kissed his lips…

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	11. The One With The Palm Reading

**__**

The One With The Palm Reading

Continued from: 'TOW Chandler Comforts Phoebe'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Phoebe sniffled, her eyes puffy from crying, and Chandler stood, gathering her into his arms, 

"I wish I knew what to do…" he muttered into her hair… "I wish you weren't so sad…"

"Same here." She pulled back from his embrace, then looked into his eyes… "I never really noticed how blue your eyes are…" She reached up and touched his cheek, then leaned forward and kissed his lips.

--His reaction was delayed, due to shock mostly, but then he jumped back…

"Pheebs?" he questioned her actions with just the use of her name…

She closed her eyes tight at the rejection… "I'm sorry…" Tears fell faster down her face, and he winced as he realized why.

"I love you Pheebs, as a friend, but I do love you."

"I'm just messed up… is all. I didn't mean to put you in such an awkward position…"

"It's ok." He gathered her into his arms again and held her tightly… "It's just… my heart belongs to someone else…"

She pulled back… "What? Since when? Who is she?"

He fidgeted… "I'm not supposed to say."

She squinted… "Why?"

"She asked me not to. For now…"

"Well, she's a lucky woman."

He chuckled as he let her out of his embrace… "You're just saying that cause you're trying to suck up to me. Find out who my secret girlfriend is."

She smiled at his humor… "Well, ya'know, I **might** know…" she muttered, teasing him… "I am, after all, psychic, remember?"

He'd started to tense, but relaxed when he realized that Phoebe was just playing with him… "Right. Psychic. Well, here Pheebs. Here's my palm. Tell me who you see me with."

She grinned before sitting on the bed, patting the bed next to her as she got comfortable, gesturing for him to join her. Smiling, he sat beside her and offered her his hand. 

She looked happier right then than she had in quite a while, and he was pleased with himself for finding something that took her mind off her sadness… even if it was only for a short time.

She turned his hand palm up, then smoothed it so he would lay his fingers out flat. She ran her fingers along the little crevices and lines, and it tickled some, causing Chandler to smile…

"You have a long life line…" she informed… "And I see a lot of sadness in the beginning of the life line." She stopped her finger and pushed just slightly… "Right about here, I see some major changes in your heart." She moved a little further down the line… "I see some commitment here… and some worry, but mostly happiness."

He smiled and nodded…

"She's someone you've known for a while…" she went on… "She's your junior by age, but not by mentality." She moved to a knew line and started running her finger along it… "She's been patient with you, though patience is not her strong suit." She looked into his face… "You have put her off several times before committing…" she smiled… "Interesting." She gestured for his other hand and he complied…

"You and her as a couple… mismatched, but it works. Your differences complement each other." She looked up and smiled… "Wanna know if it's going to last?"

He squinted… "You can **see** that?" She nodded. "Sure."

"You will get married, and have 2 children, both girls. You're marriage will last."

"Are you just making this stuff up?"

"No! It's not an exact science, and one's life isn't necessarily etched in stone, but as I see it, and interpret what I see, what I just told you is true."

"Huh." He didn't exactly believe her, but it was interesting…

"Now… on to who this mystery woman is…" She smoothed his hand out again and moved to a new line… "She's kind and considerate… intelligent… she's controlling and bossy and set in her ways…" she looked up at him and chuckled… "Almost sounds like Monica."

Chandler's eyes grew wide and he yanked his hand away from her, jumping off the bed and backing away from her…

Phoebe's mouth dropped open… "It's **Monica**?!?"

"**No it's not**!" he lied loudly…

She ignored his denial… "When did this happen?" 

"It's **not** Monica!"

"Are you guys in love? Who else knows? Am I the last to know?" Her questions came one after the other, giving him no chance to answer, not that he would have… and he started pacing as his anxiety sky-rocketed…

"Pheebs! It's **NOT** Monica!" He desperately wanted her to believe him, but she didn't… 

He grabbed her suitcase and guitar off the bed… "We better get going…" He headed for the door… "Ok?" he asked sheepishly, stopping at the door and peeking back at her…

She smirked… "Fine. Yeah… let's go." She stood and grabbed her toiletry bag off the bed…

"Pheebs? You won't tell Mon, will you?"

"Tell her what?"

He sighed… "Thanks."

"No problem." She kissed his cheek… "And congratulations."

He blushed… "Thanks."

*****

--Chandler and Phoebe walked through the door, being immediately met by Monica…

"We're back!" Chandler called out…

"Yes, I see that…" Monica smiled, then turned to Phoebe… "How'ya feelin sweetie?"

Phoebe set her small bag on the table… "I'm actually kinda tired, so, can I go lie down for a bit?"

Monica nodded… "Sure sweetie, anything you want."

"Thanks…" She walked into Rachel's old room, smiling at Chandler discreetly before she closed the door…

Monica was taken aback when she caught the smile that passed between her friend and her lover… "What was that smile for?"

"What?" Chandler asked, going to the fridge and grabbing a YooHoo…

"Phoebe just smiled at you…" she told him with quiet resolve…

"Did she?" he asked, popping his drink open, then tossing the cap in the trash…

She could tell he was avoiding the issue… "Chandler! What's going on?" 

"It's nothing, ok?"

The more he refused to answer, the more jealous she became. She knew it was ridiculous to be jealous of Phoebe… she had no interest in Chandler… right? 

If he had just answered her, she wouldn't have thought anything of it, but when he avoided answering, her mind flew to the worst scenario…

"If it's nothing, then you can tell me!" she snipped, her voice low so Phoebe wouldn't hear…

He looked at her, a slight smirk… "Monica? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were jealous."

"Don't be silly!" she dismissed him, a nervous chuckle following. She watched him closely as he moved to sit on the couch, his demeanor casual… "I don't have a reason to be, do I?"

"No, Mon, you don't."

"Then, tell me, what was the smile for?"

He took a breath… "Ok, but it's no big deal, ok?"

She sat next to him… "Ok…" She had a feeling she wasn't going to like what was about to be said…

"She kissed me."

"What?!"

"She was sad and crying and I hugged her… and she, sorta, complimented my eyes, then she… kissed me."

"And what did **you** do?"

He chuckled… "You **are** jealous!"

"Chandler…" her tone of voice told him not to make light of the situation… "What did **you** do after she kissed you?"

"I pulled away. Told her I loved her like a friend… she apologized. She only did it cause she was sad. It didn't mean anything."

Monica scowled as she nodded… "Ok…"

"I told her my heart belonged to another." He smiled as he brushed her cheek with his thumb…

"You told her that?" she asked with a bright forgiving smile…

"Mmm-hmm."

"I'm surprised she didn't bug you to death wanting to know details!" she chuckled slightly, but seeing the look on his face change, she stopped, and her smile dropped… "Chandler? You didn't tell her, did you?"

He recoiled, and inched away from her slightly… "Not exactly…"

"Then **what** exactly?"

"Well, she-- she said she could tell by reading my palm! You know, the whole psychic thing! How was I supposed to know she really could?!"

"She knows?!"

"I didn't admit it!" He defended himself… "I told her it wasn't you! But, yeah… she pretty much knows." He placed his hand on hers… "I'm sorry! I didn't do it on purpose or anything!"

She just stared at the ground, her face scrunched in concentration… "Well, what did she say?"

"When? All of it? Cause I don't think I can remem--"

"No…" she interrupted… "After you denied it was me that you were in the relationship with."

He shrugged… "Ummm… I told her we needed to go, and she dropped it. Then…" he strained to remember… "Then she congratulated me and kissed my cheek."

"Well, as well as she can keep a secret, we're gonna **have** to tell everyone now. Now that one knows, they all need to know."

He nodded… "Ok. When?"

"Tomorrow night. We'll have dinner here…"

"Ok." He sighed… "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"No. I'm not mad at you. It's sooner than I wanted to do this… but, it's fine."

"You're sure? You seem upset…"

She smiled… "Just thinking. Don't worry…"

He smiled and nodded… "Ya'know, Phoebe really had me freaked out when she was reading my palms…"

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"Just-- she said stuff about our relationship…"

"Like what?"

"She knew things. Like, that I put you off before committing, and that we'd known each other a long time." He smiled… "She said we were gonna make it."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"That **is** interesting."

"You know what else is interesting?" he asked with a sly grin…

"What?"

"That I've been in your presence for nearly 15 minutes and I have not yet received a kiss…"

She smirked… "Well, let's remedy that, shall we?"

"Lets." He leaned in and kissed her lips softly, his hand sliding through her hair, his free arm snaking around her waist… "Bedroom…" he whispered…

"What about Phoebe?" she asked, looking past him and to the bedroom door that Phoebe was behind…

"She knows, remember? Besides, she's sleeping…"

Monica grinned… "You have a point there…" She stood and smiled slyly as she moved past him and headed for her room…

He stood, then proceeded to do his little 'happy Chandler dance'…

"Don't do the dance." She ordered without even turning around…

"Sorry…" he apologized, then smiled and followed her into her room… as sprightly as a child in a toy store.

*****

--"What's the matter babe?" Chandler asked, Monica's demeanor seeming off as they lay naked in each other's arms, still recovering from making love.

She snuggled up tighter against him, her fingers lazily drawing intricate patterns across his chest, "Nothing…" she sighed, "Just thinking about how much I love you…"

"I love you too." he smiled and kissed her hair, "You're worried about telling everyone, aren't you?"

He knew her better than she would've thought possible, and she nodded just slightly in response…

"They're our friends, Mon… they're gonna be happy for us."

"Oh, I know… it's not that…"

"Then what is it?"

"Well, it's just… I know they're gonna ask questions. And, well, I don't come off looking so good…"

"What do you mean?"

"How I've chased you for years? Had sex with you without the commitment **just** to have you **at all**? They'll judge me."

He instantly felt bad. He knew she didn't say it to make him feel that way, but he did. 

"Nothing says we have to tell them **everything**, right? Just keep it simple. There was something there for a while, and it finally happened in London. If they pester for more, we'll just tell them that they are our private memories and we're not sharing."

"Once everyone knows…" she uttered softly… "It'll be, like, official… ya'know?"

"I know…" He knew what she was doing… "Are you trying to give me an 'out', Monica?"

She averted her eyes… "Do you want an 'out'?"

"Do you **want** me to want an 'out'?"

She leaned back and looked into his eyes… "What?"

He chuckled softly, "I'm not looking to get out of this, Mon. I meant what I said before… I want to try to make this work… ok?"

"Ok…" she smiled… "I'm sorry, it's just, everything is about to change… **a lot**… and I guess I'm nervous."

"You're not the only one…" he chuckled… "You sure **you're** not looking for an out? Cause believe me, I wouldn't blame you…"

"No, Chandler, I'm not looking for an out. I'm committed to making this work… but, I've wanted this for so long, and now that I have it--"

"You wondered why you wanted it?" he asked with a smile…

"No…" she scowled playfully… "I've wanted this for so long, and **now that I have it**-- I guess it just seems almost surreal. Like I'll be waking up from this dream any minute now and you won't be here."

"You make me self-conscious when you say stuff like that…" he whispered… "I'm just Chandler… I'm not the man of anyone's dreams…"

"You are though…"

"Why?"

"Why?" she repeated… "Are you asking me why I love you?"

"I guess I am…"

She sighed… "Probably the hardest question one could ever ask. It's hard to put into words…"

"Try?"

"Are you that insecure?"

He smirked… "You have to ask?"

"You're sweet, kind, funny… you're sexy. You make me feel sexy… you're incredible in bed…"

He scoffed… "No I'm not…"

She shook her head… "You sell yourself short."

"Well, after years on the auction block… and you're the first bidder…"

"Oh, that's not true!" she patted his abdomen scoldingly… "Janice? Kathy?"

"Never sang my praises like you do, believe me."

"Well, that's because you weren't meant to be with them…" she touched his nose with impish affection… "You were meant to be with me."

He smiled… "And therefore, we're compatible?"

"Right."

"Interesting."

The sound of a guitar could be heard from out in the livingroom, and soon after the odd melody began, Phoebe's distinct singing followed…

"They thought they were hiding it all from their kin, but one dear old friend is here wearing a grin. She knows more than most, both in love and in life, but the question remains, will he make her his wife? Some will hear say that it's too soon to tell, if the couple in question do hear wedding bells. But I was the one who read Chandler's hand, so all Monica need do now is pick out the band."

Monica and Chandler came flying out of the bedroom, straight to Phoebe who was sitting on the couch with her guitar…

"Pheebs…" Monica called her name…

Phoebe stopped playing and singing and set her guitar aside… "Hey! I thought you guys were asleep!"

"Not yet…" Chandler muttered, noting Monica's uneasiness at the song Phoebe was just composing…

"Phoebe, sweetie, I know you know and all--"

"Know?" she asked, interrupting her…

Monica sighed… "About me and Chandler…"

"Oh," she smiled… "Right."

"Right. But, I need you to **not** say anything and **not** sing songs about it till after we tell the others, ok?"

Phoebe nodded… "No one was here, so I didn't see the harm…"

"I know. It's just, what if Joey overheard from outside while coming home from a date or something, ya'know? I would just, really appreciate it if you didn't sing songs about us just yet… ok?"

Phoebe nodded… "Ok…"

"And on a completely un-paranoid note…" Chandler interjected… "You look like you feel a little better."

"Yeah. I do feel a little better. I think it's cause I'm so happy for you guys."

Chandler smiled… "So, we helped you get over your depression by being a couple?"

Phoebe chuckled… "Looks that way!"

"I'm not paranoid…" Monica added out of the blue… "I'm just being cautious."

Chandler and Phoebe both looked at her and laughed…

"C'mon, babe, let's go back to bed…"

"Just so I know…" Phoebe called out as they started to walk away, his arm around Monica… "When are you telling everyone? Cause I have some great song ideas!"

Monica was inwardly not all that excited about having songs written about her, but if it helped Phoebe get over her depression, she would 'lump it'… "Tomorrow night at dinner."

"Ok! Thanks! Night!"

"Night Pheebs…" Chandler smiled, continuing once again towards Monica's room…

--Once in the room, the door shut, Monica outwardly groaned… "We're gonna be among such favorites as 'Smelly Cat' and 'Double Jointed Boy'…"

"I know, but look how happy she is!"

She smiled… "Yeah. I know." She climbed into bed after dropping her robe and he joined her a second later… "I guess I just feel weird about having my love life sung about…"

"Yeah, but it's just Phoebe singing about it… and she's heard by what? Dozens of people?"

"Yeah…" Monica laughed… "Good point."

They settled down, snuggled up in each other's arms, and Chandler was almost asleep…

"What did she mean by that?" Monica's voice scared him out of his journey into dreamland.

"What? What about what?" he asked groggily.

"In her song: 'will there be wedding bells?' and 'I read Chandler's hand, so Monica only needs to pick out the band'. What was she talking about?"

"She said she read it in my palm that we're gonna get married… that's all." He yawned, "Go to sleep now, k?"

"Sorry. Go back to sleep." She kissed his cheek, then settled back in…

"Mmmm…" he hummed, then began to nod off again…

Monica, however, didn't. She smiled to herself as her mind buzzed…

"Mrs. Chandler Bing." She whispered to herself…

"Hmmm?" he murmured… "Did you say something?" his voice was slurred and sleepy.

"Sssshhhh…" she hissed softly… "Sleep."

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	12. The One With The Uninvited Dinner Guest

**__**

The One With The Uninvited Dinner Guest

Chapter 12

Continued from: 'TOW The Palm Reading'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--"I don't know why I go through the effort…" Monica complained as she busied herself with the preparations for dinner, rushing about the kitchen as Chandler watched from the safety of the couch…

"I don't either." he replied casually, his quip meant to lighten the mood.

She stopped her busy movements, her attention firmly planted on her boyfriend… "What's **that** supposed to mean?"

Chandler was confused by her angry tone and question… "What?"

"You heard me!" she snipped… "Exactly what did you mean by that wisecrack? Are you trying to say I can't cook?"

"No! No! That's not what I meant!" he replied frantically, jumping up from the couch and approaching her…

"Uh-huh! Right!" her tone was dripping with sarcasm, "Then, exactly what **did** you mean by that little remark, hmmm?"

"Monica, just calm down, ok? I just meant-- that our friends aren't like connoisseurs of great food or anything." he explained, "You could probably get the same result with sloppy joes."

"Well, excuse me for wanting this night to go well!"

"Monica, honey, it will go well, ok?" he shook his head, "Just… chill out, before you bust something."

Monica scowled in response… "You know what would make me 'chill'? **Not** having this dinner at **all**! **That's** what!" She slammed a pan on the stove for emphasis, then stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her once inside.

Chandler stared at the bathroom door for a moment, then his gaze dropped to his feet as he kicked at the floor,

"Well," he sighed, "So much for that."

--When Monica exited the bathroom a few minutes later, she looked around to find that Chandler was gone.

"Chandler?" she called his name, but she knew he wouldn't answer. She knew he wasn't there…

--"Hey, Mon?" Phoebe asked as she entered the livingroom from her bedroom, "I think I feel up to taking a shower… do I have time before dinner?"

Monica stared off into space, in a daze, but snapped back to reality at Phoebe's question, "Uh, sure. Yeah…"

Phoebe could tell she was upset… "Something wrong?"

Monica looked from the front door to Phoebe… "Yeah, I think I upset Chandler."

"Well, he isn't one to hold a grudge," Phoebe informed, "I'm sure everything will be fine…"

Monica shook her head, then nodded, "Yeah. Towels are on the top shelf…"

*****

--"Wow! Dinner smells great, Mon!" Rachel exclaimed as she entered her old apartment with her husband in tow…

"Yeah it does!" Ross agreed, "Are we the last to show?"

"Yeah, about that," Rachel interjected before the question could be answered… "Sorry we're late." She smiled sheepishly, "We were kinda… **busy**." The implication was clear.

"It's fine," Monica assured them, "We're still waiting on Chandler."

Phoebe smirked… "And you'd think **he** of all people would be here by now."

Monica glared discreetly at a grinning Phoebe… "I'm gonna go see what's taking him so long."

--She walked across the hall, poised to knock on his door, but stopped short. Instead, she reached for the knob, quietly turning it before pushing the door open slowly. What she saw, she was not prepared for, and her mouth dropped open in pure shock…

"Kathy?"

Chandler jumped at the sound of Monica's voice…

"Mon! I can explain!"

She glared before storming out, an apologetic Chandler following frantically…

"Mon, please! I didn't invite her! She just showed up!"

She spun around to confront him, still in the hall between her apartment and his… "She just happened to show up hours after we have an argument?! And tell me, did she put a gun to your head and force her way into your apartment?"

She turned on her heel and marched into her apartment, slamming the door in his face as she did.

He instantly opened the door and walked in… "Would you **please** just let me explain?!"

Monica stopped and turned… "Fine then! Explain!"

"I didn't invite her in! She pushed her way in!"

She exhaled sharply, "Why is she even here?!"

"She came to tell me that she wanted me back. That she'd made a mistake. I told her it was too late, Mon. I told her I had moved on."

"Had?!" she repeated… "As in **past tense**?!"

"No!" he snapped, irritated by her insinuations, "That is **not** what I meant!"

"This is about the argument we had earlier, isn't it?"

He shook his head, "It wasn't exactly an argument, was it? I just-- I hated seeing you so stressed out."

"You implied I couldn't cook!" she barked…

"No I didn't! You **assumed** I was saying that!" he barked back…

"And then you left!" she pointed at the door… "I thought it was because you were mad at me!"

"I left cause I thought **you** were mad at **me**!" he shot back, "You said you didn't even wanna **have** this dinner anymore!"

"That's not what I meant!" she sighed, exasperated…

"I thought that was it for us." He admitted, his tone calmer, almost sad…

She scoffed, "Over a fight?"

He shrugged in response then he looked around him. It was then that both Chandler and Monica realized… they had an audience.

They stood silent as they looked at their shocked and confused friends… neither knowing what to say at that moment.

"I think I can explain this." Phoebe offered, "You see, Chandler and Monica are dating. They're a couple!" she announced excitedly…

"Phoebe!" Monica scolded, wanting to be the one to share the news…

"Sorry," Phoebe apologized, "Was that not helpful?" 

"What?!" Joey asked in shock, "Oh my God! Are you serious?!"

Rachel, the news sinking in, started to squeal… "Oh my God! This is so great!" She threw her arms around a tense Monica and hugged her…

"You and Chandler?" Ross asked softly, his voice almost not being heard over the din of confusion and happy chatter…

"Congratulations!" Rachel shrieked as she hugged Monica, then she moved to hug Chandler… "Congratulations, Chandler!"

He hugged back reluctantly, one eye, so to speak, still on Ross, who just seemed in a daze…

"My baby sister and Chandler? My best friend?" Ross muttered to himself…

Monica eyed her brother warily, watching him for his reaction… "Ross?"

He looked at her, mouthing the word 'you', "And Chandler?" he added with a faint voice…

"Ross," her tone was almost scolding, "Don't get all big brother-y on me, ok?" Monica told him soft but firm, "I'm happy! You should be happy for me!"

"Ummm… yeah, but- cause- I, ummm- uh, why?" Ross stammered…

"Why am I happy?" Monica asked, trying to understand what he was asking…

"Now, sweetie," Rachel cooed, wrapping her arms around his neck, "We were friends at first too, remember?"

Ross moved his gaze from his sister to his wife, "But, what about the 'guy rule'?"

"Guy rule?" Phoebe questioned…

"You don't date your friend's old flames or relatives…'

"Or relatives of old flames." Joey added, "That gets **real** sticky."

"That's why you're all squinchy?" Phoebe asked, ignoring Joey's comment, "Because Chandler is your friend and Monica is your sister?"

Ross shrugged, "It breaks the rules." he reiterated.

Monica rolled her eyes and Rachel scoffed, "Sweetie, your little 'guy rule' is stupid."

"Hey!" Joey announced, "The 'guy rule' is NOT stupid!"

"No Joey," Rachel replied, "For YOU, the 'guy rule' is NOT stupid."

"When? When did this happen?" Ross asked, ignoring the banter between Joey and Rachel…

Chandler took Monica's hand in his and squeezed… "London… officially."

"London?!" Joey repeated, "Dude!" He gave Chandler a congratulatory smile and nod…

Ross shook his head, "During my wedding?"

"Not during," Monica clarified, "Before and after."

"Is **that** why you were in Chandler's room?"

"No," Monica shook her head, glancing at Chandler, "I was drunk. He was a perfect gentlemen."

Ross just scowled as he digested all that was being said… "Ok, so, now, what does this mean?"

"It means," Chandler replied, "That I care very much for your sister, and now, we are going to be dating."

Ross nodded, "Ok."

"Ok?" Monica repeated, "You mean you're ok with it?"

"Would it matter if I wasn't ok with it?" He asked, his tone challenging, but a smile quickly followed, "Yeah. I'm ok with it. I mean, it's kinda weird, but kinda neat too. And if you're happy, then, I'm happy for you…" He glanced at Chandler… "Both of you."

Chandler grinned, "Thanks, man."

Monica threw her arms around her brother, "Thank you Ross."

"Ok, so, was that it?" Joey asked, "Cause, I'm hungry and the food smells really good."

"Yes, Joey," Monica murmured, placating him, "That was it. We can eat."

"Good to know as long as there's food, Joey is flexible." Chandler quipped…

Monica leaned in, "Just so you know," she whispered, "This **isn't** over."

Chandler groaned, "Yes dear."

*****

--"Oh! And speaking of news," Rachel exclaimed, the dinner eaten and the group of friends sitting around the livingroom casually talking, "Ross and I have news."

"You're pregnant!" Joey guessed…

"No!" Rachel shot back…

"You're getting a divorce?" Phoebe offered…

"What?!" Rachel asked, shocked…

"No, it's just cause, that would be big news, right?" Phoebe justified her guess…

Rachel shook her head, "No, we're not getting a divorce," she assured them, "We're moving!"

"Moving?" Joey asked, his tone sounding worried…

"To where?" Monica inquired, her expression showing concern. She didn't want her brother and sister-in-law moving away…

Rachel smiled at Ross before answering, "Across the street!" she exclaimed excitedly, "Ugly naked guy is moving out!"

"He is?" Monica asked as she jumped up and headed for the large bay window, peering out across the street…

Chandler followed, then so did the rest…

"See?" Ross pointed out the apartment, "Boxes. He's moving out."

"How did you find out about this?" Chandler asked curiously, "The ad in the 'ugly naked guy' newsletter?"

Ross smirked, "No. I found out from a guy at work who put in for the apartment as well. Him and about a hundred others. But, ugly naked guy liked me better." he announced proudly…

"Really?" Joey asked, "How come?"

"Yeah. How'd you get picked over so many applicants?" Phoebe wondered aloud as well…

Rachel nudged him, "Go ahead, sweetie, tell them."

"It's no big deal." he dodged the request…

"Tell us!" Phoebe demanded…

"Yeah, c'mon!" Joey whined, "Tell us!"

Monica and Chandler then joined the 'tell us' brigade…

"Fine," Ross cut them off, "Fine. I-- I, kinda got… naked."

"What?!" everyone asked, almost in unison, shocked…

"It's no big deal, ok?" Ross downplayed it…

"Right," Chandler agreed, "It's no big deal… for prison inmates!"

Ross rolled his eyes at Chandler's quip…

"Just how far **would** you have gone to get that apartment?" Joey chuckled…

"Look, all I did was chat with him and eat mini-muffins while naked, ok? He's a nudist! I was trying to bond!"

"And just how much bonding was going on over there?" Chandler asked, struggling to keep a straight face…

Rachel came to his rescue, "Look, guys, enough razzing, ok? I really wanted the apartment, so he did what he had to do… that's all. And hey, it worked, right? Cause, we got the apartment!"

Monica shook her head and smiled, "Well, it's great! We'll be so close!"

"When do you move in?" Phoebe asked…

Ross sighed, glad to be moving on past his nudist adventure, "Next week."

"And we'll be needing some help." Rachel added…

"Busy!" Joey quickly spouted…

"Busy!" Chandler followed a second later…

Rachel glared at both of them…

"But, we'll put it off and help you guys," Chandler promised, "Right Joe?"

Joey scowled… 

"**Right** Joe?" Chandler repeated…

"Alright," he whined, "I'll help."

Ross acknowledged them with an up-nod, "Thanks guys."

"I'd help," Phoebe interjected, placing her hand on her flat stomach, "But I'm still recovering from having three babies."

"Yes Phoebe," Rachel put her arm around her, "You're excused."

*****

--"I know I committed faster to Kathy than to you, Mon, but that wasn't because I loved her more than I love you."

Monica wasn't going to let the 'Kathy' thing go, Chandler could tell. He wanted to just get passed it, make up and maybe have sex, but Monica wanted to have an in-depth conversation about his past relationship with the woman she obviously felt threatened by.

"It killed me seeing you with her. After all you said about being afraid to commit, and then there you were! Committed to her!"

"I wanted to prove I could do it." He explained, her odd expression pushing him to elaborate. "I wanted to see if I could make a relationship work without destroying it." he sighed, "I failed miserably."

"You didn't do anything wrong." Monica reminded, "**She** cheated on **you**."

"Because I accused her of it! I drove her to do it!"

"That's ridiculous! She didn't have to sleep with that guy just cause you accused her of having an affair!"

Heavily, he sat on the edge of the bed… "She obviously thought she did."

She paused, sighing before continuing. "Can I ask you a question?"

"If I say 'no', you're just gonna ask it anyway." When she glared at him for his smart-ass remark, he gestured for her to ask the question…

"Did you love Kathy?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, I think part of me did on some level, but, I kept thinking about you! I mean, how much could I have actually loved her if I kept thinking about you all the time?"

"So, if you kept thinking about me, why not just **date me**?"

His face fell into his hands and he sighed, "We've been through this Mon. Over and over. I was afraid, ok? I love you, but I'm scared. Scared of losing you. She was… safe. If I lost **her**, I wouldn't be destroyed emotionally."

"Still, you must've cared something for her." Monica continued to push the subject…

"Cared, Mon," he sighed, "Past tense. Kathy means nothing to me. I didn't ask her to come over and I didn't ask her to come in."

She looked around her bedroom, the room familiar, yet not as she viewed it through the tears pooled in her eyes… "But to see her standing there…"

"Look, Mon, I know if the tables were reversed and it was Richard standing in your apartment talking to you or whatever, I'd be upset too, but, believe me when I say, I made everything perfectly clear to Kathy. I told her I was in love, and it wasn't with her, and any chance at a reconciliation was just never going to happen."

"I'm sorry," she apologized weakly, "I'm not the jealous, mistrusting type usually…"

"I know that. You were already wound up cause of the dinner and because of the argument **before** the dinner." he reasoned, "I understand."

"It's no excuse." She shook her head, "If we're gonna make this work, there needs to be trust."

He nodded, "And do you trust me?" he asked, standing and facing her…

"Yes," she nodded, "I trust you."

Smiling, he wrapped his arms around her… "So, all is ok then."

She grinned, "I guess so."

"So, we've had our first fight as an actual couple, and we're none-the-worse-for-wear." He started to lean in for a kiss…

She moved slowly to meet his lips… "Looks that way." she muttered against his mouth…

His smile faded as he kissed her, one hand moving to her hair, holding her passionately to his lips, the other wrapping around her waist…

She knew what he wanted, and she wanted it too. She inched towards the bed and he followed her lead…

"Make love to me Chandler." she whispered as his lips traveled to her neck,

"Yessss." he hissed in response, his lips missing her as she moved to climb into bed. Once settled, he climbed in after her, his lips melding to hers once again. He hummed in response…

They stared deeply into each other's eyes, his hands touching her intimately, their gaze linking them emotionally as their bodies linked physically.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	13. The One With The Test

**__**

The One With The Test

Continued from: 'TOW The Uninvited Dinner Guest'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Monica walked into her apartment, a little brown bag in hand, a worried look on her face that wasn't there before.

"Hey, Mon, what's in the bag?" Phoebe asked casually, lifting her attention from the magazine she had been reading.

"Nothing." Monica replied, "Just--"

She struggled for an answer. She didn't want to lie, but she didn't want her friend to know the truth either. Especially before she had an answer. Especially before she talked to Chandler.

"Just some rash ointment." She finally lied, "I have a rash."

Without any further discussion she excused herself and went into the bathroom, locking the door once safely inside.

She opened the bag and peeked inside, then reached in and pulled out the box, hesitating only a moment before opening it. After pulling out the contents, she picked up the instructions and started reading, breezing through quickly so she could get on with the chore ahead of her.

"Hold in urine stream…" she muttered to herself, reading aloud in a whisper… "Three minutes for result. Control window. Result window." She picked up the little plastic stick and stared at it for a moment, then followed the directions to the letter.

--She placed the cap on the test and set it on the counter, then watched it closely… as if her life depended on it. Her life **did** depend on it. She noted that the urine was seeping up through the 'windows'. First through the 'result' window, then through the 'control' window. Once the control line was present, the test was complete. There was no mistaking the results.

*****

--"Hey Pheebs, where's Monica?" Chandler asked as he walked through the door after work, "Still at the restaurant?"

She shook her head, "No. She didn't go in to work today," was her concerned reply, "I think something might be wrong, but she won't talk to me."

"What? Where is she?"

"Her room. She locked the door and she hasn't been out all day. She won't answer me when I knock either."

"Why did she lock herself in her room?"

"I don't know! She came out of the bathroom after being in there for, like, 20 minutes. I think she had been crying. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn't answer me, she just went to her room and locked the door."

Chandler scowled, worry creeping into his heart… "Monica? Open up. It's Chandler." When she didn't respond, he knocked loudly on her door… "Mon! Open up!"

"What's going on?" Joey asked as he casually strolled in…

"Monica has locked herself in her room." Phoebe replied…

Joey looked puzzled… "What? Why?"

Phoebe shook her head, "We don't know."

"Joe," Chandler turned to him, "Can you pick this lock?"

Joey stepped up and looked it over. "I think so," He headed for the front door, "I'll be right back."

Chandler nodded, then turned to Phoebe, "Pheebs, tell me everything you remember about today."

Phoebe nodded, "She left right after you guys did, but she was only gone for, like, fifteen minutes."

"Where did she go?"

"She didn't say. Oh!" she suddenly remembered, "When she came back she had a bag in her hand."

"A bag? What was in it?"

"She said it was rash ointment."

He frowned, "Rash ointment? She doesn't have a rash."

She shrugged, "Well, that's what she said it was." She continued, "She went straight for the bathroom and locked the door. When she came out twenty minutes later, she looked like she had been crying."

"And she wouldn't tell you why?"

"Nope."

"Ok, stand back," Joey instructed, "I got it." 

Chandler stood back and watched as Joey opened his toolbox and sifted through his tools. After picking out one he liked, he knelt down at Monica's door and began to pick the lock.

"Hey, Mon, can I borrow--" Rachel's question dropped unfinished as she saw the concerned expressions worn by her friends… "What's going on?"

Phoebe turned to Rachel, "We think something might be wrong with Monica."

"What? Why?" Rachel inquired, noting that Joey was hard at work picking her sister-in-law's locked door.

"She's been in her room all day. She hasn't come out and she won't answer us."

"What could have been in the bag?" Chandler asked, almost to himself…

"Bag?" Rachel scowled, "What bag?"

"She had a bag with her when she went into the bathroom this morning," Phoebe explained, "When she came out, she looked like she had been crying."

Rachel began to share her friends' concern… "Well, did she have the bag with her when she left the bathroom?"

Phoebe gave that thought as they all looked at each other. Slowly, their eyes moved to the bathroom door.

Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel each took a deep breath as they began to walk towards the bathroom…

"Door's open." Joey informed, and Chandler immediately abandoned the bathroom trek and ran for Monica…

"Monica? Monica?" he called as he entered the room. 

She was on her bed, lying face down, her eyes open, tears falling to the bed sheet…

"Mon? What are you doing?" Chandler sat on the bed and touched her back, her only response, though slight, was a flinch.

Joey entered slowly and watched as Chandler tried to talk to her, his brow furrowed in concern…

"Monica? Talk to me. You're scaring the shit out of me here."

Rachel and Phoebe entered the room and Rachel cleared her throat…

"Chandler?"

He turned to face Rachel, and she held out a brown bag for him to take.

"What is it?" he asked her in a whisper, but she just gestured for him to look in the bag. Nervous over what he might find, he gulped in air before peering in.

It took him several moments before he realized what it was he was looking at…

"Oh my God." He whispered, and he looked up at Rachel abruptly with eyes wide… she nodded.

"What?" Joey asked, wanting answers as well…

"Outside Joey." Phoebe advised, taking his hand. 

Phoebe would explain it to him. And they would all leave so he could talk to Monica. Chandler nodded to no one, then cleared his throat…

"Mon?" No answer. "Mon? We need to talk about this, ok? You can't shut me out like this."

"I didn't do it on purpose." Her tiny voice squeaked out…

"Were you afraid I would think you had?"

She shrugged.

"When did this happen?"

"Our quickie? In London? Joey had your condoms…"

He nodded. He remembered. "Right…"

"I'm scared." She confided, her eyes closed tight doing nothing to stop the steady trickle of tears,  


"Me too, but, it'll be ok, ya'know? **We'll** be ok."

"We will?"

"Monica, what did you think was going to happen when you told me?"

"I thought you would get all weird and think I was trying to trap you or something."

He shook his head… "I don't think that. I think we both knew what could happen and I think we both took the risk." He crawled into bed beside her and cradled her in his arms… "You scared the hell out of me tonight, Mon. **Don't ever** do that again."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, sweetie…" he held her tighter… "I can understand why you were so scared…" he paused for a moment, then leaned back to look at her face… "But-- Wait-- I thought you always wanted kids."

"I do! But, with someone who wants them too. I thought I was going to lose you over this."

He sighed, "What kind of man would I be if I left you over this?" He smiled, "This is my baby too. And as frightening as this is, that's the main fact. I love you, and we created a baby. So, we deal."

She sighed, trying to smile as she rolled over onto her back… "Could you maybe just hold me for a while?"

He smiled as he kissed her forehead… "Absolutely."

He pulled her tight to him and held her while she dozed off, the stress of her day finally catching up with her, the relief of Chandler's reaction causing her to relax enough to drift off.

Rachel poked her head into the room and he just smiled and nodded. When she saw how content Monica looked, she knew all was ok. She smiled and nodded, then left, out to update the others on the situation.

--Chandler comforted Monica, beyond relieved that she was ok. He had never been so scared when she was locked in her room and he couldn't get to her, and in the brief time it took for Joey to pick the lock, a poignant thought crossed his mind: 'he loved her'. 

Then his mind moved past the scare she had put him through, and moved to the dilemma at hand: 'a baby'. They were going to have a baby. He didn't know how to deal with that, so he didn't. He just sat numb, loosening his tie in an attempt to get comfortable, carefully so as not to disturb Monica.

When she felt better, probably by morning, she would be able to help him cope with the life-altering news. She was good at that, helping him cope, telling him how to feel. She would know how he was supposed to be feeling, so he would wait for her before doing what his brain and his heart was telling him to do… freak out. 

*****

--Monica stretched and yawned, alerting Chandler to the fact that she was awake…

"What time is it?" she asked him, her voice shaky from exhaustion.

He glanced at his watch, "Ten after ten."

"How long have I been asleep?"

He kissed her hair, "About four hours."

She sat up just enough to be able to look at his face, "Have you been awake this entire time?"

"Pretty much. I might've dozed off for a few minutes a couple hours ago."

She could hear the strain in his voice, "Wanna talk about stuff?"

Slowly, he nodded.

She sat up further, and he moved from the position he had been in for hours and stretched, easing his aching muscles.

"This isn't what you want." She stated grimly, starting the conversation off.

He shook his head, "I would be lying if I said it was. I'm not ready to be a father. I'm barely ready to be a boyfriend."

"So, what do **you** want me to do?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, knowing perfectly well what she was asking,

"Did you want me to get an abortion?"

He shook his head emphatically, "Absolutely not."

"Adoption?"

Again, he shook his head, "Look how hard that was on Phoebe! And she knew going into it that she would be giving the babies to Frank and Alice! I couldn't ask you to go through that."

"Then, what?"

"I don't honestly know. I guess--" he sighed, "It's just time to grow up now… I guess. It's not the baby's fault he was conceived, so, as hard as it's going to be, I'm just gonna have to be the best dad I can be."

"I'm sorry I did this to us."

"You didn't do anything wrong. It would be so easy to pass blame, but, there really isn't anyone to pass the blame too, is there? We could try. We could blame Joey for taking my condoms. We could blame London for being romantic. Maybe I'm to blame for not being able to keep it in my pants."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm to blame for not saying 'no'."

He shook his head, "The fact still remains… you're pregnant. Pointing the finger and laying blame won't change that."

"I know." She cracked a smile, "I can't believe how well you're handling this."

"I can't either. Believe me, I'm fighting the urge to go run screaming into the night. But, I know that won't solve anything. And I just love you so much, I just couldn't do that to you. So, as much help as I'm bound to be, here I am."

"You're more help than you realize. Just you being calm is helping tremendously."

"Then, I'll try to remain at least **that** helpful."

"Thank you."

He nodded, "So, what's next? What happens next? Like, DRs appointments or something?"

"Yeah. I'll need to go to the DR and get a referral to the OB/GYN."

"Are you going to want me to come to your appointments?"

"Do you want to come?"

"Only if you want me there."

"I do, but, maybe not for the first one."

He shrugged, "Ok."

"So, are you hungry? I could make you something to eat."

"No," he shook his head, "I just want to curl up with you and sleep clean through till next week."

"Well, the curling up we can do. The **sleeping** we can do, but the 'till next week' part? Not so sure our bosses would like that much."

"Fine," he agreed with a slight smile, "Then how about we sleep till tomorrow afternoon? Blow off work and just stay in each other's arms?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "I think we can swing that."

"Good. It's settled then." He climbed out of the bed and stood, stripping his work clothes and tossing them to the floor. He fought the urge to laugh when she cringed, and he just knew she wanted more than anything to pick them up and fold them neatly, and then place them on the back of the chair.

"Leave the clothes," he instructed, "They'll still be there tomorrow."

Reluctantly, she turned away from the clothes pile, stripping her own clothes before climbing into bed with him.

"I'm sorry I scared you today." She muttered as she snuggled up to his warm body.

He nodded, "I can't even imagine the stress you were under all day waiting for me to come home, not knowing how I would react."

"I did it to myself," she admitted, "I allowed myself to dwell in the worst possible scenario instead of allowing myself to believe that you just **might not **freak about it."

"Well," he quipped, "You went with the odds. Can't blame you there, right?"

She chuckled, her laughter dying, a smile remaining as she kissed his chest… "I love you, Chandler."

"I love you too Monica."

--They fell into an easy silence as they waited for sleep to envelop them.

*****~*****

--Monica paced the floor, waiting for Chandler to return. She needed to talk to him… alone, so she asked Phoebe to go visit with Rachel across the street. He wasn't at work, they both called in sick first thing that morning. Phoebe didn't know where he'd gone to, so, she was stuck waiting. And pacing. And the longer she waited, the more tense she became. 

When Chandler finally walked through the door, she almost broke down in tears just at the sight of him. "You're back!" she heard herself shout, wincing as she realized he had no idea about the hours of turmoil she had just been through.

"Hey." He greeted with a smile, "You ok? You seem… tense."

She nodded, "I have something I need to talk to you about."

His expression took on a serious quality, "Ok. What's up? Is everything ok with the baby?"

That wasn't as easy a question as it seemed… "Not exactly."

"What? Something's wrong with the baby?"

She winced, "Not exactly."

"Ok," he scowled, "You're talking in circles. Just-- just tell me what's going on, Mon, k?"

She took a deep breath, "I went to the DRs today…" He nodded. "And, well, it's common to take a test to confirm the pregnancy before giving you the referral." He nodded again, gesturing for her to continue. "The test-- there was something wrong with the test, so, they decided to do an ultra-sound."

"That's where they take a picture of the baby?" he asked, she nodded.

"Right, so, they did the ultra-sound, and, well…" she stammered as she tried to think of the best way to say it… "The thing is, is--" she sighed, "Chandler, I'm not pregnant."

He just stared at her, unmoving for what seemed like a long time, but in reality was only about 45 seconds. "What?"

"The home test was a false positive. They're not very common, but they do happen."

"A what?"

"False positive. A positive result that's false." She explained, "You know how the box will say '99% accurate'? I'm the other 1%."

He scowled, "So, now you're just, **not** pregnant."

"Right."

"So, you put me through hell for nothing?"

She flinched at his tone, "What?"

"What was this, some kind of test? Tell me you're pregnant so that you can see my reaction?!"

Her jaw dropped in shock, "Have you lost your mind?! **Of course** I didn't do that! What's the matter with you?!"

"What's the matter with **me**?! I'm not the one messing with your head! What's the matter with you!"

"I didn't **fake** the test results!" she snapped, "I **thought** I was pregnant! I was **shocked** when the DR said I wasn't!"

He scoffed as he headed for the door, "I can't believe you would do this!"

"I didn't **do** anything!" she barked back, "Where are you going?!"

"Somewhere where **you're not**!"

With that he stormed out and slammed the door, leaving a confused and hurt Monica alone. She felt the tears sting her eyes, and she knew an onslaught of emotions was looming just beneath the surface, waiting to be unleashed.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	14. The One Where Chandler Makes Amends

**__**

The One Where Chandler Makes Amends 

Chapter Fourteen 

Continued from: 'TOW The Test' 

By: Jana~ 

*****~***** 

--Tears splashed down her face as she stared at the door, the image becoming blurred as the drops formed and fell. She didn't know what to be right then. Angry? Sad? Bewildered? She felt all of those, and more. 

She wasn't expecting his reaction. She expected him to be shocked… hell, she had been **at least** that when the DR gave her the news, but she didn't think Chandler would yell at her and storm out. 

Then, suddenly, like a light bulb going off in her head, she understood. Just that quickly, and it all clicked. It all made perfect sense. And she scowled as she wiped at her tears, heading for his apartment with purpose. 

--She walked in, looking like a woman on a mission, and she pointed at Joey who was eating what looked like a meatball sub sandwich, then pointed at the door. He took the hint and quickly left, sandwich in hand, a 'Later, dude' muffled by his mouth full of food. 

"I have nothing to say to you right now!" Chandler barked, turning his back to her.

"You know, I have you figured out!" she snapped.

He spun to face her, "What is **that** supposed to mean?!" 

"You know how I told you in the beginning of all this that I wasn't going to take your crap?" She jabbed her finger at the counter, "**This** is the **crap** I was referring to!" 

He scoffed, arms folded across his chest, once again turning away. 

"You can make those stupid little noises all you want, **Chandler**, but I'm not gonna let you do this!" She slammed her hand down on the counter, in part for emphasis, in part to get his attention, "You're not gonna use this to run away from us!" She backed up the three steps necessary to reach the door, then opened it, "When you're ready to **calmly** discuss this, I'll be here." 

--She shut the door quietly but soundly after walking out, then leaned against the jamb, shaking from the confrontation. She was proud of herself for seeing Chandler's fit for what it was… and for stopping the cycle before it could continue. The only thing left to do was wait till he came around. 

--Chandler stared at the door once she left, his angry expression fading. She was right. He knew she was right. This was what he did. Things would get intense and he wouldn't know how to cope, so, he'd do something stupid. 

*You outdid yourself this time, though.* he told himself, *You're gonna need a **really** big shovel to dig your way out of **this** one.* 

***** 

--"Chandler thought you were lying about being pregnant in order to **test** him?!" Rachel asked Monica as they sat drinking coffee in Central Perk.

"Yep," Monica nodded. "Can you believe that?!" 

"Believe what?" Ross asked as he entered the coffeehouse, only having heard part of the conversation.

"Nothing," Monica replied, not wanting her brother involved in the situation. 

"Chandler thinks Monica faked the pregnancy to test him," Rachel answered her husband's question. 

"Rachel!" Monica scolded, "I said 'nothing' for a reason!" 

"I knew dating him was a bad idea," Ross informed, "Chandler's great and all, but he has never been able to make a relationship last longer than a common cold." 

Monica looked at Rachel, gesturing towards Ross, "And **there's** the reason." 

"Sorry," Rachel apologized, "He's my husband. I tell him everything." 

"That's fine," Monica replied, "But tell him 'everything' that pertains to **you**, **not** **me**!" 

Rachel smiled sheepishly, "Sorry." 

"So, what did Chandler do?" Ross asked after kissing his wife 'hello' and taking a seat next to her, practically in her hip pocket, 

"Well, in a nut shell," Monica muttered, "he freaked out." 

"You'd think he woulda been relieved," Rachel offered.

"Well, he probably would be," Monica replied, "if he'd stop being an idiot for, like, five minutes." 

Rachel nodded in agreement, "What're you gonna do now?" 

"I'm gonna wait for him to come to his senses…" 

"Yeah, well, you might be waiting for a long time on **that**," Ross quipped, receiving a playful jab in the side by Rachel's elbow. 

***** 

--Chandler peeked in cautiously, checking to see if Monica was around. "Monica here?" he asked Phoebe quietly; she shook her head 'no'. "Pheebs," he sighed as he entered, "I really screwed up this time." 

"Uh-oh, what did you do?" she asked, giving him her undivided attention. 

He sighed as he joined her on the couch, "I pulled a 'Chandler'--" 

She held her hands up to stop him, "Enough said. Did you apologize?" 

"I want to, but I want do something special, to show her how sorry I really am." 

"Candy? Flowers? A card?" Phoebe suggested.

"To cliché." 

"You could write her a song!" 

He scowled at her suggestion, "I don't know how to write songs." 

"Oh, it's easy! I do it all the time!" She grabbed a pad of paper and a pen, "I'll do it for you!" 

"Thanks, Pheebs," he declined, "But I'd rather just apologize in my own way." 

She shrugged, tossing the paper and pen back on the coffee table, "Suit yourself." 

***** 

--Monica was deep in thought as she left Central Perk, entering her apartment building moments later. Chandler had hurt her with his accusations, and even though she knew where the tantrum had come from, his words still stung. She wondered if he would ever understand that. She wondered if she was in over her head, trying to 'domesticate' someone as 'undomesticated' as Chandler. Her concerns were about to be put to rest… 

--She entered her apartment to find it aglow with dozens of candles, the multitudes causing a romantic scene like one would expect to see in the movies. Chandler stepped out of the shadows, an apologetic smile on his face as he approached… 

"Hey," he stated softly, "Phoebe just left." 

Monica squinted as she looked around, hanging her purse on the hook near the front door, "To go where?" 

"Back home," he replied. "She says she feels better." He sighed heavily, "I'm sorry, Monica. I really am. I just-- I know I didn't handle any of this very well…" 

"You handled the news that I was pregnant well," Monica softly reminded. 

He shook his head, "You have no idea how scared I was when I figured out what was in that bag, but I was just so worried about you that I pushed it from my mind. If you hadn't been crying, God knows what stupid thing I would've said or done." 

She nodded weakly, "I needed you-- When the DR told me about the false positive-- I needed you to hold me, and instead you yelled at me and ran away!" 

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm a prick. It's 'relationship Chandler'!" he exclaimed, "He's a jerk! I told you he was!" 

"Stop referring to yourself in the third person, Chandler. You two are one and the same." She exhaled sharply out of frustration as she looked into his blank expression, "You're so busy separating the two 'Chandlers' that you don't stop and think. You think you can just accuse your alter ego so you don't have to take responsibility for saying or doing something stupid." 

He dropped his gaze to the floor and kicked at the ground, defeated. 

"When I said I would help you with your issues, I didn't mean that I was willing to take your abuse." 

"I'm not trying to be abusive," he muttered sadly. 

"I know that, but, when you make wild accusations and yell, it's not exactly the healthiest way to deal with stuff, is it?" 

"No." He shrugged, "But it's not like I sit at home and think up ways of being the biggest asshole known to mankind." 

She sighed, "I know that too. But, it doesn't excuse the behavior. When you're feeling especially stressed about something, then you need to talk to me about it. Not **yell**, **talk**." 

He nodded his understanding, "Right." 

"I know you're gonna wig over some pretty lame things. I'm prepared for that. But I'm not gonna let you just push me away every time you get weird, just to come back days or weeks or hours later, wanting everything to be as if nothing's wrong. I think I deserve better than that." 

"You do! You do deserve better than that," he assured her, "You deserve better than me." 

"Ok, just stop with the pity party, alright?" she scolded him, "I want to be with you Chandler, but gone are the days where I'll take you any way I can get you. I want more now." 

"I do too. I just-- I'm not prepared to have a baby right now." 

"I know. And I wasn't trying to get pregnant. But even so, when I found out that I **wasn't** after thinking I **was**-- I was sad. And I really needed you right then, Chandler." 

He saw her unshed tears shimmer in the candlelight, and he stepped forward to gather her in his arms, "I'm so sorry, Monica. I was so freaked out over you being pregnant, then when you said you weren't, I just-- I don't know what happened. I just lost it." 

She nodded, "If you were so upset about the pregnancy, you should've said something." 

"I kinda did," he reminded her, "I told you I wasn't ready to be a dad." 

"You did, but then you finished up with 'but I guess it's time to grow up and be one anyway'. I figured you were just handling it **really** well!" 

He chuckled, "Are you new? Since when do I handle anything of **that** magnitude 'really well'?" 

"Right, and I figured we were in for a bumpy eight-whatever months. But, I was **not** expecting nuclear meltdown over my 'false positive' news." 

He pulled away from their embrace, "Hey, ya'know, I'm not the only one having nuclear meltdown here. You freaked over the home test! I had to break the door down just to get to you!" 

She scoffed, "You didn't 'break the door down', you had Joey pick the lock." 

"If Joey hadn't been here, I would've busted the door down," he informed her. "You had me worried sick!" 

"I know. I'm sorry." 

"And you were pretty much freaking out about the DR's test results when I came in." 

"I wasn't freaking out," She defended herself. 

"Oh, please, Monica, you looked like you were ready to crawl out of your own skin!" 

"I was nervous over what your reaction would be, is all." 

He nodded, "Right, but I'm just saying, you've had a few extreme reactions to stuff too. It hasn't all been me." He went on to give further examples, "You got all weird at the beach when I told you we couldn't do 'the deed' anymore. You got all drunk and weird in London. You were jealous when you saw Phoebe just **smile** at me!" 

"I wasn't jealous!" 

"Oh, you were **so** jealous! And then with the whole locking yourself in your room incident." 

She half-heartedly glared, "This isn't a contest, Chandler." 

"I know." He knew by her look that it was time to back off, "I'm just saying, I'm not alone over here in the irrational reaction zone." 

"I know," she conceded, "I guess we both have issues." 

"Some of us more than others," he quipped as he gestured to himself. "So, are we gonna be ok?" 

She smiled, "Yeah. We're gonna be ok." 

"Ya'know, I was thinking, why don't we go away for the weekend?" 

"Really?" She smiled at the suggestion, "To where?" 

He shrugged, "I don't know… someplace fun. Somewhere where we can just focus on being a couple." 

"I like that idea." 

"Yeah?" he smirked proudly, "I actually had a good idea?" 

"Yeah, well, you were due," she teased. "So, where should we go?" 

***** 

--"No way!" Joey exclaimed, "Vegas?! You're going to Vegas?! I wanna come!" 

"No," Chandler shook his head, "Just Monica and I are going." 

"That's not fair!" Joey pouted, "I wanna go! And I bet everyone else would want to too! And we told Phoebe we would take her someplace fun cause she missed going to London and all!" He gestured at nothing, "Vegas is fun!" 

"Joey, no." Chandler stated firmly, "This trip is just for me and Monica." 

"And you said you weren't ready to be a dad," Monica quipped, gesturing towards Joey. 

"Well, ya'know," Joey challenged, "it's not like you can stop us! If we wanted to go, we could go! You can't tell us what to do!" He stormed out melodramatically, slamming the door behind him. 

"Why do I suddenly have the feelings that this is about to become a trip for six?" Chandler asked rhetorically, embracing Monica. "Sorry about this." 

She shrugged, "Eh. It's ok. We'll hang out with everyone for a bit, then we'll go back our room for 'naked alone time'." 

"I like the sound of **that**!" he grinned. 

"Yeah, I thought you might." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. "I could give you a little preview of how that goes," she teased, "if you want." 

"Do you even have to ask?" He grabbed her by the hand and practically ran to the bedroom. 

***** 

--"Ok, guys, so far," Phoebe asked, "is this trip **better** than your trip to London? Or worse?" 

"We're not even on the plane yet, Pheebs," Chandler pointed out. 

"I know that. What, you didn't wait in line to board the plane when you went to London?" 

"No, we did," Chandler relented, "It's pretty much about the same." 

"Ok, but, now, what if I give you these candies?" Phoebe reached into her bag and pulled out little hard candies for everyone. 

"Alright!" Joey exclaimed, taking the candy eagerly. "Better! Definitely better!" 

"If you had a sandwich in there," Chandler pointed to Phoebe's bag, "his head would probably explode." 

***** 

--They sat awaiting takeoff, Ross and Rachel kissing like newlyweds, Joey and Phoebe comparing the wait to the 'London wait', and Chandler and Monica gently holding hands, occasionally smiling at one another as the flight attendants unenthusiastically passed out little bags of peanuts. 

"You know what I was thinking we should do?" Monica asked, "We should track down your dad's Vegas show." 

"Why?" he asked, his tone incredulous. 

"Because! I'd like to meet him!" 

"No, you don't want to meet him, trust me." 

"Why not? Cause he's gay?" 

"No, cause he's not in my life anymore," he replied distantly, "So there's no reason to see him." 

"You sound so bitter when it comes to him. Maybe it's time to make amends?" she suggested. "How long has it been since you've talked to him?" 

"Years. We have nothing in common, Monica. I don't want to see him." 

"Maybe I do." 

"Monica, no. I'm putting my foot down here. I do **not** want him in my life, alright?" She didn't reply. "Mon?" 

She sighed, "Fine." 

She agreed, but that was far from the end of the issue in her mind. She wanted to meet the man that could possibly be her future father-in-law, and she knew Chandler was just being stubborn. She could convince him in time, and with a lot of pleading. She was sure of it… 

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED… 


	15. The One With The Mission

**__**

The One With The Mission

Chapter Fifteen

Continued from: 'TOW Chandler Makes Amends'

By: Jana~

A special thanks to my earthly muse and beta-reader for all the invaluable advice, both in grammar and in story ideas!

*****~*****

--Promptly upon landing in Vegas, they all headed for the hotel, all of them eager to check in so as to start their vacations as soon as possible.

Ross and Rachel had reserved the biggest suite in the place, calling the trip their second honeymoon… the entire weekend's itinerary didn't include much beyond their room.

In order to save money, Phoebe and Joey decided to share a room, which Phoebe made sure had two queen size beds. And she had a stipulation: no 'sleep over guests', to which Joey reluctantly agreed.

And of course Chandler and Monica were sharing a room, them having 'naked alone time' the whole purpose of the trip. 

--Wanting the weekend to be perfect, Monica immediately started scrutinizing the room. Once the few imperfections she found were corrected, she was happy with the room and allowed the flustered bellhop to leave. Chandler slipped him and extra tip and an apologetic smile.

--When Chandler excused himself to go to the bathroom, with the click of the lock, Monica sprang into action. She hastily searched the room, finding what she was looking for relatively quickly. 

She grabbed the telephone directory out from one of the dresser drawers, and as fast as possible, browsed the pages, keeping an ear out for any indication that he was done. He would be upset, she knew that, but she couldn't help herself. Once an idea was planted in her head, it was hard to get it out.

--She would find Chandler's dad and bridge the gap between father and son. They would be happy to see each other and Chandler would forgive her for meddling because she mended the old wounds between them. She smiled as she pictured the warm scene in her mind, father and son hugging after all the years of distance.

--Finally, she found it. "Viva Las GayGus…" she muttered to herself as she tapped the yellow and black ad.

"Did you say something?" Chandler called out from the bathroom,

"No!" she replied, tearing the page from the book and folding it, putting it in her pocket. "Just commenting on how nice the room is." She could hear him chuckling from behind the closed door, "What are you snickering about?"

"Just recalling that poor bellhop's face when you told him you wanted all new towels cause it looked like a cat had shed all over them."

She rolled her eyes, not that he could see, "Well, they did!"

As quickly and quietly as she could, she put the phone book back in its drawer, then started to unpack just as Chandler exited the bathroom.

"Well, I'm glad everything meets up with your approval." He cooed as he wrapped his arms around her. "So, what's say you and I get started on our naked alone time, hmmm?" He kissed her neck, and she was putty in his hands.

--All thoughts of unpacking or finding Chandler's dad left her mind as she returned his affections. The task of convincing her boyfriend to track down his estranged father could wait. They did, after all, have the whole weekend ahead of them. Besides, she reasoned, he would be much more likely to cave to her whims if she satisfied his whims in bed first.

--Content and blissfully exhausted, they snuggled up to one another, basking in the afterglow of their love.

"So," he asked breezily, "What's next on the agenda?"

It was the perfect opening, and Monica took advantage of it. "Maybe we could catch a show?" she suggested, kissing his chest in the hopes of softening the blow of what was to come.

"Sure," he shrugged off the seemingly harmless request. "What kind of show? Elvis impersonators? Dancing show girls?"

"I was thinking maybe…" she hesitated briefly, "Gay burlesque?"

He smirked, "Is there something you aren't telling me?" he quipped, "Is Carol not the only lesbian in Ross' life?"

She chuckled, "No, no, not that."

He wiped his brow dramatically, "Phew! That's a relief." He pulled her tighter to him and kissed her hair.

"I was just thinking that maybe," she suggested cautiously, "Maybe we could talk some more about finding your dad."

He shook his head, "No."

"No to talking or no to finding?"

"Both. I don't want him in my life, Monica, ok? He destroyed me."

"I'm sure that wasn't his intent." She reasoned, "Like Carol, he knew he couldn't live a lie any longer, so, he 'came out'."

"It's not just about that, ok?" He sat up and pulled slightly away from her.

"Ok." She shifted her position on the bed to look at him, "So, what's it about?"

"Humiliation. Distance. Disgrace. Anguish. Growing up without a dad, essentially. He left us, and with the exception of a few lame attempts at 'making up for that', he stayed away. It's not just **my** decision not to see **him**, **he** doesn't want to see **me** either."

"But, if you guys could just sit down--"

"No!" he snapped, interrupting her, "I mean it now, ok? That's it!" He climbed out of bed and reached for his pants, "I don't want to talk about this any further!"

"Don't bark at me!" she shot back, irritated, "I was just trying to be helpful!"

"If you wanna be helpful," he suggested as he continued getting dressed, "Then drop it!"

"Maybe I don't want to!" She climbed out of bed, wrapping the sheet around herself. "I want to meet the man who is responsible for your existence!"

"And I said '**no**'! I forbid you to go--"

"**Forbid**?!" she cut him off, scoffing, "Oh, you didn't just '**forbid**' me, did you?"

"That's right!" he stood tall, indignant, "I did!"

"You are **infuriating**!" she threw her hands up in the air. "It's not like I'm asking for your kidney!"

"**That** I can give you. Permission to see my father," he added as he headed for the door, shoes and socks in hand, "I can't give you."

"Where are you going?" she asked angrily,

"Out!"

"What about us spending time together?"

"We can do that later," he snipped, "When I'm not so pissed off."

He slammed the door after walking out, and Monica struck her fists together two times in succession as she glared after him, her sheet falling to the ground as her hands stopped supporting it.

"Forbid me?" she muttered to herself as she began to get dressed, "**Doubtful**!" She grabbed the yellow pages ad out of her pants pocket and shoved it in her purse, then headed out the door.

*****

--Monica knocked on the door, loudly and with purpose, marching in as soon as Phoebe answered,

"Joey here?" Monica asked as she scanned the room, immediately taking notice that he wasn't there. "I need to borrow him."

"He just left," Phoebe informed, "If you hurry you can catch him."

Monica passed on pleasantries as she ran out the door.

"He went left!" Phoebe called out when Monica turned right, and she quickly turned around and headed the opposite way.

--"Joey," Monica panted as she caught up with him, "I need your help."

"Ok," Joey nodded willy-nilly, "With what?"

"I'm on a mission," she told him as she gulped in air, "And I don't wanna go alone."

"A mission?" he whined, "Sounds like a lot of effort to me."

"I'll treat you to a meatball sub." She dangled the offer in a sing-song voice,

He thought about it briefly, then nodded, "Ok. But I'm gonna need partial payment in advance."

She scowled at the request, "What?"

"I'm hungry! I was just about to go eat! If I'm going on a 'mission'," he did air quotes for emphasis, "Then I need food **now**."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, dragging him along, "Fine Joey," she agreed. "Fine."

*****

--Chandler sat at the bar, spinning the ice cubes in his drink with his straw, his expression showing unhappiness. He couldn't understand Monica's insistence on meeting his father. There was no reason to track him down, in his mind. They had nothing in common and even less to talk about. She was just being stubborn, he thought as he downed his drink and indicated he wanted another from the bartender.

"Hey Chandler!" Phoebe greeted him warmly, "What are you doing here?"

"Monica and I had a fight," he grumbled, "So I'm here drowning my problems in liquor."

"Not the best solution to problem solving." Phoebe reminded,

"I know." He agreed, then took a gulp of his new drink, shuddering at the strength of it, the ice not yet melted enough to water it down.

"What did you and Monica fight about?" She asked as she joined him,

"My dad. **She** wants to meet him, **I** want him to stay out of my life."

"At least you have a dad." She muttered somewhat sadly.

"Want mine?" he asked, half joking, half sympathetic to her pain.

She sighed, "He really messed you up, didn't he?"

He shrugged, "Tale as old as time. Man gets married. Man 'does' the houseboy. Man gets a divorce and abandons his son."

"**That** tale is as old as time?"

He shrugged again as he twirled the ice around his glass, assisting the frozen cubes in melting. "I just don't get her sometimes. What good could possibly come from talking to that man?"

"She loves you Chandler. She wants to know more about what makes you tick." She looked at the bartender then pointed at Chandler's glass, indicating that she wanted what he was having, "She's not trying to piss you off."

He scoffed, then shot back the remainder of his drink, tapping the rim when he made eye contact with the bartender, "She can't stand to lose. I say 'no', she says 'watch me'!"

"Yeah, well," Phoebe agreed, "She's competitive. You know that."

"Well, this isn't a game! This is my life!" he exclaimed as he pushed his glass aside, awaiting his new mind-numbing elixir. "As sucky as it is…" he added grimly.

*****

--"Why does this sound familiar?" Joey asked as he followed Monica up to the door, pointing at the sign that read: 'Viva Las GayGus'.

"Because," Monica replied, "It's Chandler's dad's gay burlesque show."

"What?" Joey froze in place, causing Monica to turn around when he fell back from beside her. "Why are we here?"

She reached out and grabbed his arm, then proceeded to drag him into the dimly lit building, "I want to meet Chandler's dad."

"He told you he didn't want you doing that!" he exclaimed nervously, "He's gonna be pissed when he finds out!"

"No he won't," Monica assured him, "If all goes well, he'll be **thanking** me for bringing him and his father together again."

"I don't like this, Monica." He whined, "I mean, going behind his back--"

"It'll be fine, ok?" she rolled her eyes, "I'll take full responsibility."

"Welcome to Viva Las GayGus!" a large cross-dressed man greeted them, "Two for the next show?"

Joey squirmed uncomfortably, averting his eyes…

"Yes, thank you." Monica replied, nudging Joey when the waiter/waitress gestured for them to follow him/her to their seats.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" the effeminate man asked,

"Something without an umbrella in it." Joey replied in a gruff voice, swiping at his nose like a John Wayne character from an old western,

"Got it," the waitress smirked, "You're straight." She turned to Monica, "And for you dear?"

"Scotch on the rocks with a twist, thank you. Oh!" she added, "And can you tell me if Charles is working today?"

"Charles?" the waitress asked as she jotted down their order,

"Yeah." Monica affirmed, "Charles Bing?"

"Honey, I don't know anyone by that name." She placed her small notebook in her even smaller apron, "Let me go find out for you."

The waitress walked off and Monica leaned in to Joey, "I hope we got the right place."

"How many 'Viva Las GayGus's could there be?" he asked, scanning the room, "How many of these girls do you think are guys?"

"Probably all of them Joey."

He winced and shuddered in response.

*****

--"It's not the competitive thing I mind," Chandler slurred, well on his way to being completely wasted, "What I mind is when I don't get a say in stuff." He downed another drink, pushing the empty glass to join the others. "If she values my opinion so little, not, at all, then why is she with me?"

"Maybe she's just in it for the sex?" Phoebe offered, herself on the fuzzy side of drunk,

"Before maybe," he admitted, "Now, she wants more. She says. Thing is, is," he stammered, "I don't know how to give her more. She wants me to be someone I'm not."

She plucked the stick from her martini glass, pulling the olive off the end with her teeth, "Who does she want you to be?"

"Committed Chandler."

"Well, you're half there." She chuckled drunkenly, "What is it with you and the commitment thing?"

"I'm a Bing." was his simple reply.

She shook her head, "So?"

"Bings can't commit to anything." He explained as he waved a finger at the bartender, pointing at his empty napkin, "It's in my genes."

"You're not wearing jeans." She mumbled, "You're wearing slacks."

"Not pants, Phoebe, **genes**. As in DNA. No Bing has been able to make relationships last. I'm no different."

"Sure you are!" she gestured wildly in her drunken state, "You just need some help!"

"I'm beyond help."

"No you're not!" she insisted, "If you were beyond help you wouldn't be sitting here getting all shit-faced and stressing about it!"

He scowled, her statement making little sense to him, "You're saying me getting tanked is a good thing?"

"No. You've killed about a million brain cells just in the last hour alone. What I'm saying is, is, that if you were **so** against commitment, you wouldn't be **here** dumping all over me about it, you'd just be gone."

He smiled as he put his hand on her shoulder, almost pushing her off the stool when his alcohol impaired body lied to him about his own strength. "So, I'm not a pathetic loser?" he asked hopefully.

She laughed, "I never said **that**."

*****

--"What is the big deal?" Monica asked an obviously uncomfortable Joey, "You're straight. You know you're straight."

"Yeah, well, **they** don't." He gestured to the room as a whole.

She chortled as she watched him squirm, "And what makes you so certain any of these guys would even be interested in you?"

"Are you kidding?" he asked rhetorically, "Look at me! Half these guys in here probably wish they could take me home!"

She smirked, a sideways glance bringing attention to what he just said and how it sounded.

"I'm straight!" he barked at her, and she laughed.

"I know that Joey."

When a drag queen walked by and winked at him, Joey jumped out of his seat in response, "I gotta go! A meatball sub isn't worth **this**!"

"But I already bought you food as a down payment, Joey!" she reminded him, "You have to stay!"

He sighed as he sat back down. "Ok. But on one condition."

"And what's that?"

"You pretend to be my girlfriend." He replied, "Let me put my arm around you so all these guys'll get it that I'm straight."

"Fine Joey." She exhaled sharply, "You can put your arm around me."

He hesitated as he went to place his arm around her, feeling odd about being that close to his best friend's girlfriend, but after a few moments, he relaxed.

"You know what would **really** make this look real?" he asked in a whisper, "If I could grope you."

"Joey!" She pulled away in disgust, "Grow up!"

"Fine," he muttered, "It was worth a try."

*****

--"What is it really?" a drunk Phoebe asked an even drunker Chandler, "So, she wants to meet your dad! So what!"

"But, if she meets him, she'll know!" he slurred his reply.

"Know what?"

"She'll know where I come from!"

"So?! It's not like you come from a distant planet, right?" The question was rhetorical for the most part, but when he didn't answer right away, his drink glass being at his lips the reason why, she got nervous. "You're **not** from another planet, **right**?!"

"No, Pheebs," he replied as he set his glass down, "You're the only one here from another planet." He quipped sarcastically.

She sighed in relief, "Ok, so, she'll know where you're from. She already knows, like, where you were born and where you grew up and stuff…"

"Not **where** I'm **from**," he corrected, "I mean, she'll know how pathetic all us Bings are!"

"And she'll love you anyway. Meeting your dad won't change that!"

"My dad is the very definition of a man who can't commit. Me being his son means I'm gonna be the exact same way! She'll see that and leave before wasting any more time with me."

"You are **not** your father! You just need help getting over your doubts and fears!"

He scoffed, "Yeah, well, how do I do **that**?!"

"Oooo! I know just the thing!" She finished off her drink, then slammed money down on the counter before grabbing Chandler's arm and yanking him off the barstool, "C'mon!"

He fought with his equilibrium, trying not to fall once his feet hit the ground, "Where are we going?"

"You'll see!"

****

TO BE CONTINUED…


	16. The One With The Fear

**__**

The One With The Fear

Chapter Sixteen

Continued from: 'TOW The Mission'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--"Excuse me?"

Monica turned in her seat, seeing to whom the raspy voice belonged,

"I hear you're looking for a Charles Bing?" the cross-dressed man standing before her inquired.

Monica squinted, struggling to get a better look at the man's face in the darkness of the room. She smiled as she recognized the resemblance, "Yes sir."

"Please, " he chuckled, gesturing to the chair before taking a seat and joining Monica and Joey, "You say 'sir' and I look around for my father. You can call me Helen. Short for Helena."

Joey squirmed when Chandler's father offered his hand, but to be polite, he shook it.

Monica shook his outstretched hand enthusiastically. "It's nice to meet you, Helen."

Helen glanced at Joey, smiling flirtatiously, then turned his attention to Monica, "And may I ask to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Well, we're, umm--" Monica hesitated, unsure of exactly where to begin. "We're friends of Chandler's."

Helen's smile faded for a moment but then quickly returned, a bit more forced than before. "I see."

Monica shifted in her seat, his expression and sudden silence causing the moment to become uncomfortable. "He's, umm, **here**. In Vegas," she continued.

"But he didn't want to come see me?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"He's, well," Monica struggled with how to reply, not wanting to hurt the man's feelings, "He's just--"

"I know," Helen interrupted, saving her from having to lie. "So, umm," he stammered, "How is he?"

"He's fine." Monica replied as she smiled reassuringly.

Helen's eyes shifted from Monica to Joey, "Does he still live in New York?"

"Yeah. He lives with Joey here." Monica gestured to Joey, who just grinned uneasily in return.

Helen nodded at a fidgeting Joey. "What does he do for a living?"

Monica looked at him in slight amazement, "How long has it been since you've spoken to him?" She answered the question with a question, unaware up until that moment that the man knew almost nothing about his son.

"A long time. Seven, eight years maybe?" he admitted sadly, "I got his address from Nora, and I sent him a few letters, but I never heard back from him."

"He works with computers." Monica answered the previous question, "Something with data entry or something. He doesn't exactly like it, but he's good at it."

"And it pays the bills." Joey added. 

Helen nodded. "Is he happy?"

Monica nodded, her smile growing a bit brighter. "**I** think so."

"Has he, found love?"

"Actually," she sat a little taller, "He has."

Helen smirked, "And is his love currently at this table?" he asked, then winked at Joey.

Joey's expression turned to horror, "No, no! I'm **straight**! **He's** straight! We just live together!" he gestured to Monica, "**She's** the one dating him."

Helen laughed, "A bit homophobic, are we dear?"

"No!" Joey defended himself, his expression a cross between offended and embarrassed as he looked away. 

*****

--Phoebe, why are we here?" Chandler asked as he stumbled through the door, following behind her.

"We're gonna get you over your fears!" Phoebe replied, spinning as she gestured to the room around her, almost falling on her face. "If you have a fear," she swayed before steadying herself, "You face it!"

"But, Pheebs," he slurred, "I don't have a fear of wedding chapels. I have a fear of marriage."

She shook her head, the room spinning further from that simple action, "That's just cause you've never done it."

"I can't get married cause I'm scared of it, and I can't get over my fear of it till I get married! A catch 22 in a place where anything over 21 is a bust." He sighed, pouting dramatically, "I just can't win!"

Phoebe scowled, trying to think of a way to help her friend. "I know!" she exclaimed suddenly, "I know what we should do! We should get married!"

*****

--"I'm sorry," Monica apologized, "I just don't understand why he doesn't want to see you." 

"Well, I really hurt him, when he was younger." Helen offered, excusing his son's actions. "Nine is an impressionable age. My lifestyle change took everyone by surprise, and Chandler didn't handle it too well." He scoffed at the understatement. "I didn't handle it too well either," he admitted ruefully. "I didn't know how to reach him, so, I pretty much didn't even try."

"You ran away from the issue cause you didn't know how to cope." Monica muttered… just saying it aloud brought significance to the discovery.

--That was why Chandler had so many problems dealing with relationship issues. Or any issues for that matter. His parents, his role models, fled as soon as they hit a snag. That was all Chandler ever saw, people fleeing from their problems. It all made sense.

"I know I didn't handle it **at all** properly, but I would like to try and make amends." Helen smiled weakly, "Or at least apologize to him." He added, tears shining in his eyes, "Do you suppose you could let him know that?" 

The show of emotion made Joey uncomfortably aggrieved, his eyes misting up. "Yeah, we can tell him," he offered, drinking his beer quickly in order to stave off the tears threatening to fall.

Monica smiled sympathetically. "Yeah," she told Helen, "We'll tell him."

*****

--"What?!" Chandler screeched in shock, her suggestion somewhat sobering, "I can't marry you!"

"Sure you can!" Phoebe insisted, dismissing his extreme reaction. "It's no big deal. It's just Vegas!"

His mouth dropped open in astonishment. "So?!"

"So!" she moved on to explain, "If you get married in Vegas, you're **only** married in Vegas!"

His brow furrowed in thought for a moment before responding. "I don't think that's true."

"Sure it is! Why do you think they have so many chapels? It's cause they crank out weddings 24/7! Cause people here get married just for fun!"

He scowled, taking several steps sideways as he began to lose balance. "Are you sure?" he asked as he steadied himself.

"Positive!" she assured him, "We'll just do a practice run, see? Then you'll see that it's not so scary."

His brain tried to reason through the alcohol as he considered her advice. What harm would it do? If it would help him get over his fears so he could better commit to a relationship with the woman he loved, and it wasn't like a **real** wedding or anything, then, why not?

"Ok, Pheebs. Let's do it!" he finally agreed, "Let's get married!"

She grinned, but then a scowl took its place, "Is that how you propose?"

He frowned until the meaning behind her words became clear, then he smiled and dropped to one knee clumsily. "Phoebe, will you marry me?"

She giggled at his actions, then pulled at his shirt to get him to stand. "Sure I'll marry you!" she accepted, "It **was** my idea after all!" She threw her arms around him and gave him a friendly peck on the lips. "Let's go get hitched!"

*****

--"This meatball sub is great!" Joey exclaimed, his mouth full of food, "I wish they had this place back in New York!"

Monica looked up from the sandwich in front of her that she was for the most part ignoring, "Good…" she muttered, barely acknowledging him.

"What's wrong? Not hungry?"

She shrugged, "Just trying to decide on the best way to tell Chandler about going to see his dad today."

He nodded as he chewed, "So," his voice was muffled, "Are you not gonna eat that then?"

She scowled, "I'm gonna eat it Joey, ok? If you want another one, I'll buy you another one!"

"Sorry." He took another huge bite, "Ya'know, he loves you. He's gonna forgive you. Just tell him the truth. Let him know that he-- she--" he rolled his eyes, not quite sure what to call Chandler's dad, "Just tell him that **his dad **is sorry for not being there for him and let him know where the showplace is. Then let him make up his own mind about seeing him."

She smiled at how astute Joey could be at times, "Yeah, I guess. I just have this feeling though that he **won't**."

"Then that's his decision. You do that too much," Joey criticized, "You get all weird when people don't do stuff exactly like you would want them to." He popped the last of his sandwich in his mouth, "Just let him make up his own mind. And just be there for him no matter what he decides."

"You're a good friend." She told him, picking up her meatball sub a moment later and taking a bite. "Hey! This **is** good!"

"Yeah baby!" he exclaimed, "So good I'm gonna go get me another one!"

"Get me another one too, ok?"

He looked at her skeptically, "You sure? They're kinda big."

She nodded, "I'm feeling really hungry all of the sudden."

He shrugged and headed for the counter, turning back when he realized he didn't have any money. "Uh, Mon?"

She chuckled and reached into her purse, handing him a $20.

"Thanks!"

*****

--"If it's all fake then why do we need a license thingie?" Chandler asked as they waited for their turn, a wedding already in progress.

She shrugged, "I guess cause they need to keep track of how many marriages they do so they can justify having so many chapels."

In his drunken state, that made sense, and he nodded in agreement.

"Ok, so, when we get up there," Phoebe instructed, "Just pretend I'm Monica, k?"

He nodded, "Ok. And you can pretend I'm--"

"Pierce Brosnan." she interrupted, her smile broadening.

"Double-0-7?" Chandler asked in amusement, "Really?" 

"Hey! He has a license to kill!" she defended her choice aggressively.

He held up his hands in surrender, "Ok, ok. Chill. I was just asking."

"If you weren't marrying Monica, who would you marry?" She asked after a minute's silence.

He scowled as he tried to think. "You know," he finally mumbled in response, "I've never wanted to marry anyone **but** Monica."

She patted his thigh, "That's a good sign! I think this little exercise is going to be just what you need!"

*****

--"Whoa, Mon, that's like your third sandwich," Joey stated the obvious, watching her with concern.

"I eat when I'm nervous." Monica replied, chomping out another bite,

"What are you so nervous about?"

"Duh!" she exclaimed, her mouth full of sandwich, "Telling Chandler about his dad! After the fight we had, I know he's gonna be **angry** with me."

He grimaced when she sprayed her food as she spoke, then handed her a napkin, "Ok, but still, you might wanna slow down there. You don't wanna revert back to 'fat Monica'."

She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, "I'm not gonna get fat!" she assured him. "I have it totally under control."

"Yeah, right. That's what alcoholics and drug addicts say." Joey shot back, worried about his friend's sudden change in eating habits. "I don't think I've ever seen you eat so much!"

"This is nothing!" she mumbled, still stuffing her face, "Back in high school I could've eat five of these no problem."

"Right, but, Monica," he explained slowly, almost as if talking to a child, "You had an eating problem back then."

She shrugged. "**Then** maybe," she agreed, "But I don't anymore." She crammed the rest of her sandwich in her mouth and stood, pulling a few waded up dollar bills out of her pocket.

"What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm gonna go get dessert," she replied casually.

His face lit up, "Dessert?"

She smiled and nodded, "Want some Joey?" Her tone was purposefully soft and alluring.

It was like a drug dealer trying to get a new customer, and he abruptly shook his head, declining her offer. "No! And you shouldn't either!" he scolded.

"Oh, c'mon Joe!" she frowned, "They have chocolate cake." She almost sang the words, trying to entice him.

"No. No dessert for me! And none for you **either**!"

She scoffed, "I'm getting dessert!" She started for the counter, but he physically stopped her by grabbing a hold of her waist.

"I'm not gonna let you do it!" he announced, struggling with her as she tried to break free, "I'm not gonna let you eat yourself into a size one hundred!"

"Let me go! I want cake! I need cake!" She sounded half crazed, which just added to his concern.

"No!" he held her tighter, the scene drawing attention. "What are you looking at?" he asked the bystanders who had stopped to stare, "There's nothing to see here!" he snapped at them, "Move along!"

Monica continued to struggle. "Joey!" she yelled, angry and getting angrier, "You let me go!" 

"Not till you promise me you won't eat anymore!" he haggled. 

"You should talk!" she ridiculed, "You're like a human garbage disposal!"

"I just eat cause it tastes good!" he barked back, "I don't use it as a vice!"

With that word she stopped fighting him. "Oh wow," she muttered, almost to herself, "I **was** using food as a vice, wasn't I?"

He nodded as he loosened his grip on her, "You've had enough food, Mon. I'm cutting you off."

She nodded, suddenly very embarrassed. "Can you take me back to my hotel room now?"

He put his arm around her, comforting her. "Sure. And I'll help you talk to Chandler if you want."

She shook her head, "No. I need to face him alone." She sighed, "Will you stay with me till he comes back though?"

He smiled as he led her out of the restaurant, "Sure."

*****

--"I know Monica deserves better than me," Chandler lamented, "But, she says she wants me. **Me**." He shrugged largely, "I don't know why, but, I know I love her."

"You don't know why you love her?" Phoebe asked, confused.

"No, I **meant**, I don't know why **she** loves **me**!"

"Ok, well, let's think about it," she suggested, tapping her finger to her chin, her expression intense as she pondered. "Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly, "You're cute!"

He scoffed, "Hardly."

"Ok," she pondered further, "You have a good paying job!"

"Yeah, but it's not like I'm rich or anything."

"Hmmm, good point," she agreed. "Oh! Maybe you're really good in bed!"

He shrugged, "Eh."

She sighed. "Ok," she announced, "Let's list the reasons you like her!" She gave it some thought. "Oh! She can cook!"

"Yeah." He acknowledged, "She's bossy and competitive and compulsively neat."

"No," Phoebe corrected, "We're listing things you **do** like."

His smile broadened, "Thing is, I **do** like those things. I like everything about her. I like how passionate and self-assured she is, and God is she hot."

"Yeah?" Phoebe smirked, "And I'm guessing the sex is pretty great."

"Yeah baby!" He confirmed enthusiastically, sounding more Joey than Chandler.

"Best you've ever had?" she pressed further.

He nodded, "Hands down."

"Yeah, well, you've never had me." She mumbled with a smile, "I'm very bendy."

He looked to her abruptly and she licked her lips seductively, winking playfully…

"Bing wedding?" the receptionist asked Chandler and Phoebe, they both stood and nodded. "They're ready for you now."

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…

In: 'The One With All The Worry'


	17. The One With All The Worry

**__**

The One With All The Worry

Chapter Seventeen

Continued from: 'TOW The Fear'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Monica paced nervously as she listened to Joey's side of the phone conversation.

"Yeah, brownish hair, kinda blue, I guess, eyes. Probably wearing some dorky sweater vest," he said into the phone, "Answers to the name 'Chandler'." He nodded to Monica as he listened. "Ok, do you know where they went?" He shook his head when Monica looked at him expectantly. "Ok, thanks."

He hung up the phone, then turned to his anxious friend, "He was there, but he left. He's with Phoebe," he added, "But the guy doesn't know where they were headed."

"I'm starting to get really worried here, Joey," she moaned, starting to pace again.

"He's fine," Joey soothed. "He's drunk off his ass," he added, "but he's fine."

She stopped turning circles and looked to him abruptly. "He got drunk?"

Joey shrugged, "That's what the bartender said."

Monica sighed, "He got drunk because of me." She grabbed for a container of macadamia nuts, but Joey snatched them from her hands.

*****

--Phoebe and Chandler staggered out of the wedding chapel arm in arm, holding on to each other to keep from falling to the ground.

"Congratulations!" she squealed, backing away from her husband just slightly and throwing a handful of rice at him. "You did it! How do you feel?"

"Pretty good!" he replied as he swatted the rice off himself. "And a little like I need to hurl," he added, his smile dropping as his stomach lurched.

"Ewww. Oh!" she moved away from him just in case he puked right then. "We should take you back to the hotel so you can puke in your own toilet."

"I can't go back to the room like this!" he gestured to his drunken state. "Monica will kill me!"

"Ok. I can fix you!"

"Fix me?" he repeated incredulously. "You're not taking me to the vet, right?"

"And have Monica kill **me**?! She wants kids eventually ya'know!" She grabbed his arm, "C'mon!"

He followed clumsily, trying to keep up and balance, "Notice how all night has been spent with you dragging me from one place to another?"

*****

--"Maybe we should go try and find them," Monica suggested, antsy and concerned.

"They'll show up," Joey reassured her as he flipped channels on the TV, belly down on her bed.

"I'm worried, Joey. What if they're passed out somewhere? What if they were staggering across the street and got hit by a car?"

He moved into a sitting position, "Well, not so sure about Chandler, but I **know** Phoebe can hold her liquor."

Monica fidgeted, hugging herself and rubbing her arms anxiously. "I can't take the waiting anymore. Joey, please, can you go see if you can find them?"

"Where would I even look?" he asked as he clicked off the TV.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Please?"

Seeing her distress, he nodded, then headed for the door. "I'll call you as soon as I know anything."

"Thanks Joey."

He was halfway out the door when he walked back in and grabbed the can of macadamia nuts off the dresser, threw her a scolding look, then left.

*****

--Monica jumped at the sound of the phone ringing, lunging for it to answer it. "Chandler?!"

"No," came the familiar voice, "it's Joey, but I found them."

"What? Already? You've only been gone, like, fifteen minutes!"

"Yeah, well, I went back to my hotel room to grab some condoms and--"

"Condoms?!" she interrupted, "Why on earth did you need condoms?!"

"Hey," he defended himself, "This is Vegas! There's no telling who I might've run in to!" He heard her sigh in irritation, but continued anyway, "Well, so, anyway, they're here. Both of them."

"In your room? Are they ok? Let me talk to Chandler!"

"They're both pretty much gone. I shook him a bit to try and wake him, but he just mumbled and turned away. I think he just needs to sleep it off."

"Ok, well, I'm coming over then."

Joey looked over at the very unconscious Chandler and shrugged, "Well, you can if you want to, but he's pretty much out cold."

She rubbed at her eyes, tired and frustrated. "Ok, ok. Just-- send him to me in the morning, ok?"

"Sure thing," he agreed. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she replied, "I'm just-- I'm glad he's ok and all, but now I have to wait to talk to him. And I kinda just wanted to get it over with."

"Don't worry about that now," he instructed. "Just try and get some sleep, ok? Tomorrow, you'll talk to him, and everything will be fine. You'll see."

"Yeah. Ok," Monica reluctantly agreed, "Night Joey."

"Night." Joey hung up the phone, then turned to face his newest dilemma-- where was he going to sleep?

He looked back and forth between Phoebe and Chandler, the both of them sprawled out on separate beds like the week's wash. He had to make a decision. After the day he'd had at the gay burlesque show, he didn't fancy the idea of sleeping with Chandler. 

Then he looked to Phoebe. She had been drinking, he knew that for a fact. If he climbed into bed with her, and she were to wake up in the night, she might get the wrong idea. Plus, with Ross and Rachel married, and Monica and Chandler together, he wasn't so sure that treading so close to 'the line' was in his or her best interest.

He looked back at Chandler and sighed, patting his back firmly. "Dude! You're in my bed! Move over!"

Chandler grumbled something incoherent, then rolled over to the other side of the bed and onto his back.

Joey scowled, then groaned. "Hating this!" He shook Chandler again, "Dude! If you hurl, you could choke! Roll over, man!"

When Chandler didn't make any attempt to move, Joey started to physically roll him.

"Not tonight, babe," Chandler muttered, "I'm **so** wasted."

Joey grimaced and backed away abruptly. "Aaahhh! I don't **think** so!" He turned to Phoebe's bed and touched her shoulder gently, "Pheebs? Can I sleep with you in your bed? I promise to be a perfect gentleman, it's just, Chandler's sleeping in my bed."

Phoebe moaned, "And this bed is **just right**." She rolled over and patted the bed beside her, "Stay-- your-- side--" she mumbled.

He carefully climbed into bed, "No problem. Thanks Pheebs."

"Mmmm…" she hummed, "Sleep."

*****~*****

--Something tore Chandler from his sleep, sitting up abruptly causing his head to spin and throb, his stomach to roll with nausea. He groaned as he held his head, then looked around him at the room. It wasn't his room. He noticed the sleeping forms on the bed across from him… Joey and Phoebe. Joey and Phoebe? Together in the same bed? 

*What the hell happened last night?* his subconscious asked his brain, to which his brain had no response.

Noticing they were both fully dressed, he figured the situation that led to them sleeping in the same bed must've been harmless. He carefully moved to sit at the edge of the bed, struggling to remember the events of the night before.

Alcohol. He remembered that much. Everything else was a blur. He remembered meeting up with Phoebe, and she joined him in his attempt to pickle his liver, but much beyond that he couldn't recall.

Had they met up with Joey at some point? He didn't remember Joey being with them.

Chandler held his head and moaned, his hangover severe beyond any he'd ever remembered having… even from his college days.

The sound of Chandler's pain woke Joey, who gently moved off the bed so as not to disturb Phoebe. He stood above Chandler, arms crossed like a father who had just caught his kid smoking behind the shed. "Mornin!"

His voice sounded unreasonably loud to Chandler, who winced and put his hand over his ears. "Sssshhhh…" he hissed, "Hangover."

"Good!" Joey exclaimed. "You have any idea what you put Monica through last night?!"

Chandler hung his head in shame.

"You need to go talk to her!"

Chandler nodded, "I know. I can't like this though. I need pills. I need a shower."

"You can use my shower. I'll call downstairs and get you some Tylenol or something." Joey snipped angrily, "But then you need to go and talk to her."

He nodded slowly, "I will."

Joey shook his head in disgust, "What the hell did you two do last night?"

Chandler shrugged, "I don't remember. I was too wasted."

"Well, it was a good thing you were with Phoebe then! So that you weren't out doing something horribly stupid!"

He nodded, squinting as if in thought.

"What?" Joey asked, noting the expression.

"I don't know. I thought I was remembering something, but--" he scowled, "It's gone now."

Joey rolled his eyes, "Fine. Whatever. I'm gonna go get you a change of clothes from Monica and I'll go get you some pain pills and **you** go take a shower."

Chandler accepted his friend's admonishment, feeling worthy of that and more. "Thanks Joey."

Joey nodded, a slight smile following. He couldn't stay mad at his best friend for long. "No problem."

*****

--Monica paced the room, her night's sleep anything but restful. She tried to call Joey's room, but the operator said that the room had requested all calls be blocked for the night. She was two steps from going over there when there was a knock at her door.

She flew to the door and opened it, half expecting to see Chandler, but Joey was on the other side instead.

"Joey? What's wrong?"

He shook his head, a smile to reassure her, "Nothing. Chandler just needs a change of clothes cause he's taking a shower."

Monica sighed, relieved, then headed for the dresser drawers, grabbing him a change of clothes. Everything down to socks and underwear. "How is he?" she asked as she handed Joey the pile of clean clothes.

"Fine. Hung over, but fine."

"Do you have headache pills?"

"I was gonna go downstairs and get him some."

"I have some," she informed, grabbing her purse and rummaging. "Did he say what he was out doing all night?"

"He says he can't he remember. He musta had an insane amount of alcohol."

She nodded as she handed Joey the bottle of pain reliever. "Phoebe ok?"

He nodded, "Still asleep when I left."

"Good. Ok." She hugged herself anxiously. "Send him over when he's done showering."

Joey nodded. "Look, ya'know, maybe it's none of my business here, but, I know how worried you are about talking to him about his dad and all. And, well, just so you know, he's feeling really guilty about being out all night and getting hammered." He smiled a bit impishly, "If he gets too worked up, you may be able to use that to your advantage."

She smirked slightly at Joey's attempt to help, "Thanks. I'll keep it in mind."

*****

--"Dude," Joey called out as he entered the steamy bathroom, "Your clothes are here on the counter." He shook the bottle of pills, "And Monica had--" he squinted as he read the label on the bottle. "Ace-tam--" he tried to sound it out phonetically--

"Acetaminophen?" Chandler asked with a smirk.

"Yeah," Joey shrugged. "Ok. Anyway, it's here on the counter too. And I ordered strong coffee from room service. Your treat."

Chandler nodded, "Billfold's in my pant's back pocket."

"K." Joey found the wallet and the money quickly, and held several $20's in his hand, the thought of taking a few tempting. He shook his head as he reprimanded himself, then took just a single $20 from Chandler's possession. "I took a $20. I'm sure there'll be change."

"Fine."

--Joey left the bathroom, a cool breeze wafting through before the heat of the shower squelched it. Chandler felt like a heel. He left Monica alone to worry, all because of a silly fight. Then got plastered. Worse still was the fact that he couldn't even remember where'd he'd been, or what he'd been out doing all night.

She would ask, he knew she would, and the only answer he had for her was 'I don't remember'. He scowled as he imagined how that conversation would go, then rinsed the soap from his hair.

He turned off the water and stepped out into the cloud of steam, his reflection in the mirror barely visible due to the fog that hung on it. He swiped at it with a towel, but it did little good. Once his towel was securely wrapped around his waist, he reached for the bottle of pain reliever, reading the instructions silently, for the most part, to himself.

"Two pills every six hours," he muttered, then opened the bottle and dropped three pills into his hand. "This is much worse than a two-pill hangover." He popped the pills into his mouth, then turned the water faucet on and collected water into his hand, slurping it quickly before it dribbled out and into the sink.

He grabbed his pile of clothes and exited the warm bathroom, shivering at the cold of the main room.

"Coffee's here," Joey informed, pouring Chandler some.

"Uuuuggghhh…" Chandler groaned as he plopped down on the bed.

"Still no memory of last night?" Joey asked as he handed him his mug.

Chandler shook his head, "None." He carefully sipped the hot liquid, not wanting to burn his tongue. "Maybe Phoebe will remember."

"Maybe." Joey glanced her way as he agreed. "You got **that** shit-faced over a fight?"

"Monica told you we fought?"

Joey nodded, "Over seeing your dad."

Chandler hung his head. "It's not just that we fought," he explained. "She doesn't understand how much **not** seeing him means to me. Either that or she does understand but just doesn't care."

"She cares. She cares a lot. Maybe **you're** the one who doesn't understand, huh? So, seeing your dad would be uncomfortable! Believe me, I know how that feels!" He scoffed at the irony.

"How? How do you know?"

Joey's eyes grew wide, then he covered as he shook his head. "Ok, so, maybe I don't know. But, all Monica wants is to meet the man. She's not asking for you to invite him over on holidays or what-have-you. And so you're uncomfortable for a bit as you all three sit in the same room together for an hour or whatever. Big deal! If she wants it, you should be willing to be flexible! Don'tcha think?"

Chandler shrugged, "I guess. But it's not just about me being uncomfortable."

"Ok, so, what's it about?"

"Monica seeing what a loser family I come from and breaking it off with me."

Joey smiled, "Dude. That's not gonna happen."

"How do you know that?"

Joey knew if he continued the conversation, he was going to slip up and say too much. He decided his best option was to leave before that happened. "Cause she loves you," he answered simply, then stood to leave. "I gotta go. And so do you," he added. "Go talk to her."

Chandler watched him leave, then glanced over at Phoebe when he heard her stir.

"Mornin Pheebs."

She groaned, "Mornin hubby."

He stared at her in bewilderment for several moments before his eyes grew wide and he leapt off the bed, the night before coming back in a rush.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…


	18. The One With All The Pacing

**__**

The One With All The Pacing

Continued from: 'TOW All The Worry'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Chandler suddenly looked like a caged animal, his eyes wide as he paced sporadically around the room.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed, mostly to himself but not at all quietly.

"What?" Phoebe asked as she pulled herself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain doing so caused.

He looked at her for a moment, bewildered by her state of calm, then began pacing again. "Oh my God!"

"You already said that," Phoebe muttered. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?!" he nearly yelled, "Oh my **God**! We didn't--"

"Sleep together?" she cut his question off. "No. After we got married we came back here and went to sleep," she replied casually. "Oh, and you hurled at least twice," she added, then pointed at the room service cart. "Coffee?"

He grabbed a mug and poured her a cup, handing it to her, his expression a cross between absolutely flabbergasted and pained. "Oh my God!"

"Ok, you need to stop saying that now," Phoebe demanded. "What's with you anyways?"

"What?! What's **with** me?!" he asked as if the reason for his hysteria was obvious. "We got **married**!"

"I know," she scoffed. "I'm the one that suggested it."

"Why?! Why?! Why did you suggest it?!"

"To help you get over your fears," she shrugged apathetically as she sipped her coffee. "Don't you remember?"

"**No** I don't remember!"

She chuckled, "You really can't hold your liquor, can you?"

He scowled at her for a moment, irritated by her quip. "Oh my God!" he threw his hands in the air, "Monica is gonna kill me!"

"Why?" she questioned, "It's not like it's a real marriage."

He looked at her as if she had lost her marbles, and at the moment he wasn't entirely certain that she hadn't. "What?!"

She sighed, "Man, you really **don't** remember last night at all, do you?"

He gestured largely as if to say '**Duh**!'

"If you get married in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas," she explained.

When she said it, he remembered. He remembered her saying it the night before. And he remembered going along with it. "Oh my God! Phoebe! That is **not** true! When you get married in Vegas, you're married **everywhere**!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh! I'll prove it to you!" He located her shoes, handed them to her, then grabbed her hand as he headed for the door, dragging her with.

"Chandler! Where are we going?!"

"Back to the scene of the crime!"

*****

--Monica paced the floor, biting her nails to keep from running from the room, worried about Chandler's whereabouts. She tried once again to call Joey's room, but the block still hadn't been lifted. The thought of going over there entered her mind more than once, but she was concerned that if she did, they would somehow miss each other in the halls.

It was best to stay put, so that's what she did. But her mind swam with horrible thoughts. Maybe Chandler found out about her going to see his dad. Maybe Joey let it slip. Maybe he was so angry that he just left to get drunk again, or worse, leave Vegas without her.

She scoffed at the thought of that once she realized how ridiculous it sounded. After all, she had the plane tickets in **her** bag. Maybe he just took off with Joey to go gamble or something, she thought. Or maybe they went to a strip club. A heterosexual strip club, she panicked, with gorgeous half-naked women. And then maybe one of them would invite them back stage and they would--

--The knock at the door startled Monica out of her thoughts, and she ran to answer it, expecting to see Chandler.

"Hey, Mon," Rachel greeted cheerfully, "You and Chandler wanna come with us to grab some breakfast?" she asked, then leaned in with a smirk. "If **we** can leave **our** room, you guys can leave yours."

Monica's face had dropped at the sight of her brother and sister-in-law, disappointed. "No thanks."

It was then that Rachel noticed how down she seemed. "Hey, is something wrong?"

Monica gestured for them to come in, "Chandler stayed out all night and got drunk," she admitted, needing to talk to someone about it.

"What?" Ross asked, annoyed. "Why?"

"We had a stupid fight," Monica sighed, "Over going to see his dad."

Ross shook his head, "Yeah, well, he wants nothing to do with him."

Monica glared at her brother, "I know that, Ross. But, it's been so many years and-- I just wanted to meet him," she added sadly.

"His dad is a great source of heartache and embarrassment for Chandler," Ross explained, "It took years of friendship for him to even tell me anything about him."

"I know, but, he's not the same little boy that was devastated by a divorce, and Charles isn't the same man who abandoned his family for a whole new lifestyle."

Ross eyed Monica suspiciously. "You went to go see him, didn't you."

She dropped to the bed and put her face in her hands. "Yes," she whined. "He's gonna kill me, isn't he?"

Rachel sat beside her, "No, honey, he's not. He loves you. He'll be bent out of shape for a while, but he'll come around."

"You think?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course." Ross echoed his wife's optimism. "Just, tell him what you did--"

"Then offer yourself to him," Rachel added. "He'll forgive you anything then."

Ross rolled his eyes and headed for the door. "Coming?" he asked as he glanced over his shoulder at Rachel.

Rachel shrugged as she grinned at Monica, then stood to leave. "Good luck, Mon."

"Yeah," Ross added, "Good luck, sis."

*****

--Chandler entered the chapel a beat before Phoebe, luckily, she remembered which chapel they had gotten married in. He approached the receptionist, a forced chuckle to go with a forced smile, attempting to hide his distress…

"Hello," he greeted her cheerfully. "My friend here and I have a bet, and we we're hoping you could settle it for us."

The receptionist looked at him skeptically, her brow furrowed at the odd request, "I can try."

Chandler chuckled again, "When you get married in Vegas, it is a legally binding marriage everywhere, right?"

The receptionist nodded, "Of course."

The chuckle that followed almost sounded pained, and he nodded his thanks before pulling Phoebe aside. "We are in **deep** trouble here!"

"When you get married in Vegas, you're married everywhere?" Phoebe asked in shock, verifying what had just been said.

"Yes! Phoebe!" he snipped, trying to keep his voice down. "What are we going to do?!"

"I don't know!"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, frustrated and desperate for answers. "Maybe we should ask, like, a divorce lawyer or something."

"Oh, well, I don't know," she dismissed the idea with a shake of her head.

"What?!" he asked frantically, then looked around at the attention his outburst had caused. "What?" he asked, calmer, "What don't you know?"

"I don't know if I want another divorce."

His eyes widened at her serious statement. "What?!"

"Well, I already got divorced from my gay ice dancer husband, I don't want to have another divorce before I'm even 30!"

"Phoebe!" he exclaimed, remembering to keep his voice down only after getting glared at by the receptionist, "We can't stay married!" he whispered urgently.

"I don't know. Maybe we can!" she offered brightly.

"No! We can't! I'm in love with Monica! This was just a mistake!"

"You know," she said with a slight pout, "I know I didn't think the marriage was real and all, but that was just mean."

He rolled his eyes and sighed, "Phoebe, you know I love you, but, I'm not **in** love with you. I can't stay married to you cause eventually, I'm gonna want to marry Monica!"

His eyes registered shock as he heard himself admit it. He wanted to marry Monica.

Phoebe's smile grew wider, prouder, "I knew that little exercise would work."

He smiled along with her for a moment, till their dilemma came screaming back into his head. "Ok, so, **now** what do we do?!" he asked anxiously.

"Alright, alright. Calm down, will ya?" she rolled her eyes at his actions. "Geeez! We'll go talk to a divorce lawyer, and get one of those, **things**."

"A divorce?"

"No, it's quicker than a divorce," she replied as she strained to remember. "It's called something else."

"An annulment," the receptionist offered, then looked away sheepishly when Chandler threw her a dirty look for eavesdropping.

"That's it!" Phoebe exclaimed. "An Annulment. We'll get one of those!"

"Ok!" Chandler seemed excitedly relieved. "We'll do that! Let's go!" He enthusiastically headed for the door.

"Where?" Phoebe asked, making no move to follow him.

He stopped dead in his tracks and spun around, "To find a lawyer!"

"Well, it's not, like, instant," she explained, "We should wait till we get home to do it. Otherwise, we won't be able to meet with the lawyer we just hired, what with him being here in Vegas and us **not** being here in Vegas."

"Oh. Right. Ok," he agreed. "Good point."

"Ok, so, you go see Monica, and I'll go back to my room and shower and change. Cause **someone** drug me out of the room before I could even change out of last night's clothes!"

The receptionist snickered, and Phoebe glared at her, "Does this conversation include you?! I don't think so!" She dismissed her with a wave of her hand, then turned back to Chandler.

"Ok, but now, we **don't** tell Monica!" he suggested. "Agreed?"

She nodded, "Agreed."

*****

--Monica sat on the bed, blankly watching the TV weatherman on the local news report that it was going to be hot. Yeah, well, with it being Vegas, she thought, you don't exactly need a degree in meteor science to call that one. She clicked off the television and dropped back onto the bed to stare at the ceiling.

She had moved past feeling frantic with worry, and had moved on to feeling almost numb. He'd been gone for almost 24 hours, after storming out over a fight she blamed herself for. She hated herself. She tried to hate Chandler, for being gone, for getting drunk, for causing her so much grief, but her guilt kept creeping back in, making it impossible to be angry at him for long. 

She'd already chewed her nails down to the skin, paced a worn spot into the rug, and helped the maid clean the room when she had stopped by. There was nothing left for her to do but wait, so that's what she did. She sat in the room, and waited. And waited.

--Chandler paced outside the door to their room, nervous about knocking. Tense about facing Monica after all he'd put her through. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but that was exactly what he'd done. He was riddled with guilt, knowing how frantic she must've been, all the while he was out marrying one of their closest and dearest friends, drunk off his ass.

He looked down at the roses he had bought, feeling stupid for having such a lame peace offering after all he'd done, and all within a 24 hour period of time. He mentally admonished himself, knowing he couldn't put off the inevitable any longer. Finally, he knocked on the door.

--When there was a knock on the door, the hope that it was Chandler was fleeting. After so many false alarms, it was hard for her to believe that he would actually be on the other side of the door. 

As she opened the door, and Chandler came into view, she gasped. He stood before her, wearing an apologetic smile and holding a bouquet of roses in his hand.

"Chandler?" she whispered, almost as if she was seeing a phantom of her imagination.

"Hey, sweetie." He extended the roses, but she didn't take them. She just walked back into the hotel room.

He closed his eyes briefly, pained, before entering the room and closing the door, placing the flowers on the dresser.

"I know you were worried. I know I caused you grief, and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I was just going to have a few drinks to calm down, next thing I knew, I was plastered. I didn't want you to see me like that, so, I went to Joey's room to sleep it off."

She nodded. 

"You hate me now, don't you?"

"No, I don't hate you," she informed him. "But I'm upset. And angry. I was worried about you," she looked into his eyes, "And I missed you," she sighed. "This was supposed to be our romantic getaway!" her voice rose in volume, "Not exactly **my** idea of romantic. Up all night pacing."

He nodded as he hung his head. "If I hadn't been so drunk, I would've called you. Everything was, **distorted**, last night."

"But things never would've gotten '**distorted**' if you hadn't left in the first place!" she snapped. "Chandler, you can't just storm out every time we have a disagreement."

"I know that."

"You can't just go out and get plastered cause you're irritated!"

"I know that, too." 

"And you can't keep using what happened to you on Thanksgiving when you were nine as an escape from responsibility! You have to get over this!"

"Easy for you to say!" he snapped, "Your parents are normal!"

She scoffed, "Have you **met** my parents?!"

"Hey, they're still together, right? Your dad didn't abandon you, did he? He didn't show up at your high school swim meet dressed as Carmen Miranda, complete with fruit-laced headdress, offering the fruit atop it to all your friends, as a **healthy snack**!"

Monica tried not to laugh at the image he painted, but it was hard not to, and a slight chuckled escaped, her hand flying to her mouth to cover it. Chandler noticed, and within a few seconds, he cracked a smile.

She smiled in return, but both their grins slowly faded as the seriousness of the moment reclaimed their attention. "At least he showed up. He was making an effort, Chandler."

"Yeah, well, too little too late."

"You need to do something about this, Chandler. You won't eat 'Thanksgiving food' because of it. You use it as an excuse for why you can't commit to a serious relationship. I really think you need to see your dad. I think seeing him would be a big step towards healing old wounds."

"I don't want to," he insisted. "I have nothing to say to him."

"Well, he has plenty to say to you," she stated after a brief hesitation.

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"He wants to apologize to you. He's sorry for everything he's put you through."

"Monica…?" His tone was scolding as he began to piece together just what it was she was telling him.

She sighed, ready to jump from the frying pan into the fire. "I went to see your dad yesterday," she finally admitted, then squinted as she recoiled, awaiting the aftermath to come.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…

In: 'The One With The Aftermath'


	19. The One With The Aftermath

**__**

The One With The Aftermath

Chapter nineteen

Continued from: 'TOW All The Pacing'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--"I went to see your dad yesterday," Monica admitted timidly, awaiting Chandler's reaction with a sense of dread.

He looked at her blankly for a moment, like he didn't hear her correctly, but then her words sunk in. "What? You did what?!"

"I know you're upset with me--"

"You had **NO** right to do that, Monica! **No** right!"

She sighed, "I'm sorry, ok? You have every right to be angry, but, I just wanted to meet him! And then when you forbade me--"

"Which apparently means nothing because you went behind my back and did it anyway!" He turned sharply and headed for the door.

"Chandler! Don't you do it!" she snapped, aware that he was preparing to storm out. "Don't you walk out that door! I spent the last 24 hours worried sick about you! Worried sick about having this conversation with you! You are **not** going to disappear on me again!"

He stopped his departure at the door, turning slightly, but not facing her, his gaze planted on the ugly green rug. He wanted to just leave, and he was moments from escape, seconds from fleeing the unwanted conversation, when a thought occurred to him: he had no right passing judgement, when he was guilty of worse. He got drunk, married Phoebe, vowed to keep it from Monica forever.

"Just hear me out," Monica pleaded. "That's all I ask."

"Fine." He remained where he was, his reply cold and distant. "Talk."

"I found the ad in the yellow pages," she began. "He came out and sat with us before going on--"

"Us?" he interrupted.

She winced. "Joey went with me."

Chandler rolled his eyes dramatically. "Unbelievable!"

"I only asked Joey to come along because I didn't want to meet your father alone," she explained. "I had to bribe him, if that helps."

"With?"

"Meatball sub."

He gestured for her to continue.

"He knows so little about you, Chandler. He's tried to get in contact with you. He's sent you letters--"

"I don't want him in my life, Monica. I tore the letters up and threw them away."

"He's sorry for what he's put you through. He really is. He wanted me to tell you that."

"What did he say to you?" he grumbled, not ready to give up his anger.

She shrugged, "He mostly asked questions. He said his 'coming out' was hard on you, and that he knows he wasn't very good at handling it."

"Handling it?!" he asked with loud annoyance. "He didn't **handle it**! He ran away from it!"

"I know."

"Him being **sorry** isn't enough! He walked **out** on me, I have no intention of walking **in** to him!" He rolled his eyes when he realized the sentence did not come out the way he'd meant it to.

"I know he hurt you, Chandler, but he wants to get to know you again."

"No way."

"He wants to make amends."

"I don't care!"

"Chandler," she sighed, "Can't you at least talk to him? Just have a conversation with him, before deciding to shut him out of your life forever?"

"You don't understand, Mon."

"Then explain it to me, Chandler."

He paused for a moment, then exhaled sharply, "Why is this even so important to you, anyway?"

She shrugged. "I want to know you better. I think a lot of who you are comes from your parents."

"Unfortunately," he replied under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing," he muttered as he shook his head. Her reasons for wanting to meet his father made Chandler cringe. It had been exactly what he'd been afraid of. Now, after having met him, she knew. She had to know. He was like his father. Scared of commitment. Unable to make a relationship or marriage work. Would she leave him? He was so deep in thought and worry that he didn't even realize it when tears began sliding down his face.

She saw a tear trickle down his cheek, and she gathered him into her arms to comfort him. "I'll support whatever decision you make," she told him softly, "But…" She pulled back slightly and retrieved a matchbook out of her pocket, "Here's the address of 'Viva Las GayGus'. Just in case." 

Chandler took it from her hesitantly, tapping his finger on it nervously as he looked at the neon words on stark black.

"I know it won't be easy," she whispered, "But, I think you should do this."

After several minutes of him saying and doing nothing, he nodded. "Ok," he whispered, "If it means that much to you, we'll go see him."

"Don't do it for me, Chandler," she instructed, "Do it for yourself."

"Then, I choose not to go."

"Ok," she corrected herself, "You can do it for me."

He smiled just slightly. "You are **so** competitive. You always have to win, don't you?"

She shrugged, "I just don't like to lose."

"And if you don't lose, you…" he trailed off, looking for her to complete the sentence.

"Ok, I like winning. Doesn't everybody?"

He pulled her into his arms, "Not as much as you do." He leaned in and kissed her, almost possessively, trying to prove to himself that she was his. Trying to find proof in intimacy that she would not be leaving him.

She was taken aback by his fervency, but she kept the frenzied momentum he started, herself still wound up from the argument and stress of the situation, she returned his almost aggressive affection frantically.

"I really missed you last night," she breathed as his lips latched on to her neck.

He moaned as he grabbed and pulled at her clothes, disrobing her before stripping himself of his clothes, making love to her as much for pleasure as for stating his intentions… they belonged to each other.

*****

--Chandler and Monica walked hand-in-hand into 'Viva Las GayGus', his grip becoming tighter as the cross-dressed waiter approached.

"Ah, back again I see," he smiled at Monica, looking Chandler up and down, causing him to fidget uncomfortably. "But with a new man."

Monica smiled politely. "This is my boyfriend."

"Ah. Another straight one," he pouted, disappointed. "Pity." He led them to their table, then took their drink order.

"And could you tell Charles-- umm, I mean, Helena, that Monica is here to see him- her- him." She smiled awkwardly as an apology for not knowing how to classify him.

The waiter smiled, "Of course dear."

"Well, you seem chummy with the waiter person," Chandler snipped. 

It wasn't jealousy, and Monica knew that, he was lashing out due to anxiety. "Hush," she told him, squeezing his hand. "It's going to be fine," she soothed. "And I'm right here if you need me."

He sighed, relieved to have her beside him.

When his dad came into view, he tensed up and froze, and then their eyes made contact. Monica stood, and Chandler stood at her prompt, his eyes threatening to spill the tears that had been pooling.

Helena closed the gap, approaching the table, standing before the son he hadn't seen in almost a decade. A small smile crossed his lips as he extended his hand towards Chandler…

*****

--"Hey, Pheebs!" Joey called to her across the crowded casino.

"Joey! Hey!" she greeted him excitedly. "What's up?"

"You tell me! What the hell did you and Chandler do last night?" he asked, his voice almost scolding. "And more importantly," he added, "What in the hell did you guys drink?"

She fidgeted a bit, knowing she couldn't answer him truthfully. "Well, we drank, just, lots. And then, we pretty much wandered around before going back to our room and crashing."

"Monica was all kinds of worried," he confided in her, "She kept thinking the worst."

"Like?" Phoebe asked, concerned.

He shrugged. "Like, you were staggering across the street and got hit by a car. Stuff like that."

"But, she wasn't thinking he'd go and, like, get married or anything, right?"

"Married?" he scoffed. "Who would he marry?"

She chuckled along with him so that he wouldn't become suspicious. "Right. Good question. Plus, with him being so drunk and all…" she added.

"So?" Joey questioned her. "They let you get married when you're drunk! Hell, most people who get married in Vegas **are** drunk!"

She smiled uneasily, trying not to give away anything by her reaction. 

"Hey, you hungry?" he changed the subject, oblivious to her concern, "I know this **great** sub place."

"Ok. Sure," she agreed, secure in the knowledge that Joey hadn't caught on to her distress. 

They headed for the door, her following his lead…

"Hey, did you know that when you get married in Vegas, it's, like, a **real** marriage?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Why wouldn't it be?"

She rolled her eyes in frustration, "Well, apparently **everyone** knows **that** little factoid!"

*****

--Chandler made no move to take his father's outstretched hand, instead, he just stared at the man who had become more and more a stranger to him as the years passed.

Helen dropped his hand to his side, an awkward smile crossing his face only briefly before his expression grew serious. "How are you, son?"

Monica looked between her boyfriend and his father, the tension thick. She rubbed Chandler's back for reassurance, trying to help him move past the stressfulness of the situation.

He turned to her, not looking her in the eye out of shame. "I'm sorry, I can't do this." He pushed past Monica and headed for the door without so much as even glancing back.

Monica looked at Chandler's father apologetically. "Helen, I'm so--"

"I know," he nodded, a tear streaking through his make up. "Go with him Monica."

She turned in time to see Chandler disappear out the door, then turned back to Helen. "I'm sorry."

He smiled, but Monica could tell he was hurting. She hugged him, then grabbed her purse off the nearby table and ran after Chandler.

*****

--Monica spotted him up ahead, weaving in and out of the crowd of people, and she jogged to catch up with him, calling out to him to gain his attention.

"Chandler! Chandler! Wait up!"

She wasn't sure if he'd heard her, cause he didn't stop, but after a few moments, he slowed down.

"I told you it was a mistake, Monica," he reminded her as soon as she was within earshot. "I just couldn't do it."

"What was it Chandler?" she asked, panting, "The make up? The wig?"

He rolled his eyes, looking away as he began walking briskly again. "I'm not homophobic, Mon."

"I know that, but I know his get-up is a lot to take. The man beneath all that is still your father."

"I know you want this Monica, but-- It's just not going to happen, ok?"

"Why?" Monica asked, frustrated. "Can you just answer me that? Why can't you even **talk** to him?"

"He is why I can't commit!" he blurted out, spinning around to face her. "He is why I run from my problems instead of facing them! He is the reason I'm a screw up!"

She sighed sadly, "Chandler…"

"I look at him, and I don't just see a man who made a mistake! A man who couldn't live with a lie any longer and therefore had to 'come out'! I see the man who is directly responsible for my fears about commitment!"

"He is not directly responsible for your fears, Chandler. Maybe indirectly--"

"I see myself when I look at him, and I don't like what I see."

"What do you see?"

"A man who is incapable of 'till death do us part'."

"You think because your father left your mother, that now you won't be able to make a marriage work?"

He shrugged, looking around at the crowd that had gathered. "This isn't street theater!" he snapped. "Move on!"

"Chandler," Monica's voice was firm, "You are not your father. He was struggling with his sexuality. Are you struggling with your sexuality?"

"No."

"Look, ok, you don't just suddenly become gay. Deep down, on some level, your father knew he was gay."

"Then why did he marry my mom?"

She shrugged, "That's something you're going to have to ask him."

Chandler looked back towards the showplace, his expression intense.

"It's time for you to stop running from this. It's time you faced your father."

He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair nervously.

"You want to go back?" she asked softly.

"Do I **want** to? No."

She smirked, "**Will** you go back?"

He turned to face her, "You'll be with me?"

"Absolutely."

"Fine," he sighed, "I'll talk to him."

*****

--Helen approached his son apprehensively. "You came back."

"I was hoping, we could talk." Chandler stammered uncomfortably.

"Sure," Helen smiled, then gestured for Chandler and Monica to take a seat.

Chandler took a deep breath, almost as if he was about to dive into deep waters, then looked his father straight in the eyes. "Why did you marry mom?"

Helen nodded, as if to say he understood this question was a long time coming. "I was trying to convince myself that I was someone I was not."

"You hurt her."

"She came out of it relatively unscathed."

"You hurt me."

"I know. And if I could take back the pain, I would."

"I don't know how to be in a relationship because of you! All I had growing up was Mom! And she was no help at all! Not as far as teaching me how to commit to someone is concerned."

"Well, Nora has issues."

"Because of you!"

Helen shook his head, "Now, that's not entirely true, Chandler. She had issues before I even married her."

"I had no role model for this! And now, I want more than anything to be able to be in a committed relationship, and I don't know how!"

"What don't you know?" Helen questioned.

"I don't know how to stop being afraid! I'm afraid I'll hurt her like you hurt Mom and I. I'm afraid of losing her, but I don't know how to keep her!"

His father chuckled and shook his head.

"Oh, glad to see my pain and torment is so amusing to you," Chandler snipped.

"Son, welcome to the wonderful world of being in love. This has nothing to do with me screwing you up. Or your mom's weird idiosyncrasies. This is what it feels like to be in love. The feeling that you want to be **nowhere else** but with her, but if you're with her, you could say or do something stupid and lose her."

Chandler just scowled for a moment, then shook his head, "But even before I fell in love I felt scared of commitment. Like if I tried, I would fail. And I **did** fail! At every relationship I tried!"

"Except this one." Helen added, glancing at Monica. "I admit that I wasn't any kind of role model for you, and maybe that planted the seed, that you would fail at relationships, because your 'ol man did. And maybe on some level you shied away from serious relationships because of it, but son, the rest is a natural reaction to being in love."

"You've psyched yourself up for failure, because I failed at my marriage with your mom," Helen continued. "Don't do that to yourself. You are not me and Monica is not your mom."

"But I don't know how to **be** in a relationship!"

"What's to know? You spend time with her. Love her, cherish her, and don't cheat on her. If you fight, work at resolving what caused it in the first place. And just, always take her feelings into consideration. The rest will fall into place."

"It's **that** simple?" Chandler asked, slightly miffed.

"Yeah," Helen nodded.

"Yep," Monica agreed, and Chandler quickly looked between the two of them. "You're making it out to be harder than it needs to be, Chandler," Monica added, "I've told you that before."

--Seeing that the walls of tension were finally broken down, Monica moved to sit at the bar while Chandler and his dad continued talking. She smiled as she saw them laugh a few times, pleased that the old wounds were started healing. When both men stood, they hugged, then shook hands, and Monica stood and approached.

Chandler put his arm around her, then smiled at his dad. "I'll see you in a few weeks then."

Helen nodded, "I'll call when I have all the flight information." He turned to Monica, "And I want to thank you, Monica. You gave me my son back."

She smiled as he hugged her in gratitude. It was just like she had envisioned, although the effort to get there was rougher than she had anticipated. Still, it was worth it. They were on their way to a new beginning.

*****

--Joey opened and closed each drawer, wanting to be sure that he didn't forget to pack anything, when he found the VHS tape. The only label on it said 'wedding memories', and he scowled as he looked at it.

"Pheebs?" he called out towards the bathroom, "What tape is this?"

"What?" Phoebe called back, not able to hear him well over the shower.

"This tape! Is it of Rachel and Ross' wedding?"

Not able to hear him, she answered the question she **thought** he asked. "Yeah!" she replied as she continued her shower.

Joey shrugged, confused as to why she would bring the tape along with her on vacation, then tucked it into his duffel bag.

**__**

TO BE CONTINUED…

In: 'The One Where It Finally Ends'


	20. The One Where It Finally Ends

**__**

The One Where It Finally Ends

Chapter Twenty

Continued from: 'TOW The Aftermath'

By: Jana~

*****~*****

--Chandler paced the office floor, looking around at all the older looking books on the several bookshelves that lined the walls, nervously wringing his hands as Phoebe sat seemingly unaffected by being there.

"Chandler," she scolded, "Stop pacing. You're making me motion sick!"

He stopped pacing and sat heavily in the chair next to her. "Look, Pheebs," he spoke quietly, "When the lawyer gets in here, let **me** do the talking."

Phoebe rolled her eyes, "You know, just cause I made a mistake doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"I know that," he agreed, "But I just think I should handle this, ok?"

She gestured towards him as if to say she was fine with it, but he could tell she was upset.

"Alright," the lawyer entered, which prompted Chandler and Phoebe to stand. "Mr. and Mrs. Bing?"

"No," Chandler corrected, "Mr. Chandler Bing and **Ms.** Phoebe Buffay."

The lawyer smiled and nodded. "Alright. Why don't we take a seat and you can tell me what happened."

"Well, you see," Chandler chuckled nervously, "We got a little bit drunk, and Phoebe was trying to be a good friend by helping me get over my fears about marriage. So, she suggested we go get married, because **she** thought a Vegas marriage wasn't a legal marriage. You know, like, it was just for fun?" 

The lawyer eyed him warily. 

"Anyway," Chandler continued, "Because I was drunk, when she said marriages in Vegas aren't '**real**', I believed it."

"So, you got married just for fun?" the lawyer asked.

"No," Phoebe corrected, "We got married so he could prove to himself that he could."

Chandler nodded and gestured towards Phoebe. "Exactly." 

"Have you ever had a relationship?" The lawyer gestured between the two of them.

"A romantic relationship?" Chandler asked, the lawyer nodded. "Not with each other, no."

"Ok, then you qualify for an annulment," the lawyer informed, starting to sift through papers.

"Great!" Chandler exclaimed, relieved, smiling at Phoebe.

"So, this isn't like a divorce, right?" Phoebe asked. "It's more like, erasing a mistake?"

The lawyer smirked, "I guess you could say that."

"And that would go for any marriage one had in Vegas, while under the assumption that Vegas weddings weren't valid?"

Chandler squinted at her, "Phoebe, how many times have you gotten married in Vegas?"

She shot him a look and shook her head, then smiled at the lawyer as his attention turned to her.

"Ok," the lawyer cleared his throat, dropping his look of bewilderment, "I'll need you to fill out these forms, then, I will draft the paperwork for you to fill out for the judge."

"Judge?" Phoebe asked.

"The judge makes it official," the lawyer explained in layman's terms. "Not to worry." He handed over the forms, then handed them each a pen. "Will you excuse me?" he asked, standing.

"Sure." Chandler nodded, then turned his attention to the form.

Once the lawyer had left the room, Chandler leaned towards Phoebe. "Seriously," he asked sotto, "How many times have you been married in Vegas?"

"Let's just say, this isn't the only mistake that needs erasing."

*****

--"Hey, Monica?" Joey asked as he entered her apartment, "Do you have tweezers?"

"Tweezers?" she repeated, "Yeah, I have tweezers." She headed for the bathroom, "Why do you need them?"

"Well, the chick and the duck got into it, and--"

"AH!" she waved her hands to stop him. "I don't want to know," she muttered in disgust, "And I don't want them back, either."

"Fair enough," he nodded, waiting for Monica to return from the bathroom.

"Here'ya go." She handed them to him, then went back to cleaning the kitchen counters.

"Thanks." He started to leave, but stopped as he remembered something. "Hey, Mon? I think I have your copy of Rachel and Ross' wedding."

She scowled, "How did you get it?"

"Phoebe brought it with her to Vegas," he replied as he played with the tweezers, smiling as he pinched them closed repeatedly.

"What? Are you sure?" she asked, her question bringing his attention back to her.

"Yeah." He gestured towards his apartment. "I'll go get it."

Monica watched him leave, then headed for the video cabinet to see if her copy of the wedding tape was missing. She found it right away, and held it up as Joey re-entered her apartment. "I have my copy."

Joey held up the tape in his hand, "Then, who's is this?" he asked. "Did Phoebe get her own copy!?" he complained. "I didn't get a copy!" he whined, "I want a copy!"

Monica took the tape from his hand and looked it over. "I don't think this is Rachel and Ross' wedding tape."

A confused expression crossed his face. "Huh?"

"Look," she pointed at the tape, "The label is all wrong. Ross and Rachel's tape says: 'Ross and Rachel's wedding', not 'wedding memories'."

"Then," he asked with a frown, "Who's wedding is it?"

"I don't know." She took the tape and popped it into the machine, "Let's find out." She grabbed the remote and hit 'play'.

Right away a picture of Chandler came into view, standing at an altar, in front of a preacher, with Phoebe walking into frame a moment later.

"Oh my God!" Joey exclaimed as he realized what he was seeing. "Chandler and Phoebe got **married**?! When?! How?!"

Monica stood in stunned silence, watching the tape as if it were a train wreck, and she couldn't take her eyes off it out of shock and disbelief.

"Hello children," Chandler greeted as he walked into the room, unaware that his good mood about to be shattered. He realized almost immediately what Joey and Monica were intently watching, and in an attempt to explain himself, began to stammer nervously, his words more gibberish than anything coherent.

Monica turned around, her eyes giving away her feelings of being totally betrayed. 

"Monica, please, just-- I know this looks bad, but-- I can explain…"

She glared at him, then stormed off into her bedroom and slammed the door.

"Dude! What the hell?!" Joey asked, pointing at the TV.

"Oh God," Chandler looked from the TV, to Joey, to Monica's bedroom door. "Oh no." His expression was pained as he panicked over what to do next.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Joey snapped.

"I wasn't, ok? I was drunk!" Chandler told him. "I was **DRUNK**!" he yelled out towards Monica's bedroom. He hit the stop button on the tape on his way to her closed door. "It was just a mistake, Monica, ok? Please don't freak out over this. I was drunk. I only did it to prove I could."

"Dude. Still." Joey scolded.

Chandler turned to look at him, "Joey, would you mind?" he gestured towards the front door, his way of asking him to leave.

"Fine." Joey huffed, then headed for the door.

"Monica, please," Chandler begged at the door, "Just-- just let me explain, ok?"

She threw open the door, and he could see she had been crying. "Why? Why can you commit to everyone but me?!"

He sighed, "Monica, please, think about this for a minute. Have I ever shown romantic feelings for Phoebe? No. Cause she's just my friend. We were drunk, she suggested getting married to help me get over my fear of marriage. She said if you get married in Vegas, you're only married in Vegas."

Monica scoffed. "Oh, please! You know better than that!" she exclaimed, her arms crossed and over her chest.

"When I'm not pickled in booze, sure. But in my impaired state, I believed her," he explained. "We're fixing it though, ok? We're getting an annulment. We met with the lawyer just today."

"If it was all so innocent," she argued, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you!" he replied determinedly. "I figured I could just get the annulment and you would never have to know."

She seemed reluctant to drop it, her expression continuing to show irritation. He was at a loss for how to prove himself to her, but then, he remembered something.

"I even said your name at the altar!" he blurted out, grabbing the VCR remote. "Look!" 

He found the spot on the tape through forward search, then hit play.

__

-- "Repeat after me," the minister instructed. "I Chanandelor, take thee, Regina, to be my wife. In sickness and in health, till death parts us."

"I, Chandler, take thee, Monica, to be wife."

The minister began to correct him as he glanced at Phoebe, but she just shook her head. "It's a nick-name," she told him, and he smiled. --

"See?!" Chandler exclaimed as he hit stop again. "I only did it cause Pheebs said it would help me get over my commitment fears!"

She sighed, hugging herself out of frustration. "What did the lawyer say?"

"We fill out some forms, then we go in front of the judge, then it's like it never happened."

"I want to be there," she insisted, "When you go in front of the judge."

He briefly, silently wondered why she would want to be there, but he nodded anyway. "Ok. Sure."

"Dude," Joey gave an up-nod to Chandler as he walked into the apartment, "You have a phone call." He handed him the phone, his tone still showing him to be angry, "From your lawyer."

Chandler took the phone, then glanced at Monica before taking the call. "Hello? ~ Yes, this is Chandler Bing. ~ What kind of problem? ~ Yeah, ok, I'll be right there." He hung up the phone, then sheepishly looked to Monica. "He wants to see me and Phoebe in his office. There's some kind of problem or something."

Monica rolled her eyes, "Of course there is." She marched over to the door and grabbed her purse off the hook. "I'm going with."

*****

--Chandler paced nervously in the lawyers office while Monica and Phoebe sat side-by-side, the tension between them thick.

"I didn't do it to upset you, Monica," Phoebe stated apologetically. "I was drunk. I was just trying to help him."

"I know," Monica replied distantly.

"I really don't have feelings for him. I really thought Vegas weddings were just for fun."

"It's fine, Phoebe," Monica snipped quietly, obviously upset.

Phoebe sighed, "How long are you gonna be mad at me?"

"I'm not mad." Her tone didn't mirror her words.

The lawyer entered, and Chandler stopped pacing.

"Hello," he greeted his anxious clients, "Thank you for coming in."

Chandler stood beside Monica's chair as the lawyer took his seat behind the desk. "Is there a problem?" he asked with concern.

"Well, yes and no," the lawyer replied. "It seems that you didn't get married, exactly."

"What?" Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe all asked, almost in unison.

"Well, you see, when you filled out the marriage license, you filled it out incorrectly. You," he pointed at Chandler, "Stated your name to be 'Chanandelor Bong'. And you," he pointed at Phoebe, "Stated your name to be 'Regina Phillange'. Because of this, the marriage isn't valid."

"So, what does this mean?" Phoebe asked.

"It means," the lawyer explained, "There is no need to file for an annulment because there is no marriage to annul."

"So, that's it?" Chandler asked. "We're just, **not married**."

"That's right," the lawyer nodded.

"So," Monica asked, "What happens now?"

The lawyer shrugged. "Well, now there is no need to file with the judge, and after I send some paperwork to the Vegas courthouse, it'll be like the ceremony never took place."

"Now," Phoebe interjected, "Would that be the same for any wedding where the legal name wasn't used?"

The lawyer scowled at her in confusion, "Yes, why?"

She smiled sheepishly, "No reason."

When the lawyer turned his attention to some forms on his desk, her smile grew wider.

"Yes!" she exclaimed in a whisper, then shook her head when it gained everyone's attention. "Nothing, nothing," she waved her hands, gesturing for the lawyer to continue with what he was doing.

*****

--"I don't think Monica is ever going to forgive me," Phoebe complained as she joined Joey on the couch at Central Perk.

"Yeah," Joey muttered, seemingly disinterested. "Shame."

Phoebe could tell he was upset about something. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied dismissively, vowing to give her the cold shoulder, hurt that she married Chandler, and what more, that it was **her** idea that they wed.

"Joey, I know you better than that," she scowled, "Are you upset with me?"

He couldn't keep up appearances any longer. As upset as he was with her, bottom line was, it was Phoebe. "Of all people, why Chandler?"

She looked at him for a moment, trying to understand the question. "What?"

"I guess I just thought that if you were ever gonna get married to one of us," he muttered disappointedly, "It would be me."

"Sweetie," she smiled as she placed her hand on his knee, "I didn't **marry him**, marry him. I just did it to help him out."

He looked like a dejected child, his face sad as he picked at imaginary lint on his pants. "Still."

"Look," she promised him, "The next time I get married to any of you guys, it'll be you," she grinned as she ran the back of her index finger down his face, "Ok?"

He glanced at her out of his peripheral vision, not quite ready to give up his anger, not at all ready to admit her touch stirred him. "Sure, now with Chandler out of the way and Ross already married," he grumbled.

She lightly pinched his chin between her thumb and forefinger, bringing his face to hers, leaning in and giving him a little-more-than-friendly kiss.

He pulled back, shocked. "What did you do that for?"

"You know you're my favorite," she said with a grin. "And you know I love you," she added sotto. "Don't be mad at me."

He smiled his typical lopsided grin. "I could never stay mad at you, Pheebs."

*****

--"How long are you going to freeze me out, Monica," Chandler asked as he watched her prepare dinner.

She continued to chop vegetables, the knife slicing angrily through the carrots. "I don't know yet," she replied coolly.

"You know it was just a mistake!" he defended himself. "You know I feel nothing for Phoebe! You know I was drunk at the time! What more do you need?"

"I've moved past being mad at you over the actual wedding," she informed distantly. "I'm now onto being mad at you for keeping it from me."

He sighed. "I was just trying to protect you."

"From the truth?" she asked after throwing him a brief condescending look.

"From getting hurt over my stupid mistake," he gestured at the air around him, his way of asking for her understanding.

"The truth might hurt," she stated softly, "But it's better than a lie."

"Ok, fine. You want the truth?" he challenged, "Here's the truth!"

Monica spun around to face him, not sure of what to expect next.

"I am in love with you. And I know you deserve better, but, I'm selfish. I want you, and I need you, and I will do anything to keep you. And if that includes lying to you about stupid mistakes I make, then, well--" he paused, leaving that sentence unfinished. "**But**, I would **never** lie to you about the important things, cause I love you too much to do that." 

She just stared at him for a moment, then a hint of a smile crossed her face. "Yeah, that's pretty honest." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" he asked optimistically.

Monica nodded. "I do."

His smile grew wider. "Good phrase to be remembering."

Her heart skipped a beat, and her breathing nearly stopped as she stared back at his grinning face. "Chandler? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

He pulled her in for a passionate kiss, which she surrendered to completely, dinner all but forgotten as they headed for her bedroom.

**__**

THE END


End file.
